FEEL SO HURT & CONFUSED.

wildatheart

I was in a relationship for over 2 years up until last week.
Things were always kind of bumpy, but for silly reasons like my girlfriends jealousy, which was totally unfounded as I was always loyal and love her very much. I was not entirely innocent as far as arguments went as I too suffered from bouts of insecurity.
However, I felt there was always a great love between us and that we could work through anything.

Towards the end of our relationship, she was very moody and I wasn't allowed to ask 'what's wrong?' without getting my head chewed off, which of course led to arguments. I tried my best to amuse her and make her happy, but nothing seemed to work. Of course our sex life went downhill also. She claimed it was because of the anti-depressant medication she was on. I too suffer from depression, however within the past year I have felt quite well in that regard.
I was working in a terrible, low paid job which used to get me down.
About a month ago, I left the job and am actually taking a case of constructive dismissal against them as they were breaking several laws regarding wages, holidays etc.
At the time my girlfriend said that she would support my decision, as she saw how miserable it was making me. I would like to add at this point that it was her house that we were living in.
Of course after a couple of weeks of having no money, things began to get tense. I did my best to do things around the house and ALWAYS cooked dinner etc
Around this time the 'Murphy Report' was published. It affected me quite deeply, as I was abused as a young boy. A fact that my girlfriend is well aware of. It got me down and I really wanted to do something to raise more public awareness with regard to these and other issues. I began aninternet campaign and got in touch with different groups etc. At the beginning she was very supportive. I felt it was good therapy for me to do something like this and I did have a lot of time on my hands, which is not to say that I was not looking for a job. I have emailed over 50 C.V's at this stage with no luck. We all know how hard things are at the moment.

It was at this time that she began to get more and more annoyed about having to support me financially. Something that I was quite ashamed of, but she then asked me to move out!!! In my view, we were almost a married couple, as that is the the direction I thought we were moving in. Needless to say I was quite shocked!! At first she said move out til things got better financially.

I went to stay in my family home. She then said that she would like to take a bit of a break, from us. I unerstood that she was annoyed at having to support me financially, but if it was the other way round, there is no way I would ask her to move out and certainly not take e break!!

I gave her the space that she asked for.
She sent me a txt after a few days, saying that she thought it was better if we completely broke up. I was devistated and celled her. She was like a completely different person to the woman I loved. Sounding cold and bitchy. I didn't know what to do. She also asked why I hadn't moved my stuff out yet. That really hurt because as far as I was concerned we were just having a breather, as that is what she led me to believe.

I went to the house during the week while she was at work to pick up some stuff. While I was looking for something I came accross a transcript of an email conversation which she had with a friend. I t basically said that I was irresponsible and made me out to be a complete loser with nothing to 'offer'. Abot half way down the page I read these words 'I may have a potential suiter knocking at my door'.. Needless to say, my heart nearly fell out of my mouth!! I couldn't control myself a called her to ask about it. I was in such a state, as you can imagine!! Of course ehe immediately turned it on me by saying I shouldn't have read her private things. I aske about the 'suiter', but of course she fobbed it off and said it was nothing. I was completely distraught, because obviously now I am thinking has something been going on behind my back? No matter how insecure I ever got I always trusted her.

I really don't know what to do now! Any help?

Barracudaincork

OP, your ex sounds like a materialistic cow! (and im being so polite here!!!)

She doesnt love you, kicking you out of your own home because you cant assist in the bills is just vile! I have to say though this is the issue when people just live together and not get married (although she would of choked on the richer or poorer part of the vows!) it does mean you havent as many rights and she used this to her advantage.

As for this other suiter, she appears to be one of these women who cant be by herself, she validates her worth on the person she shares her life with, which also ties in with the whole treating you like this since you lost your job.

OP, from your posting you have described a life that has had its fair share of heartache and knocks and right now you may be feeling "why me, cant i just get a break?" You will OP, trust me you will, but first you need to distance yourself from her and you need to realise that the issue is with her, not with you. This may be hard at first, but you can and you will do it!!!

humanji

Be thankful you've broken up. I know it doesn't seem like a positive thing, but it seems to be for the best. It sounds like she has been nothing but a negative force working against you for the last while and it's not something you need. How she has treated you isn't on, even if you want to make excuses like it's her depression, or maybe you want to try and blame yourself. But it's all her. Just cut contact and try and not think about her. Keep yourself busy and you before you know it, you'll meet someone who actually respects you.

kittenkiller

You poor thing OP.

You need to stay focussed on your own health and well being at the moment.
Your ex was obviously too immature for the relationship.
She couldn't deal with the responsibility and pressure of supporting you both and probably freaked out a little bit.
Better you find that out now when you other options rather than down the line when you might not.

She probably had the split in mind when she first asked you to vacate her house.
Once you were gone, she probably started enjoying herself as a singleton again and thinks that everything will be better for her now.
Obviously she's wrong.
She'll probably come back in a month or two when some stranger has broken her heart and want you back.
Do what's right for you and avoid falling for this.
She'll use you again.

You seem to be well able to take care of yourself and get things together, focus on that and your own self-improvement and change!

Best of luck.

wildatheart

Thank you all so much for your imput and advice.
You kinda re-enforced what I was thinking.
It's time to move on!:)

Barracudaincork

wildatheart wrote: »

Thank you all so much for your imput and advice.
You kinda re-enforced what I was thinking.
It's time to move on!:)

Thats great to hear OP!

I wish you nothing but the best