Girlfriend's Best Friend (?)

LegacyUser

O.k Just looking for some opinions on this.

My girlfriend is very close to this guy. She tells me she tells him everything (along with me) and that hes her best friend. He rings her up when drunk all the time and rings her generally. He even lent her 250euros and didn't ask for it back. She told me today that she is having lunch with him tomorrow. I kind of got pissed off and she said I was being unreasonable. Like am I unreasonable not to be comfortable with my girlfriend and another man alone in her house for a few hours even if they are supposedly friends?

What do you think? My girlfriend says im being ridiculous.

Wibbs

I've close women mates and nothing has or will ever happen. I've even got women mates where we may have had a brief fling, but nothing would happen again(even more likely as they've been there ). So it depends on a lot of variables.

Now if I was this guy and I got a sniff of this, I personally would back off. I wouldn't want our friendship to feck up her relationship. It can get to a situation where she may just want to make a point. Been there and it's understandable as you're questioning her trust levels.

Have you any real reason to doubt her intentions. His intentions I would worry less about, if worry at all TBH. Unless his name is Mesmero the hypnotist if she's into you there's little he could do to change her mind.

LegacyUser

I can completely understand ur irritation! I saw a pic of my gf with a guy she went to debs with sitting on his knee and I got that gut wrenching feeling even though she didn't even go out with him and it was b4 me.

I think you've just to keep your cool and trust her. It could easily be the other way round and you'd be complaining her about her going overboard about nothing.

If you've any reason not to trust her then you have to talk to her. Also, be open with her about where you set the limits when she sees this guy. Obviously, kissing would be too far but also small things can get to you and you need to let her know that....

Wibbs

sunflower27 wrote: »

In saying that, if I had a bf that got tetchy about me hanging out with my male friends at my home and in my time then I'd not be happy about it. We have the right to choose our own friends (of either sex). being in a relationship doesnt give anyone the right to dictate who their partner should or shouldnt hang out with.

I agree, but all too often both sides of this get bull headed to make a point. In this case she may make more of an issue of meeting this guy to prove a point of her independence and the OP may get more wound up about it to prove his point. Rinse repeat and then it could lead to relationship strain. Meet halfway I reckon. OK Ive women mates, but I would see them less if I was with someone who may be twitchy about that until such times as she saw it was all good. I wouldnt insist on meeting them alone to make some daft point, which all too often people do. Equally if I had a girlfriend who was meeting male mates I would keep my powder dry, until such times as I reckoned it was a bit much and then I may want to know more, if my suspicions were raised. Otherwise chill I say.

BraziliaNZ

I can understand the guy though. How many times do you come in here and read "OMG I'm in love with my best friend" ???
None of the girls I've gone out with have ever had male friends that they were that close with, at least while they were with me, I think it should boil down to common sense really, how you act with your opposite sex friends when you're involved with someone.

ManOfMystery

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I can understand the guy though. How many times do you come in here and read "OMG I'm in love with my best friend" ???
None of the girls I've gone out with have ever had male friends that they were that close with, at least while they were with me, I think it should boil down to common sense really, how you act with your opposite sex friends when you're involved with someone.

Bravo for some common sense +

Personally, I think a girl having a close friend who she admits to sharing everything with would make me wonder why she has a boyfriend as well.

Friendship is important, but I would like to think that more intimate things should be shared only with a partner.

SarahSassy

Did she pay him back his €250? There is a reason for asking.

Gyalist

I've said it before here and no doubt I'll say it again in the future - many women, and attractive ones in particular, have orbiters. As far as the women are concerned there is usually zero sexual attraction and the guy is deep in the friend zone.

Consider yourself lucky that there is someone else who she can unburden her emotional crap on so that you don't have to listen to it.