Going out alone at w-end

LegacyUser

I'm just wondering does anyone go out to gigs or clubs alone if they've no-one to go with?
There are a few gigs I'd like to go to in the next few weeks and my (very few) friends wouldn't be into them or are unavailable so should I go alone? I wouldn't go to the cinema or a nightclub alone but I'm thinking I could probably manage a gig.

I don't really care what people would think if they noticed me. I just don't want to feel like a loser in myself. And it would seem a shame to sit in when there is somewhere I'd like to go.

Hazys

Head out on your own, have a laugh, meet new people at the gig who like similar gigs, then you wont have to go on your own in the future.

Surely sitting on your couch watching the Late Late Show of Friday night is more lame.

wylo

big difference between just heading out normally on your own and going to a gig or something.
I say go, whats the worse that can happen seriously? you'll regret it if you dont.

G-Money

I'm a bit like this OP. I notice that most of my friends don't share my interests when it comes to music and other things. I started to think to myself "ah well I can't go alone."

Then it occurred to me. I said to myself "If I keep living by that rule, I'm never going to get to go to x, y or z because I don't have anyone to go with". So I just said "F*** it, I'm going by myself".

I don't mind it so much now. I still wouldn't be mad keen on going to a niteclub on my own. Although having said that, one of the recent nights I was out, I sort of ended up wishing I was there by myself. Nothing against the person I was with, but the music was so loud and after a while I got fed up trying to make conversation.

Plus if you go by yourself, the only timetable you have to stick to is your own.

MIN2511

What gig(s) are you going to? You could find out on boards if there are people going to it, good way to make friends
If you're too shy to ask, head out on your own...

Overheal

going to gigs and movies? I dont see the issue. I prefer going to the movies without a big drunk crowd of friends typically. Except when we got locked and saw Snakes on a Plane.... More often than not though I actually want to watch a movie, so I do go alone quite a bit if nobody else seems up to it.

Now going to clubs - youre lucky. I on the other hand, go downtown Charleston, and downtown Charleston is neighboured by a Naval Base and AFB. Those lads put me way out of my league

sunnyside

goingout wrote: »

? I wouldn't go to the cinema or a nightclub alone .

The cinema is probably the one place I would go to alone, sitting in the dark with nobody talking or watching other people.

I recommend you go to the first gig on your own. If you aren't comfortable when you get there, there are zero consequences, you can just leave anytime you want and go home. Hopefully you'll have a great time. Definitely worth trying.

jester77

Join Last.fm. I regulalrly see posts from people who are going alone to gigs looking to meet up with others. Great way to meet new people and you already have something in common when you meet them.

james.xix

goingout wrote: »

I'm just wondering does anyone go out to gigs or clubs alone if they've no-one to go with?
There are a few gigs I'd like to go to in the next few weeks and my (very few) friends wouldn't be into them or are unavailable so should I go alone? I wouldn't go to the cinema or a nightclub alone but I'm thinking I could probably manage a gig.

I don't really care what people would think if they noticed me. I just don't want to feel like a loser in myself. And it would seem a shame to sit in when there is somewhere I'd like to go.

I’d see this as a test of character and how comfortable you are with yourself.

If mates of mine are busy and I need to go to the pub to watch a match I will.
Probably would’ve freaked me out at some point but doesn’t in the slightest now.

I wouldn’t really go clubbing on my own but as for a gig, if you like the band, go there and have a laugh, you’ll more than likely will bump into people who have the same interest and you’re bound to get talking to people.

I went to a football game last weekend, gf not about, the lads were busy but I went anyways.

At the ground were people who had the same interest in football. I talked away to people, enjoyed the game and had a good laugh.

upmeath

I think the only "going out alone" I could take issue with is problem drinking.

I've a friend who got himself into an awful swing of alcoholism at one stage a couple of years back. One evening in particular he got on a bus into town and got another bus out of town in another direction to get to a friend's house he left cans in the previous week. He broke into the friend's house because nobody was home, proceeded to drink his leftover drink and theirs, made himself at home for a few hours, before heading to a club in the city and spending the night on his own, looking on at the revellers.

I don't think there's any particular problem with going to a gig or the cinema on your own though. If you're enthusiastic about an artist or someone or other, but your enthusiasm isn't shared among your existing friends, go along and enjoy it. You'll only regret it otherwise.

That_Guy

OP I've been to 3 gigs on my own because none of my friends like metal.
Had a great time. Got talking to a few people and really enjoyed myself each time.
Plenty of people go to gigs by themselves. You shouldn't be too concerned about what other people think.

