Not walking into pubs by yourself

Funglegunk

My ex of a while back did this and I thought it was unique to her, but I've noticed some of my female friends doing it too:

Can any of the ladies explain to me why, if they are by yourselves, many of you ring or text me to come outside the pub, meet you and then escort you in rather than just walking in yourselves? Even if I've told you exactly where we are sitting and it's a pub you already know very well?

Silverfish

Funglegunk wrote: »

My ex of a while back did this and I thought it was unique to her, but I've noticed some of my female friends doing it too:

Can any of the ladies explain to me why, if they are by yourselves, many of you ring or text me to come outside the pub, meet you and then escort you in rather than just walking in yourselves? Even if I've told you exactly where we are sitting and it's a pub you already know very well?

I can safely state I have never rang you in my life to escort me into a pub.

Maybe its just the people you know.

Funglegunk

Funglegunk wrote: »

Can any of the ladies explain to me why, if they are by yourselves, many of you ring or text someone else to come outside the pub, meet you and then escort you in rather than just walking in yourselves? Even if they've told you exactly where they are sitting and it's a pub you already know very well?

There we go, FMP

krudler

I started a thread in ranting and raving about this a while back, it seems to be a uniquely Irish thing were people are afraid to look like a loner going somewhere by themselves, i have no issue with it, if someone is emotionally retarded enough to think someone on their own must be some billy no mates then thats their problem not mine, i go to the cinema by myself all the time at quiet times (cant stand crowds of people yakking and using phones) and have no issue sitting in a cafe having a coffee by myself, yet other people literally cant do anything on their own,and have to be met or escorted somewhere, if it was a packed pub the person had never been in before and didnt want to spend ages wandering around I'd happily meet them though

Fink Goddie

Maybe they feel insecure!
Personally i hate walking into nightclubs sober

cherryred

that's ridiculous, you should've told her no, you're enabling her dependancy otherwise. also it kinda makes you whipped. sorry!

Fink Goddie

cherryred wrote: »

that's ridiculous, you should've told her no, you're enabling her dependancy otherwise. also it kinda makes you whipped. sorry!

Or it makes him a gentleman!

Morgase

It used to frustrate me trying to find my pals in the pub - because my specs would fog up and if I took them off I couldn't see. Having said that I'd still wander around looking for them and chances were they would shout at me if they could see me.

I wouldn't do the whole "come outside and escort me in" thing even at that.

Now I have had laser surgery I no longer have the fogging up problem and can instantly find people

Warfi

cherryred wrote: »

that's ridiculous, you should've told her no, you're enabling her dependancy otherwise. also it kinda makes you whipped. sorry!

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Or it makes him a gentleman!

mmmmmm....whipped gentleman :pac:


I think walking into a pub on your own being a no-no is an Irish thing....you have to be surrounded by friends at all times, otherwise you're a loser. Even if you don't get on with the people you're with, it's still better to stay with them than do the loser thing of enjoying your life.

cherryred

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Or it makes him a gentleman!

Perhaps, but every single time?? Gentlemen act of their own free will. I would accept gentlemanly behaviour for meeting his friends for the first time for example but when its her telling him to come out (no option given) i think its different

Xiney

huh, I've never done that.

Then again, I don't currently live somewhere where pubs are big enough to not find someone in say, the first 5 minutes of looking.

mooman

cherryred wrote: »

that's ridiculous, you should've told her no, you're enabling her dependancy otherwise. also it kinda makes you whipped. sorry!

She needs an intervention

panda100

I keep a book in my bag at all times so that I always have something to do while Im waiting for someone.
I was waiting for a mate in the Portebello pub for half an hour last night so had a good read of Charlie Brookers new book. It was so enjoyable that I was hoping my friend wouldnt show up at all.

I love doing things by myself,especially the cinema. It does seem to be an Irish thing that people cant do things by themselves though,I have lots of friends like that.

Funglegunk

cherryred wrote: »

Perhaps, but every single time?? Gentlemen act of their own free will. I would accept gentlemanly behaviour for meeting his friends for the first time for example but when its her telling him to come out (no option given) i think its different

Between this and being called whipped, I feel like I have to defend myself here. :eek:

This is a female friend asking this, not every time we meet up but mostly in a particular pub and when it's crowded. And it's not phrased as if I have no other option, it's a simple request that I have no problem obliging and don't view it as some sort of affront to her or my independence.

I'm just wondering why it's requested in the first place.

fatmammycat

I don't do this or know anyone else who does either.

fatmammycat

Funglegunk wrote: »

Between this and being called whipped, I feel like I have to defend myself here. :eek:

This is a female friend asking this, not every time we meet up but mostly in a particular pub and when it's crowded. And it's not phrased as if I have no other option, it's a simple request that I have no problem obliging and don't view it as some sort of affront to her or my independence.

I'm just wondering why it's requested in the first place.

