"gay friendly"

greyed

I was wondering about this, could someone explain a little better? I know there are places that are known as "friendly" but what exactly makes them so and what would be "unfriendly". I guess it means its ok to kiss another guy there, etc but is this not ok in other places? I wouldnt kiss a dude in an old man pub, but is it not ok to do so in somewhere like whelans/academy for example? Would people care, react at all? I dont see non-gay bars as "straight bars", they're just bars too, can I not do as I like there like everyone else? What are peoples experiences with this?

Cheers.

Boston

Depends on how thick a skin you have. If I walk into an up market bar I have no problem kissing, holding hands or whatever. My rational being that while some people may not like it, they aren't going to start a physical altercation over it. However, places like the academy which is full of young lads out to prove themselves, the likelihood of that one person trying to demonstrate his displeasure with his fists is higher.

It's also different between the genders. Lesbian woman I think would are more likely to have men making crude comments and being physically aggressive.

greyed

I guess that makes sense in relation to upmarket places. I would have thought though that most people my age (20ish) would be cool with it, or if not, simply not bothered enough to start a fight. Maybe im being naive. Havnt had a bad word said to me so far, though ive never tried this :pac:

Im surprised to hear that lesbians would get it worse, would have thought guys would be reluctant to start something with a woman, lesbian or not... also would have thought some guys might even like that :pac:

Do you think its gotten better in recent years? This is new for me.

Boston

Most 20 something year olds in education wont care, and those that care won't care enough to start a fight. However there are plenty of 20 something year old who go out on a Friday night looking for a fight. I'm sorry to say but gay = weak = easy target in their minds. I don't think things have go much better in recent years, in fact I thing with the near ubiquitous use of coke and speed amount the young clubbing element things have got more dangerous. Generally the more up market a place is, the less likely you are to get hassle.

With regards to lesbians, I think the idea that all men like that is a misnomer in reality. I don't know much about Lesbians, but the impression I've been given is that they get far more hassle then gay lads.

greyed

Hehh, I suppose there is always that element. Cheers for your insight man.

shay_562

I've scored guys or been around friends scoring guys in plenty of random non-gay bars covering a fairly wide range (Purty Kitchen or XXIs probably being the most club-ish, but also Doyles and places like it) and never had hassle. Weird looks, yeah, and in the Purty Kitchen some random knacker wench took our photo and gave us a big "Go you!" speech 'cause she thought we were "so cute" (I fear the eye-roll emoticon is insufficient to display the level of 'Whatever' we both reacted with), but no one has ever actually tried anything on. I know that's probably more luck than wide-ranging acceptance, but meh. I reckon it's often less to do with the bar and more to do with the crowd on a given night, how big the group you're there with is etc (if there's clearly a rake of you, you're less likely to get hassle). I'd be a big fan of the '**** it, do it anyway, worst case scenario you get in a bit of a fight' mentality though.

And yeah, lesbians do seem to get a lot more jeers and catcalls than guys do. I guess even if they're gay, two guys are still a bit more threatening than two girls.

greyed

shay_562 wrote: »

took our photo and gave us a big "Go you!" speech 'cause she thought we were "so cute" (I fear the eye-roll emoticon is insufficient to display the level of 'Whatever' we both reacted with)

Hahh Cheers for the input, nice to hear you mention no problems in doyles, luck maybe, but i'd adopt a similar attitude to yourself.

The poor women :pac:

Boston

shay_562 wrote: »

I've scored guys or been around friends scoring guys in plenty of random non-gay bars covering a fairly wide range (Purty Kitchen or XXIs probably being the most club-ish, but also Doyles and places like it) and never had hassle. Weird looks, yeah, and in the Purty Kitchen some random knacker wench took our photo and gave us a big "Go you!" speech 'cause she thought we were "so cute" (I fear the eye-roll emoticon is insufficient to display the level of 'Whatever' we both reacted with), but no one has ever actually tried anything on. I know that's probably more luck than wide-ranging acceptance, but meh. I reckon it's often less to do with the bar and more to do with the crowd on a given night, how big the group you're there with is etc (if there's clearly a rake of you, you're less likely to get hassle). I'd be a big fan of the '**** it, do it anyway, worst case scenario you get in a bit of a fight' mentality though.

And yeah, lesbians do seem to get a lot more jeers and catcalls than guys do. I guess even if they're gay, two guys are still a bit more threatening than two girls.

Purty Kitchen does Gay nights though as far as my limited knowledge of these things go. If a bar is doing a gay night once a week, chances are its will be grand other nights.

With regards to Doyles, do you not remember that night a year ago outside Doyles with the Fianna Fall Trinity Students given myself and my soon to be partner abuse. They were extremely vocal about their discontent until I stared them down and made them leave. Later on a separate group of lads kept walking back and forth debating if they wanted to take us on while hurling abuse only to think better off it and **** off. Good times.

That said I've been kissing boys in Doyles since I was 19, and never experienced a night like that before or since.

Daith

Boston wrote: »

That said I've been kissing boys in Doyles since I was 19, and never experienced a night like that before or since.

I remember going there a couple of weeks back at their 10 year anniversary. A male couple were holding hands and were getting nasty looks. Just made me think twice about it. Maybe it was just the non regular crowd though.

shay_562

Boston wrote:

With regards to Doyles, do you not remember that night a year ago outside Doyles with the Fianna Fall Trinity Students given myself and my soon to be partner abuse. They were extremely vocal about their discontent until I stared them down and made them leave. Later on a separate group of lads kept walking back and forth debating if they wanted to take us on while hurling abuse only to think better off it and **** off. Good times.

****, totally forgot about that - I left ye a bit before all that kicked off so it didn't stick in my mind at all. OK, so it's more prone to utter twats than I thought - I'd still count it as being relatively 'safe' (much as I hate to use that word) as non-gay bars go. Didn't know Purty Kitchen had a gay night though, although I'm not sure that means a bar will automatically be OK the other 6 nights of the week. I get what you're saying though.

Bleh. It annoys me beyond words that this is even an issue.

diddlybit

I don't know if a female couple woulld get less hassle than a male couple, though I suppose it would be a different type of attention. Going out with a woman on a busy night you will be definately be asked if some twta can "join in" or that you are "exactly what he likes to see". It drives people insane and a lot of women I know wont be affectionate in public as a result. (I personally will tell them where to go.) I would have thought that a male couple would have a greater problem with drunken fools starting fights with them? But I could be wrong.

Gay friendly= no hassle But saying that I've been out with straight friends before in the G and they've had disparging remarks said to them. So places like that would be gay-exclusive? The Flounge isa good example I think of queer friendly....

Aard

Regarding the OP:

I don't think it makes any difference whether a place is self-described as "gay-friendly" or not. Bottom line is, the atmosphere on a given night will dictate just how "friendly" people are. If a place puts up a "gay-friendly" notice, it's probably pretty obvious beforehand that that is so. I'd think that advertising the fact is just an attempt at being "trendy".

Having said all that though, the only place I've seen advertising friendliness towards the gays is Cornucopia. Which fits my model of desired trendiness.

unreggd

Wherever you go, it only takes one gobshite to start some trouble