I'm trapped...

LegacyUser

So I seriously, seriously hate my job. I had a very long and very boring post written about the reasons why I hate it, but suffice to say, I doubt anyone would have read it all! I am bored, de-motivated, feeling useless and am not valued. I cry on the bus on the way into work each morning dreading having to spend 8 hours in the office.
I am a single mum with a big mortage and spend a fortune on childcare weekly to get to the godforsaken office.
I can't see anyway out of this trap. I am looking for other jobs daily, but no joy. Today, I have gone on sick leave because I just couldn't face it there today.
Can anyone offer me any advice as to what I should do?
Daily, I am tempted to resign and live on SW, but I know thats not an option.
On a good day, I realise I am a great role model for my children - they see me going to work each day and know it's the right thing to do.
On a bad day, like today, I have spent yesterday evening crying because I just couldn't face another day of the boredom and monotony. I must also add that my salary isn't great and that while it pays the mortgage and childcare, that's about all it does.!
Has anyone any words of wisdom?????????
I hate complaining about my job because I know there are so many people out there with no jobs currently, but I am at the point of a breakdown if I don't do something quick.

dublingal80

Hi Op

Im so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and helpless at the moment. Its awful being in a job you completely hate doing, and especially when it gets to the stage of crying on your way to work every day. Honestly though, I dont think its an option on going on SW. I know you said your salary isnt great but its doing what it should be doing, paying the mortgage, food, bills etc. The SW probably wouldnt cover it as much and you would have more problems

Your children are learning SO much from you. You are working so so hard for them. You are a single mother and you are able to do it. They are going to grow up being so proud of you for what you did for them and they are going to learn from you and be completely independent and know the value of money.

Maybe when you are feeling a little bit better, write a list of reasons why you have to go to work such as being a good role model for your children, and stick it on the inside of your wardrobe, with pictures of your kids and when you are feeling rotten and you really dont want to work, open the wardrobe and read the list and look at their gorgeous faces and you will know why you are doing it and it should give you the strength to make it through another day of work

But definitely keep an eye out for jobs, send your CV to every single one you are interested in, make a list of the jobs and companies that you have sent them too and if you dont hear from them in couple of days, call them and chase it up

Best of luck OP. You are doing a great job

Fiend-Foe

My mother raised myself and my brother on her own. She went to work everyday and it wasn't easy for her at all. I have no real advice but to stick with it and keep looking for something new. Something will come up eventually. But I want you to know how much your children will look up to you and respect you for everything you are doing for them now when they are grown. They will appreciate everything you have done for them and all the sacrifices you have made. You are a good parent. Thats the difference, good parents make sacrifices for the welfare of their children. The bad ones don't give a crap and spend their whole lives on welfare, then the children grow and spend their lives on welfare. You are giving your children the best possible start in this world and someday you will see the benefits. I commend you for that.

MACgirl

I wish I had some words of advice OP, but all i can say is im so sorry, im in almost exactly the same position. I don't have kids, but ive been in the same dead end job for almost 4 years now, I've actually been here so long 'cos I done a course for another career path (thats really competitve) and i had a part time job doing that, that was supposed to go full time and then didn't, I can so sympathise, I wake up crying nearly every day at the thought of just getting out of bed and going there again and being on your own and dealing with this, I know is just the worst. I know all about the good days when you know that what your doing is right, but the bad days like today, I know that feeling of helplessness All I can say is thank you for posting this thread, if nothing else, you've made my day a little bit easier to get through, knowing im not the only person in this position. What does help me sometimes is knowing that, this will end. You've said it yourself, your not signing on for benefits, your persevering and when ever people persevere, they don't give up. You've been applying for other jobs and when they see that you've stayed in a company, they're more likely to consider you for the position rather than someone who just gave up for no reason and signed on instead. I really hope it gets better for you and if anyone else has advice, it would be so much appreciated for me too.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for your kind words - they brought tears to my eyes - there have been alot of them lately!
I do know that my kids will appreciate me, I do realise that all the sacrifices I make, I do for them. But it's like I'm lost in a cloud. It's like 'Where did I (me) go??' At what point in my life did it become me living this horrible existance so that my children would appreciate me, perhaps when I'm too old to even realise their appreciation!
My previous job used to be my outlet. I called it my social life - I don't go out that much, and I had great friends there, loved the job and loved going to work so it didn't bother me so much that I didn't go out because my job WAS my social life.
It's so different in the new place tho. There honestly isn't one thing I like about the place. I could (seriously) take 3 weeks off, would hardly be missed and would have little to catch up on when I returned. I just feel like I'm wasting away in there. I returned to college last year and probably got this job based on my new qualification (from my cv). But the job itself is sooooooooo boring. It's so difficult for me even to describe it to people. And I pretend I love it because like I said, all around me are losing their jobs, so I don't want to appear like I'm not grateful for having a job.
More tears now....

