Hey

LegacyUser

Well guys, going unreg for this one. Probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but here goes. Last night me and my bf were watching TV when some fella proposed to his girlfriend. I then proceeded to tell my bf a story which I thought was sweet about a girl I used to work with. Her fiancee lit loads of candles for when she was coming home and had "will you marry me" spelt out on the carpet in Rose petals. My bf's reply was to snigger and say Ha, I hope it stays fine for you sweetheart. I wasn't one bit impressed by this I felt as if he was saying yeah if you think i'd ever do anything like that you must be joking. Am I been a princess or does anyone else think it was a nasty thing to say, I asked him to explain what he meant by that and he wouldn't.

Guys what do you think???

All opinions welcome (Be kind)

ash23

Yousaidwhat??? wrote: »

Well guys, going unreg for this one. Probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but here goes. Last night me and my bf were watching TV when some fella proposed to his girlfriend. I then proceeded to tell my bf a story which I thought was sweet about a girl I used to work with. Her fiancee lit loads of candles for when she was coming home and had "will you marry me" spelt out on the carpet in Rose petals. My bf's reply was to snigger and say Ha, I hope it stays fine for you sweetheart. I wasn't one bit impressed by this I felt as if he was saying yeah if you think i'd ever do anything like that you must be joking. Am I been a princess or does anyone else think it was a nasty thing to say, I asked him to explain what he meant by that and he wouldn't.

Guys what do you think???

All opinions welcome (Be kind)

It depends on a lot of things.
How long have you been together for a start?
If it's been a few months then I can understand his reaction (panic probably). If you've been together a while and have discussed getting married etc then it was a bit rude.

Also, what type of person is he? I would puke at the story you told. I'm not a romantic person and would be mortified if a guy did that. I think it's cheesy and not a lot of thought went into it.
C'est moi.
Perhaps he's the same and just meant he would never propose in such a corny way.

He could have been a bit more tactful but to be honest, you I think you're reading too much into it.

K_P

I think you're reading a bit too much into it. I'd take it to mean, he'd hope the girl you used to work with doesn't get used to those kinds of grand gestures and overly-romantic things.

I don't think the comment was directed towards you OP and the reason he didn't explain his comment is that there isn't much to explain. It goes without saying though that if that's how he feels about such a proposal, you can be fairly sure he won't be doing anything similar.

Barracudaincork

Yousaidwhat??? wrote: »

My bf's reply was to snigger and say Ha, I hope it stays fine for you sweetheart.

Two reasons he could of said this:

1. He thinks this is romantic BS and something he wont be doing or even thinking of doing and finds the whole thing stupid.

2. Well he isnt going to let you know he plans an equally romantic proposal so throws the scent off him by scoffing at this.

Either way, i do think its bizarre you would classify this as a nasty thing to say, which to me indicates your relationship must be fairly chilled out and respectful if this is your idea of nasty so maybe you should focus on that fact and dont worry that a man doesnt find something as romantic as a girl would.

LegacyUser

ash23 wrote: »

It depends on a lot of things.
How long have you been together for a start?
If it's been a few months then I can understand his reaction (panic probably). If you've been together a while and have discussed getting married etc then it was a bit rude.

Also, what type of person is he? I would puke at the story you told. I'm not a romantic person and would be mortified if a guy did that. I think it's cheesy and not a lot of thought went into it.
C'est moi.
Perhaps he's the same and just meant he would never propose in such a corny way.

He could have been a bit more tactful but to be honest, you I think you're reading too much into it.

Hey Ash,

We're together 2 years. No we haven't discussed marriage and I wouldn't expect him to do something like that. But I would have preferred he said nothing than said anything. The gas thing is he's done the whole sending 2 dozen roses to my workplace on Valentines Day thing, well our first Valentines anyways. He uses that expression sometimes and it basically means good luck with that. He then told me I don't live in the real world and asked me did I have romantic notions.

seamus

K_P wrote: »

I think you're reading a bit too much into it. I'd take it to mean, he'd hope the girl you used to work with doesn't get used to those kinds of grand gestures and overly-romantic things.

This seems to make the most sense. I actually can't figure out what exactly "Ha, I hope it stays fine for you sweetheart" is supposed to mean. The above seems to make the most sense.

Just for future reference, when you discuss the proposal or wedding of someone that he doesn't care about, such as a co-worker of yours, he thinks that you're dropping hints. Otherwise, why else would you tell him a story that doesn't interest him in the slightest? Whatever his actual intentions, he probably won't reveal anything and will either see it as you putting pressure on him, or you trying to guess what he's going to do.

Eve_Dublin

ash23 wrote: »

It depends on a lot of things.
How long have you been together for a start?
If it's been a few months then I can understand his reaction (panic probably). If you've been together a while and have discussed getting married etc then it was a bit rude.

Also, what type of person is he? I would puke at the story you told. I'm not a romantic person and would be mortified if a guy did that. I think it's cheesy and not a lot of thought went into it.
C'est moi.
Perhaps he's the same and just meant he would never propose in such a corny way.

Agreed.I'm a romantic person but if someone proposed in the way you mentioned above, I'd probably consider dumping him and suspect they were a closet Dawson's Creek fanatic. Seriously. Barf! OP I don't know one man in the whole wide world who would think that story was in any way sweet or romantic. I think he reacted like any man with a sense of humour would. I know few women who would think that was romantic either. If you told me that story (take into account I like romance), I'd laugh.

Don't take his comment so seriously. He cracked a joke. Laugh it off.

