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In the Cellar: trout
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28-11-2009 07:33AM#1(spoken in the style of an investigative journalist. Think Kent Brockman or Alan Whicker. Just not Anne Doyle)
Good evening and welcome to In the Cellar. The section of BGRH where we put various personalities from the site into the spotlight and allow you, the viewers, to ask them the questions you have always wanted to ask.
Our first guest tonight is a man who is a stalwart of all things manly. He is well known on this forum for his musings on various matters of importance to the Brotherhood, he has been known to write the occasional ditty to much hilarity and of recent has branched out into other forums of a more serious nature. He has regaled us with memorable quotes from his late father and, unