In the Cellar - Beruthiel

Tom Dunne

Good Evening and Welcome to the next instalment of In The Cellar.

One of the many criticisms levelled BGRH is that we are somewhat biased against the wimmins. With that in mind, we decided that it was only fair that we interview one of the more prolific wimmins on Boards.ie. I should point out, however, that I would not actually call her a wimmins were it not for the fact there are about 1,000 miles of deep ocean and sandy deserts between us.

Threats to my physical wellbeing aside, we turn to a lady who is the epitome of class. Not that she has ever been called a lady. Nor, for that matter, has she ever been called classy. But I digress.

She is well known to all as a woman full of maternal instincts, yet in a heartbeat can crush a spammer with the click of a mouse (as soon as she figures out which mouse button to press). She is someone who enjoys the finer things in life, wine not being one of them, and is somebody who you would never like to be on the wrong side of.

I refer, of course, to Thaedydal.

However, as Thaedydal couldn't make this session, Beruthiel has kindly agreed to step in at short notice.

So, Ruthie, I have carefully prepared the following questions for you:

1: Bacon or ham?

2: There have been scurrilous roumours about you drinking a certain vintage of wine that has a both a religious and a blue tint to it, would you care to dispel these rumours?

3: If you had to choose three things to bring with you as you were stranded on a desert island, what would they be?*



*Note your answers may not include the following: smashey, Blue Nun, French People.

Zaph

As you are Boards resident oenologist, all my questions shall be wine related:

Is it true that Blue Nun is a gateway wine that leads people onto the harder stuff, such as Black Tower?

Where do you stand on the issue of Mateus Rose - a cheeky little Portuguese number that goes well with a nice ripe brie on a picnic, or poncey and overhyped?

When having guests around for dinner is it ok to serve them Jacob's Creek, or should you splash out for the good stuff like Blossom Hill?

Beruthiel

Tom Dunne wrote: »

1: Bacon or ham?

Both.
When you cannot choose, a manage a trois is the only option.

2: There have been scurrilous roumours about you drinking a certain vintage of wine that has a both a religious and a blue tint to it, would you care to dispel these rumours?

As you very well know, YOU started that rumour Mr. Dunne. Probably due to jealously on your part. Not everyone can be as sophisticated as moi.

3: If you had to choose three things to bring with you as you were stranded on a desert island, what would they be?*

A vat of Chateau Margaux, Vintage 1985, rumoured to be one of their best years.

Cured meats to go with it.

And Antonio to help pass the time....

Zaph wrote:

Is it true that Blue Nun is a gateway wine that leads people onto the harder stuff, such as Black Tower?

Only if you are a homeless wino.

Where do you stand on the issue of Mateus Rose - a cheeky little Portuguese number that goes well with a nice ripe brie on a picnic, or poncey and overhyped?

Sorry. Don't understand your question.

When having guests around for dinner is it ok to serve them Jacob's Creek, or should you splash out for the good stuff like Blossom Hill?

If your hated mother in law is coming to visit then you would give her either.

Anyone else and you would surely make the effort to purchase an old world wine of a good vintage, no?

trout

1. What wine would you recommend for a meal of kebabs ?
2. Apart from Red and Green ... what is yore favourite primary colour ?
3. In yore opinion, is James Belushi funny anymore ?
4. Can you fill in the blank (XXX) in this famous line from Wordsworth ? "The holy time is quiet as a XXX Breathless with adoration"
5. What think ye of the three vows of poverty, chastity and obedience ?
6. Which is the nicer cheese, Gorgonzola the famous blue-veined cheese of Italy ... or Irish Cashel, the famous blue-veined cheese of, well, Cashel ?
7. Finally, can you tell us what kind of meat the Pope eats ?

Beruthiel

trout wrote: »

What wine would you recommend for a meal of kebabs ?

I wouldn't!

Apart from Red and Green ... what is yore favourite primary colour ?

Oh, sooo many to choose from. How about... blue?

In yore opinion, is James Belushi funny anymore ?

He was funny in something else besides the Blues Brothers?

Can you fill in the blank (XXX) in this famous line from Wordsworth ? "The holy time is quiet as a XXX Breathless with adoration"

LOL.
Had to google that one.

What think ye of the three vows of poverty, chastity and obedience ?

They don't float my boat.

Which is the nicer cheese, Gorgonzola the famous blue-veined cheese of Italy ... or Irish Cashel, the famous blue-veined cheese of, well, Cashel ?

