In the Cellar - dr.bollocko

Tom Dunne

Good Evening and welcome to the latest installment of In the Cellar.

In this installment, we have bagged one of the more prolific, dare I say celebrity, moderators on Boards.ie. A man who hails from the west of the country and has aligned himself with the medical profession. He has, however, described as a "scurrilous rumour" the suggestion that he coined the phrase "I'm not a gynecologist, but sure I'll have a look".

If moderating a forum on Boards.ie can be at times compared to herding cats, moderating After Hours surely must compare to herding cats of a nervous disposition on a hot tin roof. A job which he performs admirably, usually adding a dose of his own caustic wit and a liberal sprinkling of wisdom that belies his youthful demeanour.

I refer, of course, to dr.bollocko.

So, Doc, I put to you the following questions:

1: Bacon or ham?

2: Ignoring the fact that reindeer cannot talk, if you could ask Rudolf the Red Nosed reindeer one question, what would it be?

3: If you had to appear on one Reality TV show, what would it be and why?

dr.bollocko

Tom Dunne wrote: »

1: Bacon or ham?

I need both to live. This topic is very important. It's close to my heart. We need red meat to live and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So both. And regularly.

2: Ignoring the fact that reindeer cannot talk, if you could ask Rudolf the Red Nosed reindeer one question, what would it be?

Mine would be "Do you think it's right that navel gazing big noses should be allowed get what they want by sulking and moping around the place?"
Santa picking that guy was a pretty bad example of positive discrimination at work. What about the other reindeer? I think they were discounted because they didn't have a red nose. And that's patently unfair.
Also a red nose is not much use in aviation. If I were santa I would find that likely to be a distraction rather than anything else. If I were a reindeer I would be far more re-assured by some strong lights to help guide the way. If I were rudolph, I'd be feeling very lucky I didn't end up in the lunch box instead of on the top of the sleigh. Cos that's where I would have put the whiny little bastard.

3: If you had to appear on one Reality TV show, what would it be and why?

Bands on the run was the only one I would have loved to be in. It aired for a small time on VH1 and followed a bunch of bands around in a competition to see who could get the most people to gigs. It was farcically brilliant. I always wanted to tour with a really crap band.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Who's your favourite AH mod?

dr.bollocko

Me.

trout

1. How much do you weigh ?
2. What is yore favourite colour ?
3. Ubuntu or Kubuntu ?
4. Favourite video game of the 80's ?
5. Favourite video game of the 90's ?
6. Favourite video game EVAR ?
7. Which BGRH regular do you lust for ?
8. For roast ham - do you go for cloves, honey or ginger ?
9. Roast potatoes - rolled in flour or not ?
10. What do you think of when you see Rice Pudding ?
11. Classic Rock forum - discuss

Tom Dunne

dr.bollocko wrote: »

So both. And regularly.

Impressive.

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Santa picking that guy was a pretty bad example of positive discrimination at work. What about the other reindeer? I think they were discounted because they didn't have a red nose. And that's patently unfair.

Are we in possession of the full facts, dr.bollocko? I put it to you that Rudolf was in fact the Aplha Reindeer of the group and therefore natural selection dictated that he, not Prancer, not Dancer, not even Vixen, was chosen to lead the sleigh on that fateful night due to the attributes he showed, not least of which was the aforementioned nasal issue.

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I always wanted to tour with a really crap band.

So, if you were to sing one song from the 70's what would it be?

dr.bollocko

trout wrote: »

1. How much do you weigh ?
2. What is yore favourite colour ?
3. Ubuntu or Kubuntu ?
4. Favourite video game of the 80's ?
5. Favourite video game of the 90's ?
6. Favourite video game EVAR ?
7. Which BGRH regular do you lust for ?
8. For roast ham - do you go for cloves, honey or ginger ?
9. Roast potatoes - rolled in flour or not ?
10. What do you think of when you see Rice Pudding ?
11. Classic Rock forum - discuss

