Madly in love with best friend

Fonze07

Hi guys,

Was just wondering for a bit of advice with my situation. Basically, i am in love with my best friend and know i will never feel like this about another woman again.

She is married to a guy i work with. I know nothing will ever happen between us but i cant move on. I seriously think about her all the time. We are very good mates and would never want to lose her but i am feeling depressed at the thought i will never be with her. I am deeply depressed and am seriously down over this.

Everytime i spend time with her, it is absolutely fantastic but shortly afterwards i get even more down. She keeps coming out with phrases like "i am the best" and "nicest person she has ever met" etc. While this is nice of her to say so it actually does get me down even more. Why would she say stuff like this when she knows how i feel about her. Any advice guys?

Fonze07

Thanks for advice

VinnyTGM

She is trying to make you feel good about yourself by saying those thing's.
You only think she is the only one for you, pretty soon there will be someone else.

Fonze07

I know i will never feel like this about another woman though. It's seriously effecting me

kjl

Dude, you know nothing is going to happen, grow up and move on.

Carsinian Thau

Fonze07 wrote: »

Hi guys,

Was just wondering for a bit of advice with my situation. Basically, i am in love with my best friend and know i will never feel like this about another woman again.

She is married to a guy i work with. I know nothing will ever happen between us but i cant move on. I seriously think about her all the time. We are very good mates and would never want to lose her but i am feeling depressed at the thought i will never be with her. I am deeply depressed and am seriously down over this.

Everytime i spend time with her, it is absolutely fantastic but shortly afterwards i get even more down. She keeps coming out with phrases like "i am the best" and "nicest person she has ever met" etc. While this is nice of her to say so it actually does get me down even more. Why would she say stuff like this when she knows how i feel about her. Any advice guys?

Fonze07 wrote: »

Thanks for advice

You've waited for less than an hour, be patient.

OT: I was in a similar situation once (actually, I still am). The pain lessens with time. Enough so that you can begin to see yourself with other women at least.

It helps to spend time apart. It's not easy but it really works. Don't make a big deal out of it but if you find a way to make yourself really busy so that you'd be less available to see her, it'd help a lot.

Your last part kinda confuses me tbh. Does she truly know how you feel about her? As in you told her? She may be just trying to make you feel better by saying all those nice things. And trying to lift you out of the depression that you've fallen into. She's your best friend. It's natural for her to want to do so.

Really, the best advice I can give to you is to get time and distance. They're the only things that can properly help you. When you meet someone else (and you will, it might take a while but you will) this will all seem less of a big deal and won't even matter any more.

But from personal experience, be careful how you take this distance. Don't hurt yourself or them in the process.

Fonze07

Cheers Carsinian. So what way do you think i should go about it then? What would you do.

Yes, she does know i love her but she doesn't know how much it gets me down and how depressed i really am about it.

Carsinian Thau

Fonze07 wrote: »

Cheers Carsinian. So what way do you think i should go about it then? What would you do.

Yes, she does know i love her but she doesn't know how much it gets me down and how depressed i really am about it.

I'm not really sure how to advise you to be honest. I was kinda lucky in that she went on holidays for about 3 months and I never saw her. I still don't see her a lot though which probably really helps me keep the attraction at bay. In my case, to lose the attraction, I had to lose her. But you may not want to go that far.

In my original post when I advised making yourself busy, I had "night classes" running around in my head. Stuff like learning an instrument / new language / how to cook / carpentry. It'd give you something to do, get you away from her and give you the chance to meet new people, which is what you really need.

Unrequited love is never easy. And unless you're currently going through it, you won't understand the pain. She only knows that you're depressed and in love with her. She probably thinks that the two are unrelated. It may be best to let her continue thinking that.