My personal favourite is actually Bellingham Blue Cheese.

Finally, can you tell us what kind of meat the Pope eats ?

Babies.
Liquidised due to him not having any teeth.

trout

Beruthiel wrote: »

Babies.
Liquidised due to him not having any teeth.

I'm afraid the answer we were looking for is in fact ... Nun

Beruthiel

There are right and wrong answers?

trout

Beruthiel wrote: »

There are right and wrong answers?

Maybe. Ay-up. Unh-huhn. Yip. Perhaps.

It's hard to say.

Victor

Zaph wrote: »

As you are Boards resident oenologist

Is this someone who goes around saying "Oh noooo!"?

LostinBlanch

I was going to ask who let trout out, but he's down there with you.

So, has he tried to get you to wear his gimp mask yet?

Or an apron?

Splinter

I shall dabble at this:

1. why is it you scare me so?

2. what colour theme do you use on boards?

3. I hate red wine, and therefore while out over dinner i tend to ruin it by either having white or a pint, have you a recommendation for me that could help me widen my tastebuds so to speak?

trout

Beruthiel wrote: »

He was funny in something else besides the Blues Brothers?

That was John Belushi, older brother of James.

*tut tuts*

James was in such stellar movies as K-9, Filofax, and the bloody awful Curly Sue which was on at the weekend, and promped the question.

*tut tut tuts*

Tom Dunne

Splinter wrote: »

2. what colour theme do you use on boards?

Blue, of course.

Splinter wrote: »

3. I hate red wine, and therefore while out over dinner i tend to ruin it by either having white or a pint, have you a recommendation for me that could help me widen my tastebuds so to speak?

See answer above.

Gaspode

So, imagine if you will; you're still stuck on the aforementioned desert island, when 3 handsome men and true arrive by boat, apparently looking for Dusseldorf. Antonio, the swine, sees his chance and buggers off on the boat taking the last of the wine and cured meats with him and leaving you with stranded with Tom Dunne, Zaph and Trout.
Who would you chose to cook & clean for you?
Who would you choose to do the hunting and gathering?
And who would be your mate in a brave attempt to populate this paradise island of Moderatia?

Beruthiel

LostinBlanch wrote: »

I was going to ask who let trout out, but he's down there with you.

So, has he tried to get you to wear his gimp mask yet?

Surely everyone knows that it's actually trout wearing the gimp mask.
At the moment, he's sleeping.....

splinter wrote:

why is it you scare me so?

Intimacy issues?

what colour theme do you use on boards?

Minimalist

I hate red wine, and therefore while out over dinner i tend to ruin it by either having white or a pint, have you a recommendation for me that could help me widen my tastebuds so to speak?

Marquis de Riscal rioja reserva, or if you are loaded, Chateau Margaux.

trout wrote:

That was John Belushi, older brother of James

James, John, tométo, tomato.

Antonio, the swine, sees his chance and buggers off on the boat taking the last of the wine and cured meats with him

Well, we would have to then assume that he was able to get out of his ropes and chains, but sure less suspend belief for a moment...

leaving you with stranded with Tom Dunne, Zaph and Trout.
Who would you chose to cook & clean for you?

Mr Dunne cooked a BBQ for me once and I survived it, thus he seems the best bet.

Who would you choose to do the hunting and gathering?

Zaph and Trout are the only ones left, so them.

And who would be your mate in a brave attempt to populate this paradise island of Moderatia?

I saw a pretty cute banana tree back behind the cave over there ---->

LostinBlanch

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Blue, of course.



See answer above.

Splinter, Tom may actually be onto something there.

Victor

Beruthiel wrote: »

I saw a pretty cute banana tree back behind the cave over there ---->

Good or bad, banana trees are sterile.

trout

Victor wrote: »

Good or bad, banana trees are sterile.

Wow ... every day is a school day

Beruthiel

Victor wrote: »

Good or bad, banana trees are sterile.

What you call sterile, I call a challenge.

P.C.

What is the best accompaniment to a beer?

Beruthiel

A summers day?

I really wouldn't know.
I haven't touched beer since that time I overdosed and spent three days dying....

Tom Dunne

Over the past number of years, Beruthiel, I think it would be no exaggeration to say that you have had a very colourful career here on Boards.ie. Never one to shy away from the tough decisions, yet always there to provide a comforting word to those in need. A sort of Ying and Yang of compassion and authority, if you will. I put it to you, therefore, that by bearing your soul to us here on BGRH, that there is one pertinent question that is begging to be asked, yet nobody appears to have the neck to ask it.

