think I've ruined everything

LegacyUser

Guys I areally need your advice. Last night while my boyfriend was alseep, I stupidly took his phone from his coat pocket. I took it out of the room to check it, don't realy know why, spur of the moment kinda thing. I have been pretty stressed lately but that's no excuse. Anyway, he woke up after I took it out of his pocket and he proabably guessed from my acting strange that something was up. This morning he got up pretty early and said he was going over to see his mum and then might go out for a bit. He was in a bit of a mood and I'm assuming it's cos he saw me with the phone last night. Now I don't know whether to own up or what to do? I'm so scared that if I admit to it, he'll finish things with me, but thenif he knows what I've done and I don't say anything that's probably worse. It's not that I don't trust him usually, for some reason though last night I took the phone. I'm utterly disgusted with myself for doing it and am so so scared that I've ruined it. What should I do?

sporina

I think you need to really ask yourself though why you took his phone? Honestly..
Do you have reason to doubt him?

That was a major violation of his privacy and he is prob v hurt.. not only by the fact that you took his phone but the reason why you took it.

So he obviously knows you looked at his phone - you need to confront it - but also the reason why you took it.

Gary ITR

Tell him what you wrote here. If he is a reasonable guy he'll forget about it, I would

LegacyUser

I'm so mad at myself for doing it, it's ridiculous. I did it once before cos he went to a party without me and didn't come home until the following night but even still he went through the roof. I'm so scared that he's going to break up with me over it. I've been thinking about why I did it this morning and I can't make any sense of it, it was a spur of the moment thing. I think I might have some sort of trust problem or something, I don't know. I'm in tears when I'm writiing this because he is everything to me. I am under extra stress at the minute but I don't know if that's why I did it. Oh god, I'm so scared.

Shin Bet

op I notice your "nome de guerre" is messed up again
Is there more of a background to this than just checking his phone or is it not the first time?

LegacyUser

Yes it happened earlier this year and my bf hit the roof

Moomoo1

he could be in a mood for any number of reasons... just let it lie unless he brings it up

sporina

messedupagain wrote: »

I'm so mad at myself for doing it, it's ridiculous. I did it once before cos he went to a party without me and didn't come home until the following night but even still he went through the roof. I'm so scared that he's going to break up with me over it. I've been thinking about why I did it this morning and I can't make any sense of it, it was a spur of the moment thing. I think I might have some sort of trust problem or something, I don't know. I'm in tears when I'm writiing this because he is everything to me. I am under extra stress at the minute but I don't know if that's why I did it. Oh god, I'm so scared.

have you spoke to him?
do you know if he defo knows you had his phone?
do ye live together?
surely ye can talk about it?
are there other problems in the relationship?

LegacyUser

I haven't said anything to him about it yet. We're basically living together (he spends most of his time at my place), he left this morning early saying he was going over to his folks place. I don't know for sure that he did see me take the phone. The only way I'll know is by asking him. Question is should I wait to see what his mood is like this week or should I be open and honest about it and just tell him what happened? I'd like to admit that I did it but I'm so afraid that it might ruin what we have. Despite how it might look, we have a great relationship. The problem is from my side and a possible trust issue from years ago, it's not just with him I think I have a problem trusting people in general. I do trust him though more than anyone else but my trouble is it doesn't look that way from what I've done. I'm so scared that if I do bring it up and he hadn't seen me take the phone, I might be vreating a huge row over nothing.

Chucky the tree

Don't tell him. If you do after your previous I'd be well pissed off and probably finish it if I was in his shoes. If he brings it up tell him, but otherwise don't mention it.

wylo

Op, if he really hit the roof last time the way your saying he did surely he would have said something this morning. Have you ever seen him in that kinda mood before, maybe he was just in a bad mood.
See what hes like when he gets back, if he knows and doesnt bring it up, then you've to wonder what his agenda is.
If he doesnt know then its grand, just leave it off.