Jaysus trouty. Are these pre-packaged? Thats a lot to answer in one sitting.
1. 12 stone give or take a few pounds. I don't do new money.
2. My favourite colour is blue.
3. Ubuntu or Kubuntu? Neither. I fear and hate them both. Whatever they are.
4 Pole position and Galaga. None of your mario bros. I always hated that fat working class slob.
5. Championship manager. Is it OK to say PC games? I lost months to that game. Damn addictive. If not that then super smash tv or Streets of rage.
6. The original Tony Hawk on the PS1.
7. BGRH member I lust for? My girlfriend doesn't post here so I guess they all have... emm... bottoms?
8. Roast ham is a tricky one. You need the cloves and they have to be scored delicately into the fat. Then the ham glaze is important too. God knows whats in it. It comes in a pot. I'd recommend that.
9. No rolled in flour. Flour is the devil. Par boil for a few minutes then pop them out, dry and coat in duck fat. 45 minutes at 180 degrees. Perfect.
10. Viewing rice pudding results in a parade of flashbacks of all the times I have disappointed myself in life.
11. There's no water down that well no more. i'll just keep moaning about it until they set one up just to shut me up. Yeah that's right admins. I'll never stop.

dr.bollocko

Tom Dunne wrote: »

So, if you were to sing one song from the 70's what would it be?

Maggie May. Today it's Maggie May.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Rod Stewart sucks.


Oh wait, it's supposed to be a question isn't it?

Rod Stewart sucks?

My name is URL

When are you gonna get your schlong out for the kids?

dr.bollocko

Maria Tinkling Ferry wrote: »

Rod Stewart sucks.


Oh wait, it's supposed to be a question isn't it?

Rod Stewart sucks?

Rod stewart does not suck!

My name is URL wrote: »

When are you gonna get your schlong out for the kids?

Yeah I know I been putting that on the long finger. January. Definitely January.

Tom Dunne

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Rod stewart does not suck!

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Yeah I know I been putting that on the long finger. January. Definitely January.

Won't there be issues around, ahem, the temperature? You may under-represent yourself in such weather. People may be disappointed.

dr.bollocko

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.



Won't there be issues around, ahem, the temperature? You may under-represent yourself in such weather. People may be disappointed.

People WILL be disappointed. Naked man with small cock in january however is much less likely to result in arrests as say naked man with bulging semi to full erection in January. You takes your chances.

the_syco

Favorite pub?
Favorite alcoholic drink?
What alcoholic drink do you regularly drink?
Hellfest or Slane?

Splinter

Thaed or Beruth? and why?
Why the username?
What Beverage will you be necking this christmas season?

dr.bollocko

the_syco wrote: »

Favorite pub?
Favorite alcoholic drink?
What alcoholic drink do you regularly drink?
Hellfest or Slane?

Favourite pubs at the moment are pretty much anywhere on Dominick st. here in Galway. Generally the high stool in Limerick were great when it was open. Alas it is now no more. Other than that anywhere with a jukebox and a pool table. And no micro breweries.

Alcoholic drinks: Favourite would be a good Irish whiskey. Tyrconnell single malt is a good reaonably priced one.
I regularly drink all of them. Not to put too fine a point on it. Smithwicks in the pub or a jameson with water. Italian red wine. Good stuff. I drink too much.

Hellfest definitely. I've seen most of the big metal bands live a bunch of times. Metal gigs are the best concerts by far.

dr.bollocko

Splinter wrote: »

Thaed or Beruth? and why?

I'm man enough for both. I met thaedydal so I reckon I'd be in there seeing as how I am awesome. But I can tell beruthiel has a twinkle in her eye that whispers bollocko. She doesn't want me to see it. But I know it's there.

Why the username?

Because it sounds cool. I used to write in a college newspaper about the semi-autobiographical adventures of a supervillain named dr.bollocko. I just slowly became him.

What Beverage will you be necking this christmas season?

All of them. I love the booze. Rarely met a drink I didn't like.
Except JD. Or any of that american crap.