Fiend-Foe

Unregistered wrote: »

Thank you so much for your kind words - they brought tears to my eyes - there have been alot of them lately!
I do know that my kids will appreciate me, I do realise that all the sacrifices I make, I do for them. But it's like I'm lost in a cloud. It's like 'Where did I (me) go??' At what point in my life did it become me living this horrible existance so that my children would appreciate me, perhaps when I'm too old to even realise their appreciation!
My previous job used to be my outlet. I called it my social life - I don't go out that much, and I had great friends there, loved the job and loved going to work so it didn't bother me so much that I didn't go out because my job WAS my social life.
It's so different in the new place tho. There honestly isn't one thing I like about the place. I could (seriously) take 3 weeks off, would hardly be missed and would have little to catch up on when I returned. I just feel like I'm wasting away in there. I returned to college last year and probably got this job based on my new qualification (from my cv). But the job itself is sooooooooo boring. It's so difficult for me even to describe it to people. And I pretend I love it because like I said, all around me are losing their jobs, so I don't want to appear like I'm not grateful for having a job.
More tears now....

Don't worry, you'll get back there again. This job isn't permanent, nothing is. Try take some more time out for yourself and do something you enjoy and relax. Just something small you can look forward to at the end of the day/week to reward yourself. And just remember what you do for a living doesn't define you, just see it as a means to pay the bills and not a major part of your life.

LegacyUser

Oh I do only see it as a means to an end. But it's like I have so little else going on in my life - sometimes, the people in work are the only other adults I see for a few days. What with getting the kids to school, collecting them from the childminders and getting home at 6.30, I'm exhausted and often flake in front of the tv for the evening, dreading the next day...
I know I'm in a rut...and I'm finding it difficult to get out of it.
My kids dad is not involved (which is a whole other thread) and i have little support with the kids so I often feel I'm abandoning them while I sit in a job I hate, as I am genunely all they have. They are however, wonderful kids and I'd be so lost without them... I'm so full of guilt over that side of things too....
And MACgirl...seriously I feel your pain and if I didn't have kids and a big mortgage I would be gone from my job in the morning! I would take the closest job to home just to keep the roof over my head...can you not do something like that?

MACgirl

I know I've no kids, but I do have rent and loans and bills to pay and even though I know I could walk out of this job and into another one, id be walking into the same thing, I work in a call centre, they're a dime a dozen and all the jobs are the same (ive been working in different call centres for the past 10 years) this job i hung onto 'cos i wanted to get my career in order and do something I really wanted to do, so i took out a loan for a course that Im now struggling to pay back and the part time job that i had fell through, so although Im now qualified for my other career, there is no jobs and walking out from this call centre to another, is something ive tried a hundred times with the same result. This isn't the 1st job where ive cried in the morning, Ive tried to make friends in these jobs, but im so unhappy with what i do and for a long time i didn't know how to do anything else and now that i do, there are so many other people better at it than me, that I sometimes don't even know what the point is trying at all. People tell me I persevere and that I'll get there in the end 'cos i don't ever give up and it seems like not only did you do a course yourself, you managed this with another full time job and your kids, so maybe you could do something else related to that career move and get another job 'cos although I know jobs are just there to pay the bills, like someone else said, but at the end of the day, they're so not. They're where we spend the majority of our time and if we spend 40 hours a week where we're so unhappy its affecting us from the minute we wake up. Thats important