To Christmas contact, or not to Christmas contact

LegacyUser

I broke up with my ex about 6 weeks ago. We have not been in contact since, but I was wondering if to call/text/otherwise contact with a 'Merry Christmas' would be too intrusive..?

Experiences/thoughts welcome

John Mason

no, leave well enough alone

Sephiroth_dude

As irishbird said just leave it be and move on.

krudler

Nope, its the classic "just an xmas text" that leads to questions, doubt and more heartbreak, been there done that from both sides, as the sender and reciever, resist!

sporina

look at it this way - if there was no such thing as texting - would you make contact is some other way ie: phone call, call over, card, email etc?

If the answer is no - then do not text...

will only lead to "oh he texted me - does that mean he/she misses me? he/she is thinking of me? etc

leading to more pain more confusion.

LegacyUser

no, please leave well enough alone. i was dumped 5 wks ago and i sincerely HOPE that my Ex doesn't txt me as i will be confused, upset and analyse. we had a clean break and for me, that's for the best in long-term hopefully

LegacyUser

Hi, please don't text/phone/email. I did last Christmas and I ruined my Christmas thinking of him/would he answer/what did he mean by his text. Please don't contact. Christmas is just a few days of festivities. spend time with friends, family etc.

Onwards and upwards in 2010

jellyboy

Go for it...

Only you know whats best for you...

the worst that can happen is you will learn from the experince....

LegacyUser

Well, I sent a text, got a mediocre response, added her on facebook to find that I had been accepted, and then deleted hours later.. I was just trying to extend the olive branch, to show that there's no hard feelings and the like.

Is that not the most confusing thing ever??

Gotta move on I guess...

krudler

unreg1212121 wrote: »

Well, I sent a text, got a mediocre response, added her on facebook to find that I had been accepted, and then deleted hours later.. I was just trying to extend the olive branch, to show that there's no hard feelings and the like.

Is that not the most confusing thing ever??

Gotta move on I guess...

Told ya, its never a good idea

dudara

The time for the olive branch is in the future - it's too soon right now for that kind of thing.

LegacyUser

I suppose I should have known it would go like this. Its just that she wanted to be friends directly after the relationship, whereas I said we couldn't (to give time to grieve etc.). Then 6 weeks later I try to be friendly, and ... nothin.

Did she not want to be friends in the first place?

By the way, she deleted me at 3am, after I put up a happy christmas status update. Perhaps she was hurt when she looked at my profile or something. All I know is, is that Im very sad, and confused.

Wurly

Well I think it's pretty impossible for most people to go from lovers to friends immediately. Things need time. Maybe one day you can be friends.

To stop yourself feeling sad and confused, you need to move on. Maybe she'll come back to you, maybe she won't. But you can't sit around and wait.

Sure, this all sounds very easy.. Of course things like this are difficult at first. But to leave yourself in limbo and hang around - that's worse. So cut your losses and get on with your life.

LegacyUser

I even have this stupid thought of sending her flowers to patch things up between her and I. I didn't even do anything wrong. I suppose I'm just lonely or something. I would love to be able to talk to her, but no, here I am posting, probably sounding like a bunny boiler.

FML

dudara

Of course you're feeling lonely - that's only natural. I wouldn't recommend sending the flowers however, based on what you've said here.

Instead of pining after her, do you have anyone else you can turn to for a chat and a bit of fun? You need to take your mind off her in order to start healing.

Wurly

unreg1212121 wrote: »

I even have this stupid thought of sending her flowers to patch things up between her and I. I didn't even do anything wrong. I suppose I'm just lonely or something. I would love to be able to talk to her, but no, here I am posting, probably sounding like a bunny boiler.

FML

Mate - you're not a bunny boiler at all. You're just not thinking straight cos you're hurt..

Don't send the flowers now. If she deleted you off facebook and was a bit off yesterday, then flowers is just going to make her feel more crowded.

Please just try and get on with your life. DO NOT wait around. Sure, what happens in 2 months time and if you find out she's with someone else? You've basically wasted 2 months of your life pining for someone. If she's ever going to come back, she will. But you can't force that. Furthermore, you may not even feel the same about her as you do now.

At this moment in time, you have been dumped, right? You have more options than you think. Go to practically everything you've been invited to. If you're asked out - go. Take up something that you've always wanted to do. Work a bit on yourself if you need. But don't sit around for something that may never materialise.

If she does come back and you still feel the same, well have a think about things then. In the meantime, I think the above advice will serve you well. Give yourself a day or two to grieve and then after that, it's time to get your sh*t together. Just no more contact now, right? You've offered the olive branch already so you've no more reasons to get in touch.