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  • 07-12-2009 6:40pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, I was hoping to get guys opinion here. I'm 19 year old female, not exactly a stunner but I don't think I'm ugly either. Thing is even though I know I'm not hideous, I am very self-conscious about my image as I'm sure a lot of women are. But I'm wondering, how far do you expect women to work on their appearance? I don't go out looking scraggy looking and obviously I go out clean and tidy, try to wear nice clothes etc. etc.

    I think it's just that there's so many 'perfect' women in the media that I feel like I'm totally below the par of what is expected of women. I do wear makeup - but mostly only on nights out, as with college and work I just don't have the time and so it'd be very light makeup at most during the day.

    I suffer from mild eczema and at the moment have a pretty bad outbreak of spots which I try to cover with makeup. But I have pale skin and refuse to go out with an orange face. The only way around my skin is if I got a full body tan - is this whats expected of women? I see a lot of girls out there with gorgeous flawless skin and fake tan but I just don't have the money or time to be doing that to be honest.

    Another thing is my legs - I do shave but not on my thighs as I don't want them to grow back longer. I have considered waxing but again, expensive, time consuming and painful! Again, there's the tan issue with my legs and I also have eczema and bruises there from hockey.

    I also don't shave ''down there'' but I trim and to be honest - looking at myself there in a mirror I wouldn't blame guys if they were turned off by it!

    I don't do the whole fake nails thing either - mine are short for guitar reasons but always clean etc.

    I guess all these little things add up...I'm wondering how far the average woman goes? And how far do men expect us to go?

    I know it seems like a stupid problem but it's kinda getting me down.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 180 ✭✭james.xix


    It’s only important really to dress up when you’re going out.
    If your clean, tidy and wear nice clothes you should be fine.
    You only should do what your comfortable with.

    Never mind the perfect women, that’s blown up by the media, guys can see beyond that as well.
    Nothing is expected of you, many guys think things are expected from them. It’s really a matter of doing the basics as you have which is enough and going out enjoying yourself after that without these doubts.
    With college/work light makeup is the right job as well.

    A lot guys will be smitten over you, you would come across as more down to earth and not up yourself.

    Pale skin is grand as well, again go with what you are comfortable with. Natural can be pretty.
    A fullbody tan is not expected, I know girls use fake tan to cover some bits I’m not getting into that because it’d be over my head.

    You want to shaving/waxing all your legs though including your tighs. I know it’ll grow back, but guys shave as well, somthing you will have to do. More especially if you start seeing someone.

    As with down there, if your seeing someone it’s good to keep it tidy down there. It’s not something that’d be majorly dwelt on but it is better to and appreciated .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭haven27


    I'm female but have to say asking a range of guys what they like a girl to look like will get you a massive range of answers. Anyway all I wanted to say was don't try too hard to fit an image that isn't you or that your not gonna be happy with in order to impress guys. I'm pale and far too lazy to tan and it hasn't impacted me meeting guys at all.

    The girls you see walking around with the perfect skin and the perfect tan are probably just as concerned with how they think they look as you are, I bet if you went up to someone and asked what they didn't like about themselves they'd have a list too.

    As for the shaving/waxing your legs do it only if you want to and in terms of down there, trust me most guys if they're getting to see it they won't be complaining or put off.

    Oh and even if you tried to tan over eczema it might turn your patches a darker colour than the rest of the tan as it will cling to any dry skin (have done this over psoriasis and it had comical results).




  • It really depends on the person. Some girls feel naked without their foundation, fake nails and highlights while others just have to wash their face in the morning and feel grand. Personally, if my eyebrows look tidy, I've had a shower, nails are cut and filed (not necessarily painted), legs shaved (I do the whole leg) and perhaps a little blusher and powder, that's enough for me most days. If I was making a special effort, I'd paint my nails, wear mascara and make an effort with clothes and accessories, but it's not an everyday thing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7 extremethinker


    eh please do shave your legs and trim, 'down' there. i'm a guy and a woman who hasn't done that is a major no no for me and alot of other guys would agree.




  • eh please do shave your legs and trim, 'down' there. i'm a guy and a woman who hasn't done that is a major no no for me and alot of other guys would agree.

    That's what I would have thought, but there have been times when I've been busy and have let things go and the guy didn't seem to care at all.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    There is no one 'look' that women need to conform to, do what you are happy with,
    in terms of looks, time and your health re your skin care.

    Any one who demands or expects you to look like an airbrushed model or pornstar
    is not as intrested in you as a person as they should be.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey im a guy. I tend to take care of myself; I shower, shave, wear hair product and try to wear nice clothes everyday. I tend to be attracted to girls who take care of themselfs and pride in their appearance. Thats just me. I like girls to wear nice clothes, have nice hair and put on a small (not alot) of make up everday. I like them to look after their weight (thou them girls in the media tend to be way way to skinny), just keep it at a healthy weight.
    Thats just my background and the girls I go for. I'm sure there is loads of guys who would disagree with me, and would be greatly attracted to you.

    DO DO DO shave your legs and either trim of shave down there as often as you can. Major turn off if you dont. Try eat healthy, drink lots of water and keep fit. A healthy lifestyle will show and improve your appearance. It will also make you feel better.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    Hi, I was hoping to get guys opinion here. I'm 19 year old female, not exactly a stunner but I don't think I'm ugly either. Thing is even though I know I'm not hideous, I am very self-conscious about my image as I'm sure a lot of women are. But I'm wondering, how far do you expect women to work on their appearance? I don't go out looking scraggy looking and obviously I go out clean and tidy, try to wear nice clothes etc. etc.

    I think it's just that there's so many 'perfect' women in the media that I feel like I'm totally below the par of what is expected of women. I do wear makeup - but mostly only on nights out, as with college and work I just don't have the time and so it'd be very light makeup at most during the day.

    I suffer from mild eczema and at the moment have a pretty bad outbreak of spots which I try to cover with makeup. But I have pale skin and refuse to go out with an orange face. The only way around my skin is if I got a full body tan - is this whats expected of women? I see a lot of girls out there with gorgeous flawless skin and fake tan but I just don't have the money or time to be doing that to be honest.

    Another thing is my legs - I do shave but not on my thighs as I don't want them to grow back longer. I have considered waxing but again, expensive, time consuming and painful! Again, there's the tan issue with my legs and I also have eczema and bruises there from hockey.

    I also don't shave ''down there'' but I trim and to be honest - looking at myself there in a mirror I wouldn't blame guys if they were turned off by it!

    I don't do the whole fake nails thing either - mine are short for guitar reasons but always clean etc.

    I guess all these little things add up...I'm wondering how far the average woman goes? And how far do men expect us to go?

    I know it seems like a stupid problem but it's kinda getting me down.

    I wouldn't change a thing, you seem kinda natural to me, I like that. Don't worry about the spots, they will go away in time.

    Just keep yourself in good shape, don't destroy your body with alcohol. You are around college age, don't let yourself get whats known as the freshman 15.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, OP here. Thanks for all the replies. Kinda getting mixed responses here...!

    But I guess I'm doing ok but I could afford to make a bit more effort perhaps getting up earlier in the mornings to put on makeup (i know - arrgh!!)

    As far as the whole shaving thing goes - if I'm wearing a skirt/dress/shorts etc. I'll make the effort to shave and if I'm going on a night out. No problem. But to expect a girl to be hairless 24/7 is annoying. I mean, sometimes you just don't know whether you're going to end up having sex with someone, and you can't say "hold on, I didn't bother shaving in the shower this morning, give me 10min" but I can understand that hairy legs would be a turn off for men

    Argh it's so stressful being a girl! :)


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