Wife on Holidays

sold

We had #2 4 months ago, My wife was under the weather so I sent her on holidays with her friends and I took time off work to be with the kids. (would not be much of a holiday for her looking after kids)

I think housewives are saints, saints I tell you, it's bloody hard work being at home with 2 kids all day. The house is a complete mess, I will have to do some serious cleaning before she comes back.

How do women do it all day?

louisa200

oh sold, good for you, i dont know how we do it, i am at the end of my tether, have three kids, havent had a break in years, depressed and generally pissed off with life, if my man did what you did maybe things would be better, so well done you for being so caring, and get scrubbing lol x

being at home is so repetitive, it really can.. i find somedays i just dont wanna get up, friends forget about you... i was in town today with 2 of my kids to cheer myself up but it just made me worse, anyone i met talking about their night out tonight or what they are doing, and i just dont have any conversation, cause i am at home with three kids, two babies, and its like people think well she is too busy so i wont ever phone her or ask her out cause she cant come anyway.. i am so sad today, as a mother and housewife, and your post has made me a bit sadder (sorry) cause i know my partner wouldnt do what you have done xxx

MAB83

Poor Louisa

Talk to him, maybe he doesn't realise how tough it is for you. It sounds like you really deserve a break.

Khannie

Sold: I have no idea. I couldn't do it. Seriously.

Louisa: Are there other mums near you? A coffee and a chinwag can really make a difference to your day.

It's worth considering the internet as a source of contact too. Drop into the parenting forum (or check out rollercoaster.ie ... my wife loves it... has made some great friends on there). Have a rant in the parenting forum though. Ask for suggestions. etc. It's a good spot.

Nevyn

We do it cos it has to be done, because ususally no one else will do it or that most partners don't know how much work it is or how repetative, the endless cycle of chores can be such a grind. It feels like you only get the washing all sorted and it's time to start again, it's a constant threadmill, picking up after everyone in the house and cooking and cleaning and being with the kids full tiime.

sold

Well a friend of ours (a mother) commited suicide some years ago, she was depressed and her life was at home. (hard to speculate on the real root cause) From then on I always made sure my wife got out with friends every week and took holidays when she could. I think being at home all the time is too much for a person for sure you need to get out.

we have a baby so from 3 months (after the breast feeding stopped) I do all the night feeds. But now being on my own no sooner has the baby gone to bed then my 3 year old is awake because she has a cough. I really can't imagine doing this all day. but my wife does. For sure it easier to bring up kids with both parents doing their equal share.

sold

louisa200 wrote: »

i was in town today with 2 of my kids to cheer myself up but it just made me worse, anyone i met talking about their night out tonight or what they are doing

I tried going into town with the kids, but it was a nightmare, Daddy I want, I want, I want.... & 4 month old baby crying. it was terrible. My 3yo Girl is good in general, but she plays up with me. For sure Housewives need time off. 2 to 3 nights a week at least out with friends or to the gym. You would go insane at home all the time.

My wife has a good circle of friends and the all meet up for coffee anyway during the day. but having to juggle kids is not easy.

metrovelvet

sold wrote: »

Well a friend of ours (a mother) commited suicide some years ago, she was depressed and her life was at home. (hard to speculate on the real root cause) From then on I always made sure my wife got out with friends every week and took holidays when she could. I think being at home all the time is too much for a person for sure you need to get out.

we have a baby so from 3 months (after the breast feeding stopped) I do all the night feeds. But now being on my own no sooner has the baby gone to bed then my 3 year old is awake because she has a cough. I really can't imagine doing this all day. but my wife does. For sure it easier to bring up kids with both parents doing their equal share.

Welcome to single parenting.

Victor

sold, do you have anyone to help you during the holiday?

I had my sister's 4 (ages 1, 8, 11, 13) for a weekend. How they or I didn't kill any of them or me is a miracle.

Jesus Wept

Khannie wrote: »

Sold: I have no idea. I couldn't do it. Seriously.

Louisa: Are there other mums near you? A coffee and a chinwag can really make a difference to your day.

It's worth considering the internet as a source of contact too. Drop into the parenting forum (or check out rollercoaster.ie ... my wife loves it... has made some great friends on there). Have a rant in the parenting forum though. Ask for suggestions. etc. It's a good spot.

Or try magicmum

My sister (mum of 2) has made a lot of new friends since having kids through the site, they meet up on a regular basis with and without the kids.

Nevyn

I couldn't stand magic mum or eumum, found them very cliquey and critical if you had a different opinion, they were the reason I asked for the parenting forum on boards to be created and it tries to be more inclusive and less twee.

Jesus Wept

Ah I see, that's a pity. I don't have any personal experiece of it.
To the parenting forum! Best of luck OP.

watna

I was only thinking about this today. It's just me and my OH at our place, we both work full-time but apart from that we have no responsibilites. The house is a tip. I'll do a big clean and then a few hours later it's like a bomb-site again. I'll wash all the clothes and then there'll be clothes everywhere again. Was thinking earlier about how on earth I would do it if I was home all day with a baby and trying to keep on top of things. I don't know how I'm going to do it! Stay-at-home mums deserve a medal - seriously. My aunt always said giving up work and staying at home with her kids was the best weight loss tool ever because you run around all day!

OP, fair play for looking after your wife like that. She's lucky to have you.