LegacyUser

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Agreed.I'm a romantic person but if someone proposed in the way you mentioned above, I'd probably consider dumping him and suspect they were a closet Dawson's Creek fanatic. Seriously. Barf! OP I don't know one man in the whole wide world who would think that story was in any way sweet or romantic. I think he reacted like any man with a sense of humour would. I know few women who would think that was romantic either. If you told me that story (take into account I like romance), I'd laugh.

Don't take his comment so seriously. He cracked a joke. Laugh it off.

Yeah maybe you're right perhaps I should text him, we're not talking. Ha maybe my hormones have finally got the better of me

LegacyUser

seamus wrote: »

This seems to make the most sense. I actually can't figure out what exactly "Ha, I hope it stays fine for you sweetheart" is supposed to mean. The above seems to make the most sense.

Just for future reference, when you discuss the proposal or wedding of someone that he doesn't care about, such as a co-worker of yours, he thinks that you're dropping hints. Otherwise, why else would you tell him a story that doesn't interest him in the slightest? Whatever his actual intentions, he probably won't reveal anything and will either see it as you putting pressure on him, or you trying to guess what he's going to do.

It basically means, good luck with that sweetheart. I have never even suggested getting engaged far too early for me personally. He's the one thats all lets buy a house together etc etc.

John Mason

If my OH proposed to me that way, i would not be impressed and would spend the time thinking, who in gods name is going to clean up those petals and if any of them have stained my carpet, i am going to kill him.

you bf probably just has a bit more cope on then to do something which is so vomit inducing.

I think you are completely over reacting

Eve_Dublin

This proposal suggests the following:

Lack of imagination
Insincerity
Lack of originality
Serious lack of irony or sense of humour
Possible closet gay
Addiction to cheesy Hollywood Rom-Coms and teen telly dramas.


Don't make a big deal over something so small, OP. Save your energy and your wrath for bigger issues.

John Mason

Yousaidwhat??? wrote: »

Yeah maybe you're right perhaps I should text him, we're not talking. Ha maybe my hormones have finally got the better of me

sorry, you are not talking to him about a throw away comment like that :eek:

when you told him that story, we you expecting him to take the hint and propose to you like that ?


i really dont understand why are you are not talking to him. do you a Tempestuous relationship ?

LegacyUser

irishbird wrote: »

sorry, you are not talking to him about a throw away comment like that :eek:

when you told him that story, we you expecting him to take the hint and propose to you like that ?


i really dont understand why are you are not talking to him. do you a Tempestuous relationship ?

You obviously didn't read my other posts, he was the one who is all commitment this and commitment that. I'm not talking to him for various other reasons but I did overeact over this perhaps because he's been driving me crazy lately.

Victor

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

This proposal suggests the following:

Lack of imagination
Insincerity
Lack of originality
Serious lack of irony or sense of humour
Possible closet gay
Addiction to cheesy Hollywood Rom-Coms and teen telly dramas.


Don't make a big deal over something so small, OP. Save your energy and your wrath for bigger issues.

Keep it constructive. And a bit more tact wouldn't go astray.

Eve_Dublin

Victor wrote: »

Keep it constructive. And a bit more tact wouldn't go astray.

Sorry...hope I didn't offfend you OP. If someone actually did this in reality, I'd probably be delighted...

LegacyUser

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Sorry...hope I didn't offfend you OP. If someone actually did this in reality, I'd probably be delighted...

Ha, do I detect sarcasm. You didn't offend me

MissHoneyBun

A classic case of "It's not what you say, but how you say it". Clearly the OP thought this was a sweet story and whether she was simply making conversation or dropping hints remains to be seen. However, regardless of her intentions I do think her boyfriend could have made his feelings on the issue known in a more tactful way.

His sarky response was unwarranted in fairness and whereas he's fully entitled to be repulsed at the idea of a soppy proposal, clearly his other half is not. In which case, he could have had simply said "That wouldn't be how I'd do things" as opposed to a snappy, sarcastic response which was quite dismissive and belittling of his girlfriend's feelings.

It's definitely not worth not talking over though OP, perhaps just ask him to be a little more considerate next time and leave it at that.

Danniboo

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

A classic case of "It's not what you say, but how you say it". Clearly the OP thought this was a sweet story and whether she was simply making conversation or dropping hints remains to be seen. However, regardless of her intentions I do think her boyfriend could have made his feelings on the issue known in a more tactful way.

His sarky response was unwarranted in fairness and whereas he's fully entitled to be repulsed at the idea of a soppy proposal, clearly his other half is not. In which case, he could have had simply said "That wouldn't be how I'd do things" as opposed to a snappy, sarcastic response which was quite dismissive and belittling of his girlfriend's feelings.

It's definitely not worth not talking over though OP, perhaps just ask him to be a little more considerate next time and leave it at that.

You're right I did overreact but to be fair I think it was more a case of the straw that broke the camels back. He had been getting on my nerves about other stuff. Anyways we kissed and made up so no biggy, but you're right tact is not his strong point.

How Strange

OP, I think you are being a wee bit of a princess and you did over react.

From your bf's point of view, it may have seemed that you were dropping hints. His response may not have been the most sensitive or enlightened but he perhaps was feeling a little penned in.

My OH (we're getting married in Feb) made similar comments on a few occasions when I mentioned friends had gotten engaged. Yes, it annoyed me but I said nothing because making a big deal out of it only makes you look a little hysterical.

Talking about marriage before both of you are ready ito talk about it is a sensitive topic.

IMO, there is a huge difference for a man between buying a house and getting married. I don't really understand it but I know lots of men who willingly do the former but took years to do the latter.