Help with neighbours sons calling to my house constantly

useful_contacts

Not a big deal compared to some probs here

My partner and i have just moved into our new house. Been here almost a month

I know my neighbours on my left as they are family friends, but on the right live a family with 2 young sons, ones 4 and ones 7. These two little boys are calling to my house 3 times a day asking can they play with my cat.

Now my cat is not used to children and he doesnt like being picked up and pulled out of(which kids do) and im worried he could scratch them.He had scratched me plenty of times and im his owner.I told them this and that im not having their mother calling in here eating me if my cat scratches them. But they keep calling 3 times a day "Can we see your cat, can we play with your cat"

Yesterday they stayed at the door 5 mins just asking "why cant we play with your cat" My in- laws were down at the time and they wouldnt go away from the door.

Should i have a word with their mother? If so how should i word it, i know thay are only kids but its getting beyond a joke when they call 3 times a day sometimes a half an hour after they called last.

seahorse

You'll just have to be direct here OP. You have to approach the mother, explain the situation and she'll put a stop to it. I'm a mother and if I found out my son was at that all the time (well, when he was younger, it'd be a bit strange if he was at it now at nearly sixteen, ha ha) I'd be very embarassed and put a stop to it immediately. I think most parents would.

snowy2008

tell them the cats got a bit of a tummy bug and a skin infection and cant play today, they will definatly tell their mam and she wont be letting the kids anywhere near the cat, its just a little white lie and no one gets hurt

JonathanAnon

Depends, I would think, on your relationship with the mother. I think maybe the best thing to do would be to ask her to tell her kids not to come around asking about the cat, as you are worried about the cat scratching them. You could fabricate some anecdotal evidence of how the cat scratched someone else to substantiate your argument. Other than that I would just stop answering the door to them.

It's the sort of stupid thing that could escalate into years of not getting on if not handled carefully though. My brother lives in a housing estate and you wouldnt believe the stupid things his neighbours have arguments over.

useful_contacts

snowy2008 wrote: »

tell them the cats got a bit of a tummy bug and a skin infection and cant play today, they will definatly tell their mam and she wont be letting the kids anywhere near the cat, its just a little white lie and no one gets hurt

yesterday i told them the cat was sick and i was not letting him out and they still stood there and asked "but why cant we come in and see him, we wont touch him

they even asked me to leave the cat in the porch so they could look at him! My FIL eventually came out and said "Boys the cats sick now go home" and they went

But FIL not here now:( Im worried about how would i word it to their mother, do i starts with i dont want them getting scratched- or that they constantly calling...

But then theres also the chance she wouldnt believe me, i dont wanna be making enemys of my neighbours

John Mason

LOL, the same thing happens to my friend but her cat in an indoor cat.

everytime the children call she just tells them, she is having her dinner, getting ready for bed, having a bath etc.

eventually, they just got bored and went away

seamus

I'd go with the above. We used to have the same thing with neighbour's kids calling in when I was a teenager, but our dog didn't like getting crowded. So we just kept telling them that the dog was busy; sleeping, eating, out walking, whatever. After a few days they go bored and didn't bother calling.

Don't negotiate with kids; If they ask why, you say, "Because" You can also be far more direct with them - kids have no real concept of rudeness and they won't be offended by a simple, "No you can't, goodbye" and closing of the door.

Taltos

Strange really - if this was an adult calling to your door like this you'd be onto the cops for stalking

Anyhoos - chat to the mum.
But continue on as you want from here on out.
Only answer the door if you have to.
Do not engage in discussions, no reasons - no nothing.
Just say "No" and close the door.

Unfortunately being friendly or polite is not getting through - they are kids after all. Ideally their mum should stop them, but if not then explain to her that you do not like the constant interruptions, irrespective if your cat will scratch them or not.

I have a cat - and man - it would freak me out no end (and my cat) if neighbours were constantly around to play with it.

Colonel_McCoy

Politely say it to their mother.

useful_contacts

Taltos wrote: »

Strange really - if this was an adult calling to your door like this you'd be onto the cops for stalking

Anyhoos - chat to the mum.
But continue on as you want from here on out.
Only answer the door if you have to.
Do not engage in discussions, no reasons - no nothing.
Just say "No" and close the door.

