Reigniting the fires

LegacyUser

Hi. I'm a long time poster, going anon.

I have been with my girlfriend for coming up to 10 years now. As you probably can guess from the thread things have ... fizzled. On both our sides.

I'm looking for ways to reignite things and shake up the day to day ordinaryness of it. We just come home from work, watch TV ,go to sleep. I love her madly and I do still fancy her like mad, I'm just ... lazy really. Or maybe just restless. I think we've both gotten awkward about it now so I wan to shake it up.

All advice appreciated guys!

Fiend-Foe

Romantic getaway? Roleplay?

Surprise her with a romantic dinner at home, wine, candles, maybe a bubble bath. Buy her some nice lingerie so she feels sexy, tell her how sexy she is. Errrrrrm your right, this isn't easy...

Ladies? Help?

LegacyUser

Why don't you propose? Ten years is too long to be together without moving past the boyfriend stage, time to pop the question, you are together long enough at this stage. Why are you together so long and haven't thought of it?

dublingal80

I think definitely surprise her anyway. Girls LOVE it!!!

try and get home early one day, light candles in the bedroom and sitting room and hall, have flowers wwaiting for her, cook her her favourite meal and have strawberries upstairs waiting and some new underwear as a gift.

or say to her on a friday when she gets to work, not to leave work, that you are collecting her for a surprise night away, and pack some of her clothes and bring her to a nice hotel for the night.

Or in bed, try and talk about fantasies and see if there are any that you can bring into your sex life such as role play, dress up etc

LegacyUser

thats pretty good actually Fiend Foe from a girls point of view! This looks like definite laziness on the OPs part so a bit of effort in the form of a romantic dinner, lingerie and perhaps a massage should do the trick, ban the tv and put on some music, sometimes a girl needs to be told shes loved and shes sexy and you find her attractive so dont forget to say it. She'll think u take her for granted. how about suggesting a 'date night' where once a week ye take turns to make dinner for the other, have a glass of wine and sit down at the table with some music on and the tv off and chat and bet it ends up in bed! so easy to get drawn into the monotonus daily life so dont blame yourself! very nice that you can see the issue and want to resolve it...

dubdcugirly

There's a million and one things you can do but I suppose its just as important you don't go into overkill!

I think the first thing thats great is that you want to do this and that is great! I think there's two sides the sex side and the everything else side. So for the everything else side I agree with the above get away for the weekend or plan a nice day out. My OH lives abroad (coming home tonight YAY!) and we're planning to have breakfast in bed, come into town, be at BTs on the hour when the snow falls, buy each other something small, go Ice Skating, then for cocktails in the westbury and home to watch Xfactor and I'm cooking him a meal! (we are going out tonight hence why we are stayin in!) There are loads of things to do and I know you've been together 10 years so days like Glendalough etc etc may be exhausted but sometimes going back to place where you had good days can re-ignite things as much as new places can.

As for the sex side of things, I think if you've been together for 10 years the sex is obviously not bad but maybe monotonous...I would think first step is buying her something nice to wear and leave it out for her as a surprise (maybe this is what you could buy her if you do a day like me and the OH)!! Then make sure you are in tip top shape, put some wine on Ice a few candles soppy movie or meal and best of all dont do the deed for ageeeessss! I think the problem with monotonous sexual relationships as you know what each other like too much so you's aren't bothered finding anything new so I think take some time, maybe a massage with some nice creams and wholla. I think one night could put you back on the road and then things will stay fresh for awhile!

Enjoy!!

modest_marie

Maybe cook her a meal and get into a suit and surprise her some evening with Candles and Flowers. Spend the evening telling her and reminding her what it is you love about her. Talk about the old days and how much fun ye used to have and all the silly thing's ye've done.

Maybe don't come on too strong. I think a night like the above would be lovely, and a nice way for you both to realise that ye've been missing together time. Remind her how you feel, and it doesn't mean you're looking for something in return. You know?

It's tough in a long relationship after rows sometimes and stresses of everyday life. We forget all the magical things about the Person we love.

Try doing something you know she would like, and spending time talking about you too. This should set you on the right track for putting the glint back in your eyes.

Good luck...

dublingal80

get flowers delivered to her job......... just because

dubdcugirly

dublingal80 wrote: »

get flowers delivered to her job......... just because

+100

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks guys. Definitely laziness on my part. I'm 100% admitting that again, but also on her part. Then it becomes a thing, then you get used to it, then its a rut.

Some really good ideas (done the flowers thing et al before, and will again). Need to shake myself up!

On the upside I am really mad about her so it's not a bad thing at all! Keep them rolling in!

modest_marie

dublingal80 wrote: »

get flowers delivered to her job......... just because

+1000

SarahSassy

Yeah surprise her... Nice meal, her favourite wine, a small gift e.g. a voucher for a manicure or something. Just something to make her feel special. I was away with work lately and my OH surprised me by arriving as a surprise to meet me and it was fab....

advicewhore

ok...you don't wanna suddenly pop it out of nowhere and start showering her with gifts and everything! you should do it slowly cause she'll think something is up if you suddenly turn into mr.romantic! just start trying to stop being so routine! cook her some nice dinner and get her flowers one day! any as other people have said you don't want it to come across that your just doing all of this to get something in return! show her that you still care and the more you start treating her the way you probably used to back in the day...things may pick up and you wont both feel lazy about it! you'll be delighted to get home from work to see each other and hang out! i mean even if you just start going to drinks after work or something or take her out for dinner... just anything different to what you normally do! im sure she'll be delighted!! anyways it's not too light to relight the fire because it obviously hasn't died yet if you're still together after 10 years