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I think this girl ruined me..

  • 22-12-2009 9:25pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This is stupid, and I know it is and it drives me insane.

    Basically November 2006 I met this girl in my friends college, and we got talking, texting, bebo'ing everyday and as each day went on it got more serious and whatever. It got to the stage where we'd talk on the phone for an hour every night. (distance problem). We were in different colleges so only saw each other a few times. Anyway come Jan 07, it was pretty clear to me I was in love with this girl, the first time I'd been in love and she felt the same, but then it all ended, she went off with another guy and she stopped talking to me..

    anyway here I am, 4 years later and I still think about her often! I've seen other girls and been with other girls but nothing major. What made this girl amazing in the first place is she's probably the only person who's ever 'got' me so to speak, and we got on very well.

    Anyway, I feel like she's ruined me, I can't get her out of my head and find it hard to find someone else who I'd feel really attracted to.. help?


Comments

  • #2
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,378 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Ah, I remember my first love too with the same fondness. Fortunately there are second and third after.


  • #3
    jellyboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 615 ✭✭✭jellyboy


    jimmycrackcorm wrote: »
    Ah, I remember my first love too with the same fondness. Fortunately there are second and third after.

    im thinking that jimmy is a very wise and zen type person ....im wishing that you love with colours....dave(slilghted pissed and loving meself)


  • #4
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,351 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    jellyboy, I suggest you don't post in this forum again until you sober up.

    Thanks


  • #5
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,378 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    jellyboy wrote: »
    im thinking that jimmy is a very wise and zen type person ....im wishing that you love with colours....dave(slilghted pissed and loving meself)

    Look, I'll spell it out. OP, if you fast forward 20 years, you'll by that stage probably be married with one or more kids. As people do and life is. Now ask yourself what your first love might mean then...


  • #6
    lynsalot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 407 ✭✭lynsalot


    Hi Op
    break ups are always hard. i'm going through one at the minute myself. My first love was huge and very hard to get over but the thing is i got there. i met other boyfriends and even married one.

    I promise u things aren't going to always feel like this. it just takes time and lots of it and yes it is possible to still hurt after 4 years but ur only responsible for yourself. u don't want to be pining after someone after 4 years... and she clearly didn't share the intensity of ur feelings if she went off with someone else.

    You deserve to be with someone whose going to give u back as much as u put in. And u will meet someone else... possibly a few others. i "bumped" into my first love on bebo about a yr ago and didn't feel anything - wished him well but no hurt or sadness.

    I know it seems hard but the same will happen for you


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  • #7
    mondeo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,680 ✭✭✭mondeo


    I was in a similar situation 3 years ago, I know well what it's like to be in constant contact with someone then they vanish. For me she was ruining me and I knew it well as she played alot of mind games with me, so we left eachother and never spoke again, killed me to walk away from it and 1 yr later I was still left knotted up in myself that I decided to see a Hypnotist under advice from a friend about getting over the problem. The Hypnotist basicaly removed the emotional attachment I had with my ex lover, therefore I could think about her freely without having to feel the sense of loss, betrayel and fear that was involved everytime I though about her.. Now when I think of her I just feel like she is another person on the street who I never really had a connection with in the first place.

    If you want you can PM and I will give you the details of the Hypnotist I dealt with. He is an exceptionaly nice guy who has been through this kinda stuff himself so he can relate to you very well about anything as he did with me.
    4 years is a long time to dwell over a girl, it's time to let that go....

    Cheers


  • #8
    El_mariachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 381 ✭✭El_mariachi


    jimmycrackcorm wrote: »
    Look, I'll spell it out. OP, if you fast forward 20 years, you'll by that stage probably be married with one or more kids. As people do and life is. Now ask yourself what your first love might mean then...

    Listen to this song too, or just read the lyrics, cheesy but true!

    [edit: you tube links are not permitted]


  • #9
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    unreg2119 wrote: »
    This is stupid, and I know it is and it drives me insane.

    Basically November 2006 I met this girl in my friends college, and we got talking, texting, bebo'ing everyday and as each day went on it got more serious and whatever. It got to the stage where we'd talk on the phone for an hour every night. (distance problem). We were in different colleges so only saw each other a few times. Anyway come Jan 07, it was pretty clear to me I was in love with this girl, the first time I'd been in love and she felt the same, but then it all ended, she went off with another guy and she stopped talking to me..

    anyway here I am, 4 years later and I still think about her often! I've seen other girls and been with other girls but nothing major. What made this girl amazing in the first place is she's probably the only person who's ever 'got' me so to speak, and we got on very well.

    Anyway, I feel like she's ruined me, I can't get her out of my head and find it hard to find someone else who I'd feel really attracted to.. help?

    I know a couple of blokes who are still wrapped up in there "first love", some of them near 30. To be honest, at times, i want to grab them by the neck and just shake some sense into them. Extreme, but i hate to see a person cripple themselves.

    Relationships, emotions, the feeling of love. It's like anything else, as you practice, you hopefully get better, as you experience things, you grow and learn. Basically most people go through a couple, or a few, or a dozen relationships and in that time learn things about themselves and about the opposite sex and after a while, you even have enough experience and learning done to be able to have an honest to god adult relationship.

    This girl didn't "ruin you", yeah, she was a bitch ( admit it ) and she said some things and then did others.....but, you have wrapped yourself around the dying embers of your pain for fours years man. Your just hung up on it.

    I know it sounds harsh, and unhelpful, but move on dude, or else in 4 more years you'll still be in the same boat, pining for a girl who basically seems to have used you for emotional support when she needed it, then jumped ship with the first flashy sailor who showed up.


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