Unfortunately being friendly or polite is not getting through - they are kids after all. Ideally their mum should stop them, but if not then explain to her that you do not like the constant interruptions, irrespective if your cat will scratch them or not.

I have a cat - and man - it would freak me out no end (and my cat) if neighbours were constantly around to play with it.

they 2nd day of living here they called because "your cat went into our garden - is it ok if we play with him" But now its at the door

Them: Wheres your cat
Me :Hes outside playing (its normally true)
Them:Can we come in and play with him
Me hes not here hes outside
Them:but we cant see him out here
Me well hes out there
Them:If we come back in a while can we play with him
Me No i have to go away
Them:Can we mind him when you go away

This is the normal discussion- when i say no its another question after another.

Also if i go to the mother what if she says "Well keep your cat out of my garden so- like i cant control where he goes

Miss Fluff

Easy knowing I don't have kids, was going to suggest you tell them that the cat died:D

I agree with the above,

a. either tell the mother the cat has a tendency to scratch and you'd prefer the kids didn't play with it

b. you never let the kids play with the cat again by having an excuse at the erady each time they come to the door. They will soon grow tired and stop calling

seamus

useful_contacts wrote: »

Also if i go to the mother what if she says "Well keep your cat out of my garden so- like i cant control where he goes

Don't worry about it. You'll know she's an idiot then.
You're not required to keep your cat under control as you would have to a dog.

But don't worry about it becoming confrontational. I doubt it will. The kids were probably pestering their mother asking, "can we play with the cat", so she just said, "Go in and ask them next door first".

useful_contacts

ok ill pop in to the house in a few monutes and say it to her

wish me luck

dmy1001

Am I reading this right...your cat went into their garden but you are now going to tell them not to touch it as it scratches!
If i were your neighbour I would have an issue with this! Why should she allow your animal into her garden if it could harm her kids?
Responsible people do keep their cats under control.......otherwise puss may just disappear!

dmy1001

useful_contacts wrote: »

they 2nd day of living here they called because "your cat went into our garden - is it ok if we play with him" But now its at the door

.

Also if i go to the mother what if she says "Well keep your cat out of my garden so- like i cant control where he goes

this is what i read

seamus

dmy1001 wrote: »

If i were your neighbour I would have an issue with this! Why should she allow your animal into her garden if it could harm her kids?

If the neighbour is concerned about the effect of a cat on her children, then the neighbour should take steps to prevent animals from entering her garden.

The key here is that there is a very simple remedy - tell the kids to stay away from the cat. The cat will mind its own business, it's not like it's going to start chasing the kids.

Responsible people do keep their cats under control.......otherwise puss may just disappear!

There is no legal onus on cat owners to keep their animal under control. Wrong or right, it recognises that keeping a cat under control is neither easy nor desirable as doing so could cause a cat to become violent and ill-tempered - the very thing you're seeking to avoid!

As I say above, the reasonable remedy is to just tell the kids to leave the cat alone. It requires little or no effort from either party because the cat won't be actively seeking attention.

dmy1001

Like I said responsible people keep their belongings and animals from interfering with others.....law or no law! Just because it is the law does not mean it is right.

omahaid

dmy1001 wrote: »

Like I said responsible people keep their belongings and animals from interfering with others.....law or no law! Just because it is the law does not mean it is right.

You should add children to that list above, responsible people keep their belongings, animals and children from interfering from others...law or no law!

But to answer the OP, keep saying no, the children will get bored. But, keep an eye on your cat, young kids can be incredibly cruel to animals, especially if they do not like the owner.

Miaireland

How did you get on OP?

I had the same problem when I moved into my house. In the end I had to call over to the kids parents and explain that much as I liked their kids I would prefer if they didn't call over uninvited. I explained that I found it very distracting from my work.

bronte

dmy1001 wrote: »

Like I said responsible people keep their belongings and animals from interfering with others.....law or no law! Just because it is the law does not mean it is right.

Um perhaps the Parents of the kids next door should follow that rule too.
Op, if it were me I would just not bother answering the door to them in future.

useful_contacts

I called in and no answer- curtians were closed at 2 o clock in the day - Nice!

