dread meeting in-laws and boyf friends

LegacyUser

hi

this is not much of a problem compared to other ones i see on here, but it has an effect on my life.

Ive always been shy and much more comfortable just being with 1 or 2 friends at a time. My boyf is more outgoing than me (which wouldnt be hard to be honest) and meets up with friends and family regularly. I dont have a problem with this, but we've now moved in together and are living in his hometown. This means im quite a bit aways from my family and friends. Im not homesick, my problem is that i now have to see his friends and family much more often (theyre nice, so i really dont mean this in a rude way). I dont feel like i can say no, because they all know i dont know anyone else here, so it would be like a snub. And even if i can get out of the odd meet-up, i still see them so much more than i want to. I dread when i hear my boyf on the phone making arrangments to meet up. Id be so much happier staying at home by myself. I dont feel like i can talk to him about this, cos i know what a weirdo i must sound esp to people who arent as shy as me.

I never know what to say or talk about to his friends, i feel like i have nothing in common with them. As for his family, i spend most of my time trying not to make a fool of myself. I know i must come across as so socially awkward to all of them and even my boyf tells me they all think im really really quiet. There hasnt been a weekend since we moved in together than i havent met either friends or family of his. Now its christmas and there's dinners and parties i have to go to what the hell is wrong with me. Most people look forward to these kind of things and meeting new people. I dont mind meetting new people but on my own terms, when i can decide when to leave or if i want to go somewhere. I do have my own friends (although not in this town yet, but i know i will make friends eventually, i always manage to meet one or two friends wherever i am and im happy with this number even tho it mightnt seem like much to some) so im not the complete social outcast that this post probably makes me appear.

Is there anyone else that feels like this and how do you deal with it? How do others without this problem handle meeting in-laws etc...? Just would like some opinions and advice, thanks so much for reading

Victor

If your problem is impairing your life, it is just as valid as any other.

Can you talk to your boyfriend and explain that you are a private aren't used to meeting people so often. And the same time, perhaps you need to make small steps in coming out of that shell.

LegacyUser

He is probably trying to make you feel at home & thinks he is doing the right thing by setting up nights out with people. Why dont you tell him that while you like meeting his friends & family, you also like to spend time alone with him, and reach a compromise of every second weekend to get together with others.