relationship age gaps

Vampireskiss

From what age do you think age gaps become less of an issue, i mean obviously an 18 year man or women can have a relationship with an adult of any age but an 18 year old girl having a relationship with a 28 year old man is more unusual than a 23 year old girl being with a 33 year old man, and in these circumstances doesnt soceity make it look worse if the female is the older one in the relationship?

taram

In these situations I always think it's more to do with the person rather than the number, like one of my friends is 24, going out with a 34 year old, but she's been in her job 6 years, they have a mortage, a cat- all that jazz. Other friend is same age, she's in college, spends most of her time shagging 2nd years it seems and getting wasted, very different mindsets.

At 18 though most people aren't anywhere near as mature as someone in their 30's, or even late 20's, I dated a 31 year old when I was 18 and we were a disaster zone Similarly, I dated an 18 year old fresh out of school when I was in 3rd year college, head wreck. But that's just my opionion, not scientfic fact :P

Society probably does make it look worse, but sure, typical blame womenfolk :eek:

AFC_1903

The 'Half Plus 7 rule' is king here.

Take the age of the elder person in a relationship, half it and add seven to that. - that is the minimum age of any partners they ought to be have or potentially chasing after.

ie. 28yr old. 28/2 = 14 14+7 = 21
ie. 34yr old 34/2 = 17 17+7 = 24
ie. 50yr old 50/2 = 25 25+7 = 32

I know love may cross all boundaries (including age) but I find this to be a good rule of thumb.

Fago!

I'm 19. So I should be going out with a 16 and a half year old?

Fago_25

Fago_25 wrote: »

I'm 19. So I should be going out with a 16 and a half year old?

Nah you have a range.....16.5-24.

entropi

Moonbaby wrote: »

Nah you have a range.....16.5-24.

Exactly, if you go by these rules its either side of your age...but it usually only works for people aged 20+. For example myself, i'm 28 so that would put me in a range of say 21 to 35 year olds...and i had always put 21 as a safe age bracket for myself anyway, yet actually dont care about that now since if they are 18 or above, and things look good on paper then why not?

In my opinion, it really depends on levels of maturity, compatibility and attraction. If these tick the right boxes then its good to go:D

Fago!

Moonbaby wrote: »

Nah you have a range.....16.5-24.

You're 24 right?






Kidding mods.

4zn76tysfajdxp

When I first heard about it, the dude who told me about the "half your age + seven" rule said that it only applies once you hit 22. Until then, it's the two year rule.

Master of Nothing

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Exactly, if you go by these rules its either side of your age...but it usually only works for people aged 20+. For example myself, i'm 28 so that would put me in a range of say 21 to 35 year olds...and i had always put 21 as a safe age bracket for myself anyway, yet actually dont care about that now since if they are 18 or above, and things look good on paper then why not?

In my opinion, it really depends on levels of maturity, compatibility and attraction. If these tick the right boxes then its good to go:D

Actually our range is 21.5-44.

~slides glasses up nose~

Sorry Faygo

minidazzler

Moonbaby wrote: »

Actually our range is 21.5-44.

~slides glasses up nose~

Sorry Faygo

I thought you were like 22??? Your female, your range goes where you want it! If you go for a young guy, you're seen as the mature woman, an old guy, you are the girl with some to learn. The same age = Boring.

minidazzler

minidazzler wrote: »

I thought you were like 22???

Shhuuusssshhhhh Mentally I'm nine and a half.

Silverfish

The OP wants a discussion on this, so if we could to that without disrupting the thread that would be great, thanks.

Yes, this is a moderator warning.

Smallbit

My ex was 14 years older than me. It really began to show when I was 35 and he was nearly 50...

I'm not saying it was the reason for splitting but it did contribute. He was a bit too pipe and slippers and didn't see any reason to dine out, or socialize with friends any younger than him.

Age difference in a relationship can sometimes start out as insignificant and end up becoming the deal breaker... the age difference will always be the same number of years, but the things you want in life depend on your stage in life.

John Mason

Vampireskiss wrote: »

....... and in these circumstances doesnt soceity make it look worse if the female is the older one in the relationship?

if thats the case society can go feck itself . i am very happy being the older person in the relationship thank you very much

seriously, if you are happy why care what anyone or society thinks. they are probably just miserable in their relationships

Twee.

Don't think it matters what age it's "acceptable" by (assuming all parties are being legal about it!), if it works, it works! My 19 year old friend has been going out with a 30 year old guy for short while, but it ended as they just kept freaking out about it. She really liked him, and vice versa, but they just couldn't get wholly comfortable with the idea.