Half an hour later they called- I told them v firmly that if they called again i was going to speak with their mother- to which they answered "You dont know who our mother is"

I warned them if they called again id be calling in to their mother because i dont have time to be answerin the door to them every 5 minutes

OH and for the guy who said i should keep my cat under control- HES A CAT!!! what you want me to do lock him in the house all the time thats called cruelty - look it up! And my cat went in to their garden ONCE! that compared to the 3 times a day they call to me and Im the bad guy???

snowy2008

good woman, bet you feel better now they sound like really cheeky kids

mood

dmy1001 wrote: »

Am I reading this right...your cat went into their garden but you are now going to tell them not to touch it as it scratches!
If i were your neighbour I would have an issue with this! Why should she allow your animal into her garden if it could harm her kids?
Responsible people do keep their cats under control.......otherwise puss may just disappear!

The OP has a problem with the kids at her door 3 times a day and wanting to come in. She just wants an excuse to get rid of them and I don't blame her.

Any responsible mother wouldn't want her kids in a strangers house. Tell har as she might not know that this is going on.

tbh

useful_contacts wrote: »

I called in and no answer- curtians were closed at 2 o clock in the day - Nice!

/sympathy

mood

Miaireland wrote: »

How did you get on OP?

I had the same problem when I moved into my house. In the end I had to call over to the kids parents and explain that much as I liked their kids I would prefer if they didn't call over uninvited. I explained that I found it very distracting from my work.

Good idea. Pretend you work from home sometimes (even if you don't) and this is effecting your concentration. I would also just not answer the door to them. If you do just firmly say no, the cat doesn't like being handled by anyone but you and you family. Always have an excuse and they will get fed up.

tbh

mood wrote: »

Good idea. Pretend you work from home sometimes (even if you don't) and this is effecting your concentration. I would also just not answer the door to them. If you do just firmly say no, the cat doesn't like being handled by anyone but you and you family. Always have an excuse and they will get fed up.

or just tell them the truth - "sorry kids, the cat doesn't really like to play. Maybe you could ask your mammy for a kitten?"

Taltos

OP - jeez.
Wonder if they are being left alone all day now...
You know - parents off working - kids at home.

Weird.
When you do speak to the mom - v v important to remain friendly - big smile etc....

Make it clear that you like kids - but it is just too much of a distraction having her kids at your door all day.
In terms of your conversation example above here is my take.

Kids call to door: Can we play with cat?
You: No - close door and ignore all further knocks.


As to the warning re kids and animals - v good one...

j1974

useful_contacts wrote: »

Not a big deal compared to some probs here

My partner and i have just moved into our new house. Been here almost a month

I know my neighbours on my left as they are family friends, but on the right live a family with 2 young sons, ones 4 and ones 7. These two little boys are calling to my house 3 times a day asking can they play with my cat.

Now my cat is not used to children and he doesnt like being picked up and pulled out of(which kids do) and im worried he could scratch them.He had scratched me plenty of times and im his owner.I told them this and that im not having their mother calling in here eating me if my cat scratches them. But they keep calling 3 times a day "Can we see your cat, can we play with your cat"

Yesterday they stayed at the door 5 mins just asking "why cant we play with your cat" My in- laws were down at the time and they wouldnt go away from the door.

Should i have a word with their mother? If so how should i word it, i know thay are only kids but its getting beyond a joke when they call 3 times a day sometimes a half an hour after they called last.

Easy way out of this with some wordplay. tell their father that they keep calling round askin to stroke your pussy!!!
Problem solved

act all indignant and embarrassed. youre not lying just using a different venacular...

Pretty_Pistol

dmy1001 wrote: »

Am I reading this right...your cat went into their garden but you are now going to tell them not to touch it as it scratches!
If i were your neighbour I would have an issue with this! Why should she allow your animal into her garden if it could harm her kids?
Responsible people do keep their cats under control!

Cats roam, it's what they do. They're not dogs. You can't teach them not to enter someones garden. The point is the cat is fine with kids the OP just needs an excuse to stop the kids from calling around to her house constantly.

dmy1001 wrote: »

otherwise puss may just disappear!

