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Fear of Abandonment

  • 13-12-2009 7:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone. Going to cut to the chase here.

    I feel in love with a girl months ago. She has a boyfreind, we havent crossed the line although we hang out a lot.

    I think about her 24/7. I dream about her. I obsess about her.

    After absolute despair, sadness and depression (don't underestimate that, suicidal thoughts and all), I think I have fear of abandonment.

    I have a good few freinds, I don't think I have any close ones...
    I have no one to talk to and I'm just throwing this out there to see if anyone has been through this before. I want to end it now, I want to defeat it and I want to be able to love someone, even if its not this particullar girl. I will only carry this if I dont lose it.

    Last week I was feeling down and suicidal and I looked like a ****ing zombie. I applied for counselling in college but it will be another week till I get talking to someone. Writing this, Im over the moon compared to usual. I have identified my issues, but they always take over in the end....

    Anyone been though this? I don't want to waste peoples time. If you reply I will probably chase you down with questions etc, lol :(


Comments

  • #2
    extrinzic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 141 ✭✭extrinzic


    If you are still in school, I would say your feelings are quite common, not to say that everyone experiences this. You will get over this, it's just hormonal stuff that we experience growing up.

    If you are older, I would say you are a late developer, or you need to cop on and get on with your life. Fear of abandonment, that's like the quintessential issue. I mean, psychologists, poets, philosophers, you name it, everybody is fcuking terrified at some level of being abandoned. Deal with it. You are projecting it onto this person you don't really know, who has a whole life that you know practically nothing about. You can't love her in any other way but some shallow, self absorbed, idealistic, romanticised, made up, muse. Stop telling yourself that this girl is somehow responsible for your happiness, and get on with your life, or get help, and then get on with your life.


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