So Guys, how long should i wait??

LegacyUser

Hi, Never posted on this site before but have read alot of the advice on here, it has always been very good advice, used alot of it in my travels.

So anyway my query is mostly for the ladies, but any opinions are welcomed, i have met this girl about nearly three weeks ago now, and we have met up alot and got on like a house on fire.
Now i have been in two proper relationships but i never instigated any moves, the girls always seemed to bring up the subject of a relationship, i used to be a complete comitaphobe, i was terrible. this girl is the first one in a very long time that i have clicked with. now in previous times i would go with the flow and never work at anything, basically week long flings! so any way back to my question, i really like this girl and i know that i want more than just a fling with here. like three weeks in now, how long should i wat before biting the bullet and asking her out! as in to be my girlfriend.

huh this seems far more childish when its written out infront of me. my apologies if this does come across as a bit immature, i just do not want to scare her off too early. thanks guys. oh im just turned 22 and shes 20.

madmac187

quell hell wrote: »

Hi, Never posted on this site before but have read alot of the advice on here, it has always been very good advice, used alot of it in my travels.

So anyway my query is mostly for the ladies, but any opinions are welcomed, i have met this girl about nearly three weeks ago now, and we have met up alot and got on like a house on fire.
Now i have been in two proper relationships but i never instigated any moves, the girls always seemed to bring up the subject of a relationship, i used to be a complete comitaphobe, i was terrible. this girl is the first one in a very long time that i have clicked with. now in previous times i would go with the flow and never work at anything, basically week long flings! so any way back to my question, i really like this girl and i know that i want more than just a fling with here. like three weeks in now, how long should i wat before biting the bullet and asking her out! as in to be my girlfriend.

huh this seems far more childish when its written out infront of me. my apologies if this does come across as a bit immature, i just do not want to scare her off too early. thanks guys. oh im just turned 22 and shes 20.

Ask man, do something If she say no, you're no worse than you are now except you will know. Best thing to do. Try and find something common, not a movie, sooo not a good idea. Drink, somewhere you can talk is best.

viggi-tea

Maybe just drop some hints if possible first? Just to see how she reacts. Indicate that you want her to be around for a while... It all depends on the nature of the relationship and how fast its moving tho so the best thing you can do is just gauge how you feel. Theres no strict rules about timing these things, but I would say usually a month may be the right amount of time before that kinda conversation.

Or you could just be brave and leap in! You'll probably be glad you did it either way

dublingal80

quell hell wrote: »

Hi, Never posted on this site before but have read alot of the advice on here, it has always been very good advice, used alot of it in my travels.

So anyway my query is mostly for the ladies, but any opinions are welcomed, i have met this girl about nearly three weeks ago now, and we have met up alot and got on like a house on fire.
Now i have been in two proper relationships but i never instigated any moves, the girls always seemed to bring up the subject of a relationship, i used to be a complete comitaphobe, i was terrible. this girl is the first one in a very long time that i have clicked with. now in previous times i would go with the flow and never work at anything, basically week long flings! so any way back to my question, i really like this girl and i know that i want more than just a fling with here. like three weeks in now, how long should i wat before biting the bullet and asking her out! as in to be my girlfriend.

huh this seems far more childish when its written out infront of me. my apologies if this does come across as a bit immature, i just do not want to scare her off too early. thanks guys. oh im just turned 22 and shes 20.

just be yourself and say what you just wrote!! no point hanging about. tell her how you feel

Overheal

dublingal80 wrote: »

just be yourself and say what you just wrote!! no point hanging about. tell her how you feel

I disagree with spilling your mushed up guts on the floor just yet.

You want to ask her out? Just ask her out. On dates. Go dating. The natural progression.

LegacyUser

Hi Guys, thanks for the responses,

Went for a drive with her there yesterday evening, didnt say anything about getting any more serious but she brought up the subject of kissing others while just "scoring" each other (hate that term) so any way we were chattin away about it and i said i wouldn be off with others while i was with her ( never with more than one girl at a time even if its just casual, not fair on anyone) so that was grand and she was talking about ex's and how some were just **** to her and it made her realise that at the time she didn want relationships so they were very short term, but she then went on saying stuff like " if we were going out" etc describing situations of different things, and she said that phrase numerous times. so i got a little confused to if she isn ready for one or that she was hinting at me to say something about her being ready to be in one!!

And yes i know im completely useless in these situations. never have a prob gettin the girl but i struggle to move into the inital staages of a decent relationship as i have rarely done it. have always been the stand off ish guy who just wanted a bit of fun every so often. (which i made clear to any girl i got involved with)

james.xix

quell hell wrote: »

Hi, Never posted on this site before but have read alot of the advice on here, it has always been very good advice, used alot of it in my travels.