Lovely. :rolleyes:

useful_contacts wrote: »

Half an hour later they called- I told them v firmly that if they called again i was going to speak with their mother- to which they answered "You dont know who our mother is"

I warned them if they called again id be calling in to their mother because i dont have time to be answerin the door to them every 5 minutes

Cheeky fe<kers. I would suggest you no longer answer the door or engage with the kids whatsoever (only if the parents are around). When the parents are home pop over and politely say they have lovely kids but your cat isn't use to children and has been known to scratch out of fear of them.

Wibbs

j1974 Helpful posts please. Anything else is against the charter of this forum. Thanks.

xzanti

Tell the mother that the cat was rescued from an ISPCA shelter and was previously abused and is extremely hostile, maybe include how he scratched out the eyes of a rottweiler once.. She won't be long about keeping her little angels away also makes you look like a hero OP

Taltos

Please keep at the top of your mind though to be v friendly with the mum.
She controls the kids - and having her onside is vital here.

Depending on how approached I am sure she will not mind - might be a little mortified - but should be ok with her kids not bothering the neighbours.
Gawd for all she knows you could be some weirdo (no not going near the white collars all..) but seriously - she might appreciate the heads-up.

dan_d

As a cat owner.......I defy anyone to keep a cat from doing whatever the hell it wants, unless you lock it up all day long. dmy1001, I'm assuming you don't have a whole lot of experience of cats - they do whatever suits them and heed nobody.
Anyway, OP I'd have stopped answering the door to those pests a long time ago.Kids keep pushing and pushing, testing limits. Bear in mind that you're the adult. If you say no, that's it. You don't have to make excuses for yourself. They know full well that they are not behaving well - either that or nobody has ever told them how to behave. Just no. And don't ring again, because I won't be answering the door next time. Now mind your fingers in the hinge, and goodbye.
You are the adult. Not them.

DubLass

Dont answer the door to them, they'll soon get bored

ncmc

I have to say OP, I would be slow to talk to the mother about this. It's all very well in theory but people can be very odd when their children are involved and no matter how friendly or light hearted you keep the conversation, she may very well get insulted and bear a grudge. I would agree with the previous few posters, avoid opening the door if possible and if you do have to answer it, just say 'No' and close the door. Do not engage them in conversation or answer their questions.

I had a similar problem with the kids in our estate wanting to play with my dog and I soon learned that being rude and abrupt was the only way to deal with it. They will soon get bored. Good luck!

Lollipops23

jeez i'd be concerned that she has no problem letting her kids wander off to stranger's houses...that's seriously weird.

But as another poster said, kids really don't share the same concept of rudeness as adults, and shutting the door in their faces should do the trick. They also seem like cheeky little runts:" You don't know who our mother is"?!I'd never have spoken to an adult (and one I didn't know!) like that when I was a kid.

Darthhoob

i'd just say my cat is evil and likes to eat young children (i love cats with attitudes though )...but then i've never been PC as far as sugercoating things for kids go LOL

we had a similar problem with neighbours kids when we first moved here....knocking several times a day for my son, coming into the house asking for food ALL the time. was nice for my son to have friends (so i thought lol) but was just tooooo much. have to say that i ignored them in the end...but i dont think that went down too well with their parents tbh. i should have spoken to them but i kinda found it hard back then to talk to people :rolleyes:

dmy1001

Pretty_Pistol wrote: »

Cats roam, it's what they do. They're not dogs. You can't teach them not to enter someones garden. The point is the cat is fine with kids the OP just needs an excuse to stop the kids from calling around to her house constantly.



Lovely. :rolleyes:




Cheeky fe<kers. I would suggest you no longer answer the door or engage with the kids whatsoever (only if the parents are around). When the parents are home pop over and politely say they have lovely kids but your cat isn't use to children and has been known to scratch out of fear of them.

which is the reason i guess that most rescues now will only rehome cats to indoor only homes...they roam and get knocked down, hurt by dogs or increasingly get hurt by neighbours who do not want someone elses cat peeing on their lettuces! I know plenty of folks who have used pellet guns or slingshots against cats entering their property.
Basically in my mind it is not fair to cats to allow them to roam free especially in urban environs.
Stopping the kids knocking on the door would be simple then....puss does not like kids anymore, puss moved out etc etc
Not answering the door is always an option.

Nevyn

Let's not have this thread turn into a debate on indoor vs outdoor cats, we have the pets and animals forum for that debate.

