unsure

scrubs

so guys..

with this girl 5 years and this years shes moved away for college to Dublin, things has changed since she left , we havent been talkin much as we use to and wen barely seen each other, we'd go days without talking at all, now shes always chatting to this fella on facebook,hes single and hes always saying how beautiful he is and he'd do anything to be with her.. and she seems to play along..

since she has started chatting with him she has been really off with me..

the thing is she doesnt know i know about her chatting with this guy, she left her facebook logged on and i noticed the private chat with this guy.. i havent logged into her facebook im not like that... but i dunno to tell i seen as she prob lose the rag at me..

am i making a big deal out of nothing?

Thanks in advance

Libertewhite

I'll say this now but it is a big deal, that fact that she's playing along with some other guy that's all over her.
But it could be that she is using him as an ego boost.
How did it come about that you saw her facebook account?

scrubs

she left her facebook account logged on in my computer and i heard a click and looked and seen the message sayin ' ur one of the best looking girls in the college;)' i was a bit pissed at this and looked bac over the convo( i know i shouldnt have) and it was on similary lines like ' u goin out tonite,hope to see ya ' and one sayin 'if im ever stuck for a bed would ya put me up '

Moomoo1

I think that if it pops up, then just tell her. You couldn't really help seeing it.

scrubs

ya but she wasnt there and i doubt she'll belive me if i say she left it on and i did go threw the convo which was over a few day.. but i think im just affraid that shes falling for this guy..

Libertewhite

Wow:eek:

It was a bit stupid of her to leave something so private on.
Ya poor guy! Was she flirting back and all?

Moomoo1

ok, another approach is ask her to go to a weekend away. See how she reacts.

scrubs

ya she kinda is, but at times it seems harmless but other times its not so harmless like wen hes gettin off she said things like ahh dont go .. and anytime im online i can tell if hes online cuz she doesnt really chat to me.... i really think i should say something but i dont want her to know i was on her facebook account...

scrubs

Moomoo1 wrote: »

ok, another approach is ask her to go to a weekend away. See how she reacts.

i know it sounds stupid but im not sure how that will help? i would love to tho but im after lossing my job and xmas is coming money is very tight

CDfm

OP - I dont get this as the whole concept of internet chatting was quite new to me a year ago.

However, reading replies elsewhere this is emotional cheating and you are sufferering. So if you would say something if you were out in a bar and she flirted maybe you should here too.

opinion guy

yet more evidence that facebook is evil....


anyhow Op what I find most informing about your post is:

but i dunno to tell i seen as she prob lose the rag at me...

Why do you say this ? If it was an honest accident that you found it why would she lose the rag with you ?

Libertewhite

She doesn't deserve to be treated to a weekend away.

OP I honestly think you deserve better.
Shes playing with emotions here...yours! It was a good thing you found this out. She obviously doesn't care about you, or she would not be reacting to the guys comments.

scrubs

opinion guy wrote: »

yet more evidence that facebook is evil....


anyhow Op what I find most informing about your post is:


Why do you say this ? If it was an honest accident that you found it why would she lose the rag with you ?

facebook sure is evil, i think if i was too tell her i seen coment from another fella on her facebook she would start saying i was hackin her profile, because i dont think if i told i seen it by accident she would belive me, i had a choice not to read and i did and that is a invasion of her privacy...

i think i should just sit her down and ask her does she still love me, and ak would she ever cheat on me and work it from there... but im a bit affraid of wat her anwser might be

opinion guy

scrubs wrote: »

facebook sure is evil, i think if i was too tell her i seen coment from another fella on her facebook she would start saying i was hackin her profile,

So you pre-empt it with look it happened like this. You tell the truth - up to her to believe you or not

because i dont think if i told i seen it by accident she would belive me,

and that right there is why I asked the question. Seems like you guys have trust issues. You don't entirely trust her to be faithful and she wouldn't trust you to tell the truth it would seem from what you've told us. It seems this is the real issue here, no ?

i had a choice not to read and i did and that is a invasion of her privacy...

True. so you own up to that ahead of time. But why did you chose to read so ? Again, trust an issue ?

i think i should just sit her down and ask her does she still love me, and ak would she ever cheat on me and work it from there... but im a bit affraid of wat her anwser might be

Hmmm but that wouldn't really alleviate your doubts would it ? I mean if she said I love you and would never cheat on you - would you believe her since you apparently don't trust her now? If you are going to bring up the issue you might as well confront it directly. Yes it might mean a big row, and maybe even mean breaking up, but its better than brushing things under the carpet only to come up again later. Don't you think ?

Moomoo1

scrubs wrote: »

i know it sounds stupid but im not sure how that will help? i would love to tho but im after lossing my job and xmas is coming money is very tight

1) because part of the problem might be the physical distance between you two?

2) because you would be doing something decisive and taking the lead?

but if money is tight, I guess that's not an option. I'd just ask her to explain the thing that popped up on your computer, and see how she reacts. From the initial reaction you'd be able to tell. You wouldn't even need to tell her about the rest of the convo.