What the hell?

LegacyUser

Hey im just looking for opinions on this cause im starting to doubt myself. Ok so i broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago because basicly we werent getting along so both knew it wasnt working.

Anyway the the other day I got in contact to get some stuff of mine off her. It was just a text to ask if she could post it onto to me. she text back and we ended up having some chit chat. Then I happened to mention that I had been seeing a girl from college who I met about a month after we broke up. Now when I say seeing it wasnt anything really just chatting, texting and the odd kiss.

My ex then flipped and sent me a torrent of abuse! Apparently Im a cheater annd a horrible, horrible man! I then asked her why was I a cheater and apparently I had been seeing this girl while I was with her! I told her I hadnt met till we broke up but she was having none of it and continued to abuse me! I was absolutely shocked. Im just wondering if any of ye have experienced this before? I feel so numb that she could actually feel like that towards me.

Barracudaincork

She is hurting hence the abuse!

You dont deserve the abuse, nothing you did warrents the abuse she is hurting at the thoughts of you with someone else and isnt dealing with it in a grown up manner.

Women and men do this on a fairly regular basis if you ask me. Some people cant accept the fact their ex has moved on, they always hope they would pine for them forever and ever and are shocked that someone else can take their place. Its not very mature or realistic but it does happen.

If i was you i would just say to her the next time she abuses you, "listen think what you like, i know the truth and i really have better things to be doing than arguing with your imagination"

What ever you do dont pander to her tears, tandrums etc etc You dont deserve them!

Gyalist

I haven't experienced this but then I don't go running my mouth off to exes. Her reaction was uncalled for but it seems to me that you wanted to make a point to her that you had moved on. She clearly still has feeling for you despite the breakup and has not yet moved on, so I can see why she reacted in that way even though her actions were illogical.

Why would you want to tell an ex that you are seeing someone else?

LegacyUser

hey gyalist thanks for the reply, i didnt make a point of telling her she asked.

MissFlitworth

No one likes hearing that the ex who recently dumped them is now happy off scoring other people. She might have been pretending to be more ok with the breakup than she really was. Why would you think it was a good idea to tell her that you're seeing someone new? That's just rubbing salt in the wound!

Beetlebum

???1234 wrote: »

hey gyalist thanks for the reply, i didnt make a point of telling her she asked.

In your opening post you say 'I happened to mention I was seeing someone' which implies you volunteered the information and weren't asked directly but either way it's irrelevant.

Clearly your ex's torrent of abuse came from her being hurt by the thought of you moving on to another girl. Have you ever been mad a bout a girl who broke up with you and she got with someone else? It's never easy to hear. I remember feeling a wee bit upset when I heard an ex of mine had a new girlfriend and I actually had no feelings left fo rhim. It just hurts.

I'm not saying she was fair or right to do it, all I'm saying is if she was my friend I'd be taking her out for a cheer up pint tonight..

Try to be a little more understanding but at the same time don't indulge her either. Let her heal..

Aurora Borealis

Yeah I agree with Beetlebum. Clearly it's not right but she's human and she's hurt. I say just let it lie. We can all act a bit weird when emotions run high.

james.xix

???1234 wrote: »

Hey im just looking for opinions on this cause im starting to doubt myself. Ok so i broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago because basicly we werent getting along so both knew it wasnt working.

Anyway the the other day I got in contact to get some stuff of mine off her. It was just a text to ask if she could post it onto to me. she text back and we ended up having some chit chat. Then I happened to mention that I had been seeing a girl from college who I met about a month after we broke up. Now when I say seeing it wasnt anything really just chatting, texting and the odd kiss.

My ex then flipped and sent me a torrent of abuse! Apparently Im a cheater annd a horrible, horrible man! I then asked her why was I a cheater and apparently I had been seeing this girl while I was with her! I told her I hadnt met till we broke up but she was having none of it and continued to abuse me! I was absolutely shocked. Im just wondering if any of ye have experienced this before? I feel so numb that she could actually feel like that towards me.

She sounds crazy.
A girl I kinda was seeing before but then I cut things off had herself convinced I was hurt nothing ever came of what she thought we might have.

She has trust issues anyway. I don’t think she wanted ye to break. When ye did she probably found it hard to accept and comprehend.

Now she’s going to convince herself and tell her mates that you’re a rat.
You can try talking rationally and logically to her but forget it, you’re better off your out of it.
Try to keep the peace as much as you can and thread very carefully with her until you get your stuff, then run like hell and be glad you’re alive and have a good future to look forward to.

AngryBadger

As Gyalist has said, even mentioning a new girl to an ex is stupid, women just aren't rational enough to not flip out.

otherwise your ex in particular sounds like a complete spa who thinls that being a woman gioves her the right to act like a space cadet.

get rid of her.

Chinafoot

AngryBadger wrote:

women just aren't rational enough to not flip out.

What a ridiculous statement.


Did you tell her that you started seeing this new girl a month after you split from her? Depending on how long you were with the ex, starting something new after a month might seem very quick, which in turns fuels the assumption that you must have been seeing her before you ended the relationship.

Yeah she shouldn't have overreacted but equally you shouldn't have mentioned a new girl. So what if she asked. Its none of her business. I agree with the others that you were most likely making a point to her.

Let it go and in future keep your private life private.

LegacyUser

hey thanks to everyone for the replies! I realise now i shouldnt have said anything about the girl im seeing but i thought at the time that i shouldnt lie to her. If she heard from someone else would that have been worse? as regards how long we were together it was just over 6 months so it wasnt exactly a long term relationship. but i know now to just back away and leave her be regardless of what she says! once again thanks to all for the advice.