Apart from me, that is.

Therefore, Beruthiel, I ask you - and I expect, nay demand, an honest answer, will you be having Blue Nun with the Turkey this year?

smashey

Well played Beruthiel.

I have a few questions.

At what point could one graduate from blue nun and try nicer wines like Liebfraumilch?

Given the obvious connections between wine and sherry, are you looking forward to that day in the near future when you can sit back at home with the tartan blanket over your knees while sipping a glass of sherry?

Wine in cans has to be the best thing since wine in boxes. Discuss.

Finally, do you look back fondly on the days when Tom Dunne wasn't an Admin and we could mess around with his name?

OldGoat

Spit or swollow?






What?
Oh come on.
It's a wine question!
Honestly, you people.
Gutter-minded.

Nevyn

How did you find boards.ie?
Where you already a gamer?
What was the first modship you were granted?
Any top tips for those of us who marvel at your wonderful relationship with your toy boy?
What has been the best/worst thing about being a mother?
Do you think the site has changed much?
Do you see a change in attitudes over the year in PI?
Given your avid intrest in the surfing forum, have you been up on a board yet?
What type of music gets yer feet tapping and what is the song which will always get you to sing along?
Do you still rue the day you meet Tom Dunne?

Slidey

Is there any truth to the rumour that you learnt how to drive with a Massey Ferguson 135?

Rabies

If you could change one thing about Boards, what would it be?

What forum would you like to mod (ignore your admin status)?

When in bed, do you prefer to be on the top or bottom ..... bunk bed?

Poor Uncle Tom

Beruthiel wrote: »

What you call sterile, I call a challenge.

:D

must be quote of the year...

Beruthiel

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Therefore, Beruthiel, I ask you - and I expect, nay demand, an honest answer, will you be having Blue Nun with the Turkey this year?

Duck.
And it will be a saint emilion grand cru...

smashey wrote:

At what point could one graduate from blue nun and try nicer wines like Liebfraumilch?

Ask Tom Dunne, he's the man in the know when it comes to antifreeze.

Given the obvious connections between wine and sherry, are you looking forward to that day in the near future when you can sit back at home with the tartan blanket over your knees while sipping a glass of sherry?

Looking forward?
I'm already doing that!
('cept for the sherry bit, one has to sip that stuff and I'm not a sipping kinda gal)

Wine in cans has to be the best thing since wine in boxes. Discuss.

Funny you should mention that, my bloke couldn't believe it when he saw a can of wine for sale in Tescos. He had to buy it.
Last Saturday, after 3.5 bottles of real wine, he. drank. it.
Quelle horror!! :eek:

Finally, do you look back fondly on the days when Tom Dunne wasn't an Admin and we could mess around with his name?

Aye.
Though I've upgraded my torture to real life now, so best of luck there Tom when you go looking for your wine collection under the stairs...

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

How did you find boards.ie?

Gandalf posted a link to Boards on another website.
I clicked and was hooked.

Where you already a gamer?

Had played Zelda on the N64, does that count?

What was the first modship you were granted?

PI

Any top tips for those of us who marvel at your wonderful relationship with your toy boy?

Wonderful relationship?
The poor honey lives in fear of me.

What has been the best/worst thing about being a mother?

Worst - giving birth.
Best - having a multi player partner on the xbox.

Do you think the site has changed much?

Does a bear sh!t in the woods?

Do you see a change in attitudes over the year in PI?

Haven't been reading it as much as I used to. It seems to be much of a muchness.

Given your avid intrest in the surfing forum, have you been up on a board yet?

Only way I'm getting up on a surf board is if there is a hot bloke already on it...

What type of music gets yer feet tapping and what is the song which will always get you to sing along?

Anything from Metallica, Enter Sandman will have me singing my lungs out.

Do you still rue the day you meet Tom Dunne?

All I can say is, I must have been really bad in a past life.

slidey wrote:

Is there any truth to the rumour that you learnt how to drive with a Massey Ferguson 135?

:eek:
You know why that is scarey slidey?
Cos I learned to drive on a tractor in the field behind our house.

Rabies wrote:

If you could change one thing about Boards, what would it be?

I'd rather not have to bite my tongue so much.