I would be telling the kids that the cat doesn't like playing with children and he will not be coming out to play. After that don't answer the door the next few times.

tommy21

dmy1001 wrote: »

Am I reading this right...your cat went into their garden but you are now going to tell them not to touch it as it scratches!
If i were your neighbour I would have an issue with this! Why should she allow your animal into her garden if it could harm her kids?
Responsible people do keep their cats under control.......otherwise puss may just disappear!

The op was looking for advice, not a lecture.

SarahSassy

They are awful young to be out wandering - the kids I mean, not the cat...

Lumen

Funny thread. Have you tried actually talking to the kids?

"The cat doesn't like being picked up and pulled at. He gets scared easily, and when he gets scared he can scratch you. He even scratches me sometimes. I don't want him to be scared, and I don't want you to get hurt, so I'd rather you didn't play with him.".

This may need repeating, but probably only a couple of times. Children are not stupid, they're just self-centred and need things explained to them clearly.

My youngest (age 2) is not yet the sharpest tool in the box, but is quite capable of understanding that her brother's snake is not for taking out and playing with, because she will hurt it. At ages 4 and 7 they'll have no problem understanding the issue.

If you dislike their mother, you could add:

"Ask your mother to buy you a cat for Christmas. If she loves you she'll do it".

:pac:

Enii

I wouldn't recommend talking to the mother just yet. Parents can at times get very upset when told certain things about their kids.

I would just stop answering the door.

If you do answer the door just say, sorry you can't play with the cat. Go to close the door, if they ask why, ignore the question and just say you are in the middle of a phone call and have to go. Promptly close the door and don't answer it again!!!! They'll get the hint.

A poster above has said that children aren't stupid that they just need to be be talked to etc. In fairnes, these kids don't sound stupid - they sound a bit bold to me. And they also sound unsupervised - not a good idea with kids!

useful_contacts

Lumen wrote: »

Funny thread. Have you tried actually talking to the kids?

"The cat doesn't like being picked up and pulled at. He gets scared easily, and when he gets scared he can scratch you. He even scratches me sometimes. I don't want him to be scared, and I don't want you to get hurt, so I'd rather you didn't play with him.".




:pac:

i have said this constantly believe me - i showed him my arm where the cat scratched me when i tried to bathe him but to no avail.

I have ignored them and not answered them but then they start looking in the windows to see am i there

they called LAST NIGHT (IN THE DARK) a half an hour after i got home and i just lost it. I told them this is their last warning to stop calling to my door and i slammed it shut.

was expecting their parents to come storing over but they didnt- i figure enough is enough you know, but i have a funny feeling that they will be at the door again today.

mood

Either don't open the door or say 'No' firmly and close the door. If you give in once it will continue.

LegacyUser

can you not ask the parents to get the a cat of their own? Then they would have a cat to play with, which seems what they want, without knocking on your door.

useful_contacts

Turns out only 1 of the boys lives next door , the other lives across the road

i spoke to the parents of 1 of the boys today- he apoligised and said he would make sure his son didnt come near my house again, i went to the other house but no answer but the other neighbour must have told them i called because they boys didnt come near here today

LegacyUser

useful_contacts wrote: »

Turns out only 1 of the boys lives next door , the other lives across the road

i spoke to the parents of 1 of the boys today- he apoligised and said he would make sure his son didnt come near my house again, i went to the other house but no answer but the other neighbour must have told them i called because they boys didnt come near here today

you put the cat among the pigeons so to speak?

LegacyUser

useful_contacts wrote: »

Turns out only 1 of the boys lives next door , the other lives across the road

i spoke to the parents of 1 of the boys today- he apoligised and said he would make sure his son didnt come near my house again, i went to the other house but no answer but the other neighbour must have told them i called because they boys didnt come near here today

Good stuff OP, i hope relief is on the way! Just keep going to the parents and have zero tolerance for it. Just goes to show that the parents are not aware of where their kids were!

krudler

Next time tell them you know for a fact that Santa is bringing them cats of their own, then laugh to yourself as the little ****s are devastated on christmas morning, and they resent their parents for the rest of their lives, sweet revenge

niceoneted

Just don't answer the door if they call.