Splinter

did you just admit to liking beers like Budweiser and Coors *shudder* light?

OldGoat

The 'Good' Troll - Myth or mythtake?
Do you feel the need to get down and trolly every now and then, by the light of the full moon, after a glass or two of something warming.
We all know that modship can suck the fun out of the very marrow (Cite: Javaboy) so do you ever unleash your inner troll and if so on what forum?

dr.bollocko

Splinter wrote: »

did you just admit to liking beers like Budweiser and Coors *shudder* light?

See above:

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Except JD. Or any of that american crap.

American crap includes piss beers.

OldGoat wrote: »

The 'Good' Troll - Myth or mythtake?
Do you feel the need to get down and trolly every now and then, by the light of the full moon, after a glass or two of something warming.
We all know that modship can suck the fun out of the very marrow (Cite: Javaboy) so do you ever unleash your inner troll and if so on what forum?

I'm just a thanks whore with a mods badge really. I dunno about trolling, but I like to take the piss, slag people off. I have a bit of an AHttitude when posting around the place. I guess since becoming a mod I haven't been banned from anywhere (fairly) so to a certain extent it does show you you don't want to make work for other mods. As for inner troll, check modutils now and you should see my last ban still in the recent bans list. Check the reason for that ban.
Ouch.

4zn76tysfajdxp

What have been your personal Boards highlights and lowlights? The naked picture thing goes without saying..

trout

1. Inny or Outty ?
2. Which BGRH regular could you defeat in hand to hand combat ?
3. What one thing induces bowel crunching fear in yore innards ?
4. Manta or Capri ?
5. Linden or Scrumpy ?
6. Steak and chips, or beef stew ?
7. When was the last time you soiled yoreself ?
8. PC or Mac ?
9. How high is yore pain threshold ?
10. Sumo or UFC ?
11. What is the best thing about Supermacs ?
12. Bailey's Irish Creme ... discuss.
13. What are yore thoughts on the bizzare and senseless lack of a Classic Rock forum here on Boards.ie ?
14. Best AC/DC song ?
15. Favourite AC/DC song ?
16. If you could be on stage with AC/DC ... what would you sing ?
17. Do you ever sit down to pee ?
18. Under what circumstances is it permissible for two men to share the same umbrella ?

Gaspode

Did you happen to see where I left my locker key?
And who stole the goodie bag off my desk yesterday?
If boards was to disappear suddenly, how would you fill your time?
Have you ever used your mod status to win friends, influence people, or to entice wimmens into your lair?

OutlawPete

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Rod stewart does not suck!

He sucked me. Maybe it was your aftershave.

Best looking galwegian lady of all time?

robbie_998

Why the Avatar ?

OutlawPete

robbie_998 wrote: »

Why the Avatar ?

That's not an Avatar Robbie .. :eek:

Here's some CCTV from earlier today ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Xb_V0PAdU

dr.bollocko

Maria Tinkling Ferry wrote: »

What have been your personal Boards highlights and lowlights? The naked picture thing goes without saying..

Heh.

trout wrote: »

1. Inny or Outty ?
   
   Inny
   
2. Which BGRH regular could you defeat in hand to hand combat ?
   
   I met Robbo once. I could probably take him. Any of the larger more docile creatures. I'm skinny and mean. I can throw these thangs if needed.
   
3. What one thing induces bowel crunching fear in yore innards ?
   
   Heights and enclosed spaces. Ever since I went to the top of St. Peter's
   basilica. We don't ****ing belong up higher off the ground than we can jump and if I wanted to spend all my time in a small space I'd be a gynaecologist.
   
4. Manta or Capri ?
   Capri! No. Manta. Actually they're both awesome. To be fair they aren't making cool looking cars any more.
   
5. Linden or Scrumpy ?
   
   Hmmm.... Not a big fan of the cider. They're both a bit crap.
   
6. Steak and chips, or beef stew ?
   
   Can't I have both?! Steak and chips. As long as it's a t-bone. I have recently rediscovered t-bones. Seriously. Get your woman to buy you a nice t-bone. I'm bringing it back.
   