What forum would you like to mod (ignore your admin status)?

The Admin forum.
They're a rowdy bunch and I feel I could keep them in line....

When in bed, do you prefer to be on the top or bottom ..... bunk bed?

Bottom. Knowing me, I'd roll over and fall out.

OldGoat wrote:

Spit or swollow?

Spit good wine out?!
Sacrilege.

star-pants

Do you like hugs?

Are you a fan of dinosaurs?

Describe your favourite sandwich (in BGRH style of course :P )

Beruthiel

star-pants wrote: »

Do you like hugs?

They are acceptable.

Are you a fan of dinosaurs?

T Rex is cool. But I wouldn't want to be within a 100 mile radius of one.

Describe your favourite sandwich (in BGRH style of course :P )

Simply nothing on this planet beats a well made croque monsieur.

trout

star-pants wrote: »

Do you like hugs?

Beruthiel wrote: »

They are acceptable.

*visions of star-pants & Beruthiel hugging ... ahhhhh*

BGRH Service Announcement

trout has gone to a delightful new happy place, and judging by the smile on his chubby little face, he will not be back for some time. Just before he drifted off, trout muttered something about new dance partners bearing gifts of dark rum, or possibly blue nuns ... or something ... his last intelligible words (well) were along the lines of "go right ahead ladies, I'll gladly sit this dance out"

Beruthiel

Freak.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Who's your favourite AH Mod?

Beruthiel

Conrad Lemon Metropolis wrote: »

Who's your favourite AH Mod?

Pick your favourite answer from one of the below:

I love you all equally.

I hate you all equally.

Meh.

A what now?

Dr. B. (hahaaa, that'll learn ya!)

4zn76tysfajdxp

Beruthiel wrote: »

Pick your favourite answer from one of the below:

I love you all equally.

I hate you all equally.

Meh.

A what now?

Dr. B. (hahaaa, that'll learn ya!)

I'll pick the third one since I'm most familiar with that answer. Also, the last one.

The Recliner

Given your all powerful Adminness

Whose username would you most like to mess with and what would you do to it?
*given that Tom Dunne is now off the menu*

Given that you have seen off nearly allcomers at this stage what could possibly make you leave boards?

Beruthiel

The Recliner wrote: »

given that Tom Dunne is now off the menu

Tom Dunne is not off the menu.
I'm just waiting till he gets on the plane, I'll have hours to play with while he's up in the air.
*waves at Tom*
Bon Voyage.

Given that you have seen off nearly allcomers at this stage what could possibly make you leave boards?

Winning the lotto.
I'll be too busy sitting by the pool at my villa in the south of France, watching Armand (the pool boy/house servant) serve me cocktails.
Any day now....

Tom Dunne

Beruthiel wrote: »

Tom Dunne is not off the menu.
I'm just waiting till he gets on the plane, I'll have hours to play with while he's up in the air.
*waves at Tom*
Bon Voyage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY7Hh5PzELo

Beruthiel

Whatever that is Mr. Dunne, it's blocked at work.

Tom Dunne

Beruthiel wrote: »

Whatever that is Mr. Dunne, it's blocked at work.

Oh, the huge ironing.

Beruthiel

China town.

The Recliner

Beruthiel wrote: »

Whatever that is Mr. Dunne, it's blocked at work.

So Beruthiel can't see this, interesting

Nevyn

Beruthiel wrote: »

China town.

As in the movie or as in the porno which was made in Californication?
Are you the Daisy to Tom Dunne's Runkle?

Beruthiel

As in, he's goin' down, down to china town.

Nevyn

"china town" well that's a new euphemism to me, but it takes all sorts and all types.

When will we see a display of your etchings and oil paintings?

Beruthiel

[mae west]When you come up and see me sometime[/mae west]

The Recliner

Beruthiel wrote: »

[mae west]When you come up and see me sometime[/mae west]

Is that an invite? Score!

Mr.Applepie

Who do you prefer Tom Dunne or Trout?

Also if you had to make an item of clothing out of bacon what would be?

Beruthiel

Mr.Applepie wrote: »

Who do you prefer Tom Dunne or Trout?

Tom Dunne is old and leathery where as trout is a fish, no?
So trout grilled for a few minutes, served with a slice of lemon and maybe some baby potatoes and mange tout.
Washed down with a nice chianti of course.

Also if you had to make an item of clothing out of bacon what would be?

A scarf.
Easy to nibble from.