So anyway my query is mostly for the ladies, but any opinions are welcomed, i have met this girl about nearly three weeks ago now, and we have met up alot and got on like a house on fire.
Now i have been in two proper relationships but i never instigated any moves, the girls always seemed to bring up the subject of a relationship, i used to be a complete comitaphobe, i was terrible. this girl is the first one in a very long time that i have clicked with. now in previous times i would go with the flow and never work at anything, basically week long flings! so any way back to my question, i really like this girl and i know that i want more than just a fling with here. like three weeks in now, how long should i wat before biting the bullet and asking her out! as in to be my girlfriend.

huh this seems far more childish when its written out infront of me. my apologies if this does come across as a bit immature, i just do not want to scare her off too early. thanks guys. oh im just turned 22 and shes 20.

Where are ye meeting?

I usually find it good to meet in a pub where the two of ye can meet and talk. Go to the cinema or something some other nights.

If ye're meeting up on dates, just the two of ye over 2-3 weeks, she does like you and you should be able to talk to her about it.

LegacyUser

Right guys,

Goin into the start of the 4th week being with this girl. So im thinking what should i do??

We have still been in contact but she isn texting as much although she has rang me twice in the last two days for a chat!! but yesterdays one was very very brief!! then it seemed like she was a little dismissing today. i asked her to meet up again soon and she did agree to this but didn give anything more to bite on. that was just a few min ago.

so basically i dont know if i should be asking her out or just keep "scoring her for another while" ??

I am just not sure if she was trying to drop hints the last day when we met up. she did mention ex's and not being ready for relationships in the past, and relating to things in the sense of " if we were going out " terminology.etc.

So im completely lost, and yes i do understand that i sound like a right fool, but to be honest i have an ever growing soft spot for this girl which as i have said before is a rareity for me!!

thanks guys

LegacyUser

Im in a similar one but dunno if im being played or not. she has been kissed by two guys now, but she was very distraught last nigth and rang me to collect her. Falling massively for her but not sure if i should go down the relationship or else escape before i get hurt too much.

SheRa

quell hell wrote: »

Right guys,

Goin into the start of the 4th week being with this girl. So im thinking what should i do??

We have still been in contact but she isn texting as much although she has rang me twice in the last two days for a chat!! but yesterdays one was very very brief!! then it seemed like she was a little dismissing today. i asked her to meet up again soon and she did agree to this but didn give anything more to bite on. that was just a few min ago.

so basically i dont know if i should be asking her out or just keep "scoring her for another while" ??

I am just not sure if she was trying to drop hints the last day when we met up. she did mention ex's and not being ready for relationships in the past, and relating to things in the sense of " if we were going out " terminology.etc.

So im completely lost, and yes i do understand that i sound like a right fool, but to be honest i have an ever growing soft spot for this girl which as i have said before is a rareity for me!!

thanks guys

kdkm wrote: »

Im in a similar one but dunno if im being played or not. she has been kissed by two guys now, but she was very distraught last nigth and rang me to collect her. Falling massively for her but not sure if i should go down the relationship or else escape before i get hurt too much.

Lads seriously, stop the hinting around and trying to read in between the lines. Why cant you just say to your potential girlfriend that you want to go out with them and just them? If you wait any longer (a) she will just think that you are not interested and/or (b) the game playing/ hinting will drive you crazy.

magneticimpulse

Just ask her out! Being a female..."if we were going out" term would mean she was hinting at a relationship. She is hinting her ex's were useless (thats why they are now an ex). She is making it clear she is very much available to you and is also trying to get hints from you!!! She doesnt want to spill her guts out either. I think after 4 weeks its no harm to ask. I would never have had your outlook on that, so it shows how people think too much.

My ex used to say "what are we?". I used to joke back to him. Looking back now I didnt realise guys thought about this as I was always under the impression guys wanted fun!! I think the question, "we have been getting on nicely, and was wondering would you fancy being my girlfriend?". Christmas is coming up, so you should really find out how serious this is. Nothing worse then a guy giving you a present and you not giving him anything because you thought you were just "scoring". Girls are just as much confused. But we do like guys who are direct too!

panda_cub

A simple, 'what's the story with us?' will start the conversation and then just let her know you're interested in being with her and only her.

That said, I've noticed a lot of people just assume it and this chat never happens leading to misunderstanding, so better to clear it up now!!

CDfm

I agree with Shera 100%. What are you waiting for:)

LegacyUser

Hey guys,
Going to bite the bullet tonight, was talking to the girl earlier and we agreed to meet up! Just waiting on her call now! here goes nothing, and thanks for the input

Must Have Music

ask her to be your girlfriend RIGHT AWAY! Or you could lose her if she feels you're just stringing her along. seriously dude, do it!