Ferris_Bueller

Francis Tangy Tapioca wrote: »

When I first heard about it, the dude who told me about the "half your age + seven" rule said that it only applies once you hit 22. Until then, it's the two year rule.

Heard myself it applies to you once you hit 18. At 18 its the same thing (half 18=9+7=16) so would make sense. But until then, I will remain a religious follower of the 2 year rule.

Snowie

minidazzler wrote: »

I thought you were like 22??? Your female, your range goes where you want it! If you go for a young guy, you're seen as the mature woman, an old guy, you are the girl with some to learn. The same age = Boring.

How in merlins beard is a 22 year old woman "mature"? there still developing hair in funny places ...

psycho-hope

im 23 and dating a 38 year old, suits me fine, was brought up by mum on her own so am used to being around older people since i was little, before him i was seeing a guy the same age as my mam for a while, didnt work out because he thought the age gap was too much, but hes still a dear friend:)

Fago!

I'm 19. Would it be ok, in yisser eyes, for me to go out with a 28 year old?

minidazzler

Fago_25 wrote: »

I'm 19. Would it be ok, in yisser eyes, for me to go out with a 28 year old?

Hellz yeah! Sugah Mama FTW! :P

Really, you get a chance, do it! You will learn young paduan.

Novella

Fago_25 wrote: »

I'm 19. Would it be ok, in yisser eyes, for me to go out with a 28 year old?

Yup! That'd be grand! You'd be her toy boy, kinda!

I don't really think age matters. If two people are happy (and it's all legal etc.) then I say go for it. Age is just a number, you only live once, all that jazz!

Senna

The brother who's 40 married a 26yr old woman last year, she's maturer than her age and he's defiantly acts younger than he is, so it works out perfect. Plus appearance wise they dont look like there's a big age gap. So it really come down to the type of person.

robbie_998

i've posted this before about twice now i think but sure here i go again.

girl aged 16 + guy aged 42

and she was pregnant at the time, after this she left the guy and went with one of his "mates" (while still pregnant) who was about the same age and they were all still talking and stuff

Fago!

Novella wrote: »

Yup! That'd be grand! You'd be her toy boy, kinda!

I don't really think age matters. If two people are happy (and it's all legal etc.) then I say go for it. Age is just a number, you only live once, all that jazz!

minidazzler wrote: »

Hellz yeah! Sugah Mama FTW! :P

Really, you get a chance, do it! You will learn young paduan.

Suga mama? Toy boy? Yes please!

Alls I need now is a fine piece of 28 year old wimminz. I'll deck her halls and give her a hooooly night. Pah-rup-pah-pu-puuuuum!

Jessibelle

I went out with a gentleman 12 years my senior for a long time. I was in my early twenties when we started dating, mid when we broke up. We're still mates but whereas the age gap wasn't a problem when we started dating, as we progressed, it did become a bit obvious that we were at completely different stages of our lives, he wanted to settle, have kids etc I wanted to travel, go mad at the weekends etc. It was an amicable breakup and it wouldn't put me off dating anyone with such a gap in ages again, (I always seem to wind up with partners older than me anyways ) but I would be cautious in that I'd feel if it was to last, we'd need to be at fairly similar stages in life.

minidazzler

robbie_998 wrote: »

i've posted this before about twice now i think but sure here i go again.

girl aged 16 + guy aged 42

and she was pregnant at the time, after this she left the guy and went with one of his "mates" (while still pregnant) who was about the same age and they were all still talking and stuff

May I ask where her parents were in all this? That sounds like grooming to me!

Fago_25 wrote: »

Suga mama? Toy boy? Yes please!

Alls I need now is a fine piece of 28 year old wimminz. I'll deck her halls and give her a hooooly night. Pah-rup-pah-pu-puuuuum!

Go for older, 35-40ish, 28 year olds will think you are too immature, older will think you are a young stallion at his peak! :P

robbie_998

minidazzler wrote: »

May I ask where her parents were in all this? That sounds like grooming to me!

Grooming ??? (explain please ?)

and yes well the farther liked the chap but at the same time couldn't give a crap.... dunno bout the mother.

father lived away else where... the 16 year old lived with the mother but moved out to live with the guy so i guess there wasn't really much that could be done from the parents.

do bear in mind this isn't exactly a maculate area of Dublin in which the two are from.