My ex is being horrible

LegacyUser

I very stupidly went out with a guy (more of a fling really, in hindsight) I worked with and needless to say it didn't end well, it was a messy ending and I really hated him for a while.
Anyway, a couple of weeks after we broke up finally, I met a guy at a party, we hit it off and we've been together seven months, we're very much in love and have discussed the future a lot-I really think he is "the one".
There is one problem that is bugging me. My ex and I agreed to remain friends for appearances sake and we have been hanging out a little-I thought we were getting along fine and I put my initial hatred of him aside. However I have noticed over the past two weeks he has basically ignored me, no casual texts and no suggestions of having a coffee (we'd usually have done this about twice a week), in fact I think he is being a real dick. I don't know if he is aware that I'm in a new relationship or not, because I haven't told him and I don't really discuss my personal life in work so I don't think anyone else would have told him.
I need some advice on whether I should talk to him about this or even how I would bring it up. I want us to get along because we work together and for the sake of a happy life, I'm willing to work out a problem if there is one. I wonder why he's being like this. Nothing has changed, we know we don't work as a couple so I know he is not thinking about getting back together. Even if he knew I had someone new, I don't think it would bother him because he told me when we got together he didn't do long-termers, so why would it annoy him or change his feelings about me.
Should I talk to him about this or just leave it? I really need help.

Nevyn

Leave him alone, if he wanted to be your friend he would be, don't try to force contact from him so you can feel better about yourself and things ending.

krudler

Maybe he's met someone else and doesnt want to still be friends with you? I cant do the staying friends with an ex thing, especially with someone who only wanted to do it "for appearances" , you've moved on, you're presumably happy, let him be the same without worrying about whats going on in his head

Sarah W

Assuming you are not in the public eye what do appearances matter? It strikes me you are far more concerned about what the ex (who you don't seem to even like) thinks and feels. Why is that?

How would you feel about your 'one' meeting with an ex as (presumably) an ego boost whilst not mentioning you? Even after seven months?

Stop worrying about your ego/persona/possibly wounded pride and concentrate on the partner you profess you what to be with.

berger28

I cant understand why your bothered, when you say you moved on....doesnt sound like you have. If i split up with someone, i would remain on good terms with them, doesnt mean you have to meet them for coffee twice a week. you only need to be pleasant to the person, not be their friend. Stop thinking about this other guy and concentrate on your relationship.

DubLass

Err whats the problem, you dont like him and hes leaving you alone, move on

rallye

You still have "a thing" for your ex, if you didnt i wouldnt even be replying to your message because it wouldnt exist.

brendansmith

unreg unreg wrote: »

There is one problem that is bugging me. My ex and I agreed to remain friends for appearances sake and we have been hanging out a little-I thought we were getting along fine and I put my initial hatred of him aside. However I have noticed over the past two weeks he has basically ignored me, no casual texts and no suggestions of having a coffee (we'd usually have done this about twice a week.

You hate him but are getting upset because he is not asking you to have coffee with him.

Just leave him alone.

AnonoBoy

How is he being horrible?

He sounds like he's moving on and realises that there's no reason for you two to hang out.

Why are you so worried about being friends with him considering you said you had to put your initial hatred of him aside?

You can't be everyone's friend and nobody expects you to be.