I've often gone to the cinema by myself too. Loads of my friends call it "sad" but I laugh at them because it's even more sad that they need to have people around to do things with them.

Personally I'd rather go to the cinema by myself than go with my mates sometimes so I don't have to listen to them talking through the film.

magneticimpulse

meetup.com have a gigs group!! so you never have to go alone

DerekD Goldfish

I go to gigs alone all the time, ive flown to gigs in other countries on my own most people there are there to see the act and couldn't care less how many people you are with.

Don't head in as soon as doors open though as the standing on your todd for 40 mins before the support act come on can drag in, if you aim to arrive just as the support act come on you will be grand

clartharlear

Just another voice chipping in that going alone >>> not going!

And you'll only be going alone, once you're there, you'll be in a room full of interesting new people with whom you know you have something in common.

Let us know how much you enjoy the gigs!

waitinforatrain

goingout wrote: »

I'm just wondering does anyone go out to gigs or clubs alone if they've no-one to go with?
There are a few gigs I'd like to go to in the next few weeks and my (very few) friends wouldn't be into them or are unavailable so should I go alone? I wouldn't go to the cinema or a nightclub alone but I'm thinking I could probably manage a gig.

I don't really care what people would think if they noticed me. I just don't want to feel like a loser in myself. And it would seem a shame to sit in when there is somewhere I'd like to go.

I've done this before for gigs, wouldn't do it for a nightclub, haven't done it for the cinema but sounds like a good idea. With gigs at least you're all there to see the same band, have a common interest - easier to get chatting to people etc.

Plus you have the excuse of saying none of your friends are into the band (which would be true in most cases) so that you don't make people feel uncomfortable (I get a bit weirded out if I think people are clinging to me so I try not to do the same to others)

Red Alert

Cinema or a gig would be fine I'd say - there's always a few people on their own and they don't bother me!

eyeball kid

You could try the Gig Buddies forum here on boards if you were looking for someone to go with...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1098

LegacyUser

i would second a few comments there. going to the cinema, a gig, a gallery opening, pub to watch a match, pub to have a pint where i am friends with the bar staff, all things that can comfortably be done alone because you're there for something, not someone. particularly for music because that is the focus of you and everyone around you.


clubbing would be different, although i would have to be dragged along to a club anyway so i'm unlikely to drag myself.

Rocky77

I regularly go to gigs on my own. Obviously it's not ideal and if there's someone to come with then all the better. But it's certainly not the end of the world. The same applies to matches.

Pubs and clubs, though, are an entirely different story.

leggo

I've regularly gone to the cinema to see films that the lads/birds/baby sister wouldn't be interested in.

Wouldn't go to a club by myself...just because the only reason I go is because I'm hanging out with other lads. Would happily go to a pub by myself. Especially when I travelled a lot back in the day...bring along an iPod/book/laptop (esp now there's mobile internet) and you're laughing. I presume 90% of people here would have a burger in McDonalds by themselves...what's the difference? Only you're staying for longer so are more likely to get chatting to people.

And I'd back up anyone who'd say go to a gig by yourself. I've been lucky in that I've always been able to find at least one person to go with in the past...but if I couldn't it wouldn't be an issue.

I can see why people would be socially uncomfortable doing this...but to them I'd say, imagine it from the other side. Imagine you got talking to someone in, say, the smoking area of a gig and they were saying, completely comfortably, "Ah none of the mates liked this band or they weren't around...so I said **** it I'm not missing it!" Would anything aside from "Ya know what...fair play to ya, that makes perfect sense!" run through your head? So what's wrong with being that guy?

Seraphina

MIN2511 wrote: »

What gig(s) are you going to? You could find out on boards if there are people going to it, good way to make friends

Plus ONE MILLION to this, i met an extremely good friend of mine at a gig after we arrange to go together on the Gigs & Events forum!

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks so much for all the replies.

The thing is I'm a newly single female so I want to make a point to myself of being more self reliant and extremely independent. I've always had a bf to hang out of and now that I don't, I don't want these things to phase me at all.

Also re meeting people from Boards, I thought I'd made some good buddies from here but they turned out to be major jerks and let me down big time a few times when we'd planned to go out. I hate saying that but its true so it has put me off going to the meet ups which is a real shame as I did want to make new friends.

Wibbs

Yea but the general meetups are pretty cool and you're not so reliant on meeting one or two people. It could be an option to extend your social circle. Anything that increases that is a good thing. The usual stuff, never turn down a chance to go out if only for an hour.