How Strange

sold wrote: »

But now being on my own no sooner has the baby gone to bed then my 3 year old is awake because she has a cough. I really can't imagine doing this all day. but my wife does. For sure it easier to bring up kids with both parents doing their equal share.

When my sister had baby #2, our family bought them flights and a hotel for a weekend away and I volunteered to babysit for 3 nights.

Like you, the baby who was about 18 months would just be fed, watered and changed when the older one would want this, that and the other. I'd go to bed at night and not sleep properly because I was afraid if the baby woke up I wouldn't hear him, they got up at 7.30 in the morning and for 3 days I did nothing but run after 2 kids. I was exhausted by the end of it. And those were two unbelievably well behaved kids so I can't imagine what hyper kids would be like. :eek:

It certainly gave me a respect for women who stay at home to look after their children full time. It's definitely harder than a day in the office.

Libertewhite

Women can do miracles! I'm stuck with my nephew, don't look after him and yet I find it hard! So fair play to those mothers stuck at home with kids
you all deserve a medal!!

MAB83

Good on ya sold, your wife is a lucky lady with you but I'm sure she deserves all the breaks she gets.

louisa200

Hi again, thanks for the suggestions... magicmum and mumsnet etc arent for me either, i find there is a group of woman who think they run these places, are so rude at times and on the high horse about general parenting. When i did go on it I actully found I felt worse..
I go on netmums in the uk, dont ask me why but i think it is because it is not irish or cliquey so they have totally different rants...
I do feel a bit better today, I think having two babies so close together was my downfall lol
I have been on housework strike for a few days (well in general on strike lol) so am starting just now after this to clean it all up... after i posted what i said i decided i was feeling sorry for myself and to not wait for friends to come to me (I think they always think i am too busy etc) so invited a friend out for dinner tomorrow which means I have a purpose to tidy the house which helps lol
My patner does try, but i suppose the little green eyed monster does show up when you are at home with kids and other people are having holidays and social lives, it does get easier so im told as they get older lol
ah well, better stop raving and get the dyson out.. the washing pile is near taking up half a room and I need to go on the hunt for those little bits of half eaten toast the babies find inventive places to stash.. big up to all the parents, they come in for alot of stick on boards.ie sometimes xxx

Kooli

I agree with all this, I just don't know why stay-at-home mum's don't get the credit they deserve.

I don't think it would necessarily make the job any easier, but it's shocking that such a hard and important job is seen as 'less than' or some sort of 'opt out' for women who don't want to go to work. It IS work!!! It's MORE than a full time job!

I'm not a mum, so I'm not speaking from experience, but when the time comes I hope the work I do will be appreciated!

Rev. BlueJeans

Mrs. BlueJeans is a stay at home mum, and although it took her a couple of years to work out a system for herself and her day, she's now flying it.

It's far from easy though (as with building a career of course), for me when I take over, as opposed to helping out, the main problem is the routine and monotony, which must be very hard from day to day.

Fair play on stepping into the breech OP, she deserves a holiday just like anyone. You've reminded me to organise something for the new year to get herself away for a bit. I'll talk to some of her gfs, but most of them are now either having babies of their own, or in the process of, so it won't be easy

carolinespring

louisa200 wrote: »

oh sold, good for you, i dont know how we do it, i am at the end of my tether, have three kids, havent had a break in years, depressed and generally pissed off with life, if my man did what you did maybe things would be better, so well done you for being so caring, and get scrubbing lol x

being at home is so repetitive, it really can.. i find somedays i just dont wanna get up, friends forget about you... i was in town today with 2 of my kids to cheer myself up but it just made me worse, anyone i met talking about their night out tonight or what they are doing, and i just dont have any conversation, cause i am at home with three kids, two babies, and its like people think well she is too busy so i wont ever phone her or ask her out cause she cant come anyway.. i am so sad today, as a mother and housewife, and your post has made me a bit sadder (sorry) cause i know my partner wouldnt do what you have done xxx

I just want to say to you have a chat with your OH and tell him how hard you are finding it. Maybe family could take the kids and the 2 of you could get away for a weekend.

C x

Ickle Magoo

louisa200 wrote: »

I do feel a bit better today, I think having two babies so close together was my downfall lol
I have been on housework strike for a few days (well in general on strike lol) so am starting just now after this to clean it all up... after i posted what i said i decided i was feeling sorry for myself and to not wait for friends to come to me (I think they always think i am too busy etc) so invited a friend out for dinner tomorrow which means I have a purpose to tidy the house which helps lol
My patner does try, but i suppose the little green eyed monster does show up when you are at home with kids and other people are having holidays and social lives, it does get easier so im told as they get older lol
ah well, better stop raving and get the dyson out.. the washing pile is near taking up half a room and I need to go on the hunt for those little bits of half eaten toast the babies find inventive places to stash.. big up to all the parents, they come in for alot of stick on boards.ie sometimes xxx

I hear you missus, 15 months between my two...yikes! It does get easier as they get older & if you can get out to a mother & toddler group or similar then do. I know sometimes just leaving the house is a mammoth operation but you feel so much better for getting out the house & a bit of human contact and they are a great place to meet some friends in same boat.

Maybe consider doing a course or two, I'm studying with the OU & even tho some days I can't keep my eyes open long enough to study, it feels great to do something for me and that doesn't involve cooking, cleaning or childcare - and of course the parenting forum on Boards is always good for a few hours respite! :D