Why don't you ask her?

Funglegunk

fatmammycat wrote: »

Why don't you ask her?

I did and she mentioned not wanting to comb the pub looking for me, even though I told her exactly where I was sitting. I didn't push it and don't consider it a big deal, just curious why people do it.

Perhaps the 'unique Irish loneliness' from other posts above explains it?

dearg lady

i think Fink Goddie's right, it's laregly an insecurity thing.
It can be a bit intimidating at times, but I feel a bit sorry for anyone who's so dependent on others but we probably all have our 'kryptonite' situations that we hate dealing with!

fatmammycat

Funglegunk wrote: »

I did and she mentioned not wanting to comb the pub looking for me, even though I told her exactly where I was sitting. I didn't push it and don't consider it a big deal, just curious why people do it.

Perhaps the 'unique Irish loneliness' from other posts above explains it?

I don't think loneliness is an Irish trait. She sounds insecure to me.

Fago!

Ha I did that on Sat for the Boards Beers. I texted Pikachucheeks to come ghet me. Then I grew a pair and went in meself.

WindSock

It depends who you are meeting. If I am meeting friends, no bother. If I am meeting people I don't know too well it is nice to walk in with someone or know that a familiar is in there already.
For instance last week at a work christmas thing I was supposed to meet a small group of people in a pub beforehand, but that didn't happen. I ended up heading in on my tobler to the party which generally isn't a problem for me. This time however I felt a bit awkward. I was standing like billy no mates for a while and tried talking to people I sort of knew but I guess they sensed my awkwardness and didn't really engage. I felt a bit out of place and wanted to leave after 10 mins.

Mackleton

I have no problem with being on my own personally, ie. cinema, cafe, whatever, but I know a few girls who do. I think it's a confidence thing, some people find walking into a pub, especially a crowded one, quite daunting as girls especially can be scrutinized by people on their way in. Some girls like to have company for this walk in but I'm not bothered frankly.

Malari

Don't have a problem walking into a pub on my own, especially if I know friends are in there. I would sometimes text to make sure they are there, because a lot of my friends suffer from chronic lateness. Not that I mind walking in first and ordering a drink, but I could be there half an hour on my own!

Is this friend of yours very young OP? Sounds very insecure.

Malari

Mackleton wrote: »

...girls especially can be scrutinized by people on their way in.

Just an excuse to look fabulous in front of an audience :D

OksanaLV

I go ocassionally to the pub by myself and I dont feel awkward by it. Its quite normal back home in Latvia but here guys just stare at you. Last Friday I walked into my local pub near the city centre, was a bit busy and the only guy who chatted me up was a guy from India. We had a nice conversation and at the end of the night I gave him my number after he asking. We are meeting up this weekend.

Wibbs

Fago_25 wrote: »

Ha I did that on Sat for the Boards Beers. I texted Pikachucheeks to come ghet me. Then I grew a pair and went in meself.

yea well that's understandable in fairness for male or female. If you don't know anyone and are walking around looking for "people from the interweb" tm then yea a bit mad ted. I'll talk to anyone and generally don't give a second thought to stuff like that, but the first boards thing I went to was a bit daunting I have to say. It was a mods beers too. "Eh are you the nerds?" Thing is I went up to a table of people who looked like the dictionary definition of nerds and they were from "the internet" too. It took me halfway through my first pint to realise they weren't the right bunch(linux types IIRC). The boards mods looked normal :eek: so I'd walked right by them.

PopUp

fatmammycat wrote: »

I don't do this or know anyone else who does either.

Me either.

Lia_lia

Yeah I know people like that. They should grow up.

liah

Presumably they don't want to go in on their own because of the sort of "smalltown syndrome" that's common enough in Irish culture.. judgement and gossip and all that.

I often go to the pub on my own. People talk, but whatever, I'm there for the music and a pint, I don't need people around me to feel secure.

Funglegunk

Malari wrote: »

Is this friend of yours very young OP? Sounds very insecure.

I'm 24, she's a few years younger.

Mackleton wrote: »

I think it's a confidence thing, some people find walking into a pub, especially a crowded one, quite daunting as girls especially can be scrutinized by people on their way in. Some girls like to have company for this walk in but I'm not bothered frankly.

That's probably nailed it I think!

jellie

Maybe I did it when i was younger.. i dont remember doing it, but it sounds like something i mightve done when pubs were still new shiney things i wasnt sure about.

now, nope. if its somewhere mad busy ill text and ask where they are to save me battling the crowds but thats about it

chickenpoo

It depends, I'll do it if I'm not wearing my glasses/contacts and the pub is big or busy, otherwise I'll be wandering round like a gombeen for half an hour

Valmont

Go straight to the bar, order a drink, sit back, then scan the bar for your mates. I had a friend try the "come get me" thing last week. I said no and gave him very detailed directions to where we were not sitting as punishment.