7. When was the last time you soiled yoreself ?
   
   I really can't remember. Expand on the question. A dribble of piss down the front of the boxers? Can happen. Full on poopage on oneself, I've never had the pleasure. Well. Not since I've been out of nappies.
   
8. PC or Mac ?
   
   PC. I hate macs. I hate mac users. I hate ipods. I hate apple. I hate Steve jobs. I hate iphones. I hate itunes. I hate apps. I hate the way they look, I hate the way they work and I hate how people keep going on as if they're the best thing ever. The best thing ever is t-bone steak. So take your ipod and put it where the sun doesn't shine.
   
9. How high is yore pain threshold ?
   
   How am I to test that in a manner we can all measure? I get punched a lot when I'm drunk and don't get knocked out. Though I once dropped a plate of bolognese on my big toe and couldn't walk on it for a week. So maybe my jaw feels no pain but my toes are gheh.
   
10. Sumo or UFC ?
    Sumo is just fatties jumping about the place getting angry at each other. If I wanted to see that I'd post in the ladies lounge. UFC appears to be a bunch of good looking young fellas in underwear hugging each other to death. If women did it it might be watchable.
    
    
11. What is the best thing about Supermacs ?
    
    The sauce they have in the burgers is awesome. I don't know what it is. It is the best burger sauce.
    
12. Bailey's Irish Creme ... discuss.
    
    How could you take something as wonderful as whiskey and turn it into that shite? Makes me ill. Can't drink more than one of them ever. Wimmen like it.
    
13. What are yore thoughts on the bizzare and senseless lack of a Classic Rock forum here on Boards.ie ?
    
    Heh. I asked for one and they told me there was a forum called BGRH for it already. That's stereotyping that is. If there was a place specifically to talk about it people would. That said sub-divison of forums into smaller forums can really suck. In a situation where boards would only have one music forum it would be unnecessary. When there's a forum for experimental music, mustard and bouncy castles the rejection of Classic Rock with its current popularity was a poor choice. Look at the bands reforming and still touring, the demand for tickets, the complete lack of good rock music coming out in the past ten years. All the pieces are there for it to be a good little forum. But people get so hung up and defensive and try to define classic rock. Meh. It should be there. I understand why it was rejected but when you look at the sub divisions that got the go ahead it seems dumb to have veto'd the classic rock forum. Look at the request thread as well. A lot of people wanted that forum.
14. Best AC/DC song ?
    
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgL8qqjOnlg
15. Favourite AC/DC song ?
    
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w
16. If you could be on stage with AC/DC ... what would you sing ?
    Maggie may. I ****ing love that song.
17. Do you ever sit down to pee ?
    Nevar. Unless i'm also pooping or have just dropped a plate of bolognese on my foot.
    
18. Under what circumstances is it permissible for two men to share the same umbrella ?
    It's never permissible. Real men don't use umbrellas.

robbie_998 wrote: »

Why the Avatar ?

The avatar speaks to me. jobsworth with a fag in his mouth. Surly. I can never change it now.

OutlawPete

Do you forgive family members easily?

And if not, what kind of punishment do they receive?

Gordon

Tell me more about going bollocko, are you going to do it when nobody is about at 5am or will it be a quick 11pm job as fast as possible? And will the picture have your face edited out or not? Good luck with it by the way, I'll save the well done until afterwards!

dr.bollocko

Well I'm going to have to be a bit secretive with the plan till the job's done. Who knows who could be reading what.
That and it's gonna be a bit more spur of the moment. I have done a bit of recon work around the area. Its strange, like certain times of the evening you'd get away with it, others there's too many people. Ideally I would have an escape driver.
The picture will probably have my face editted out tbh. People from work use boards and I don't want to risk that so I can't really see a way around it.
It's fun to plan though.

dr.bollocko

I'm going to have to start answering questions nobody asked.
Ten inches.
Led Zeppelin.
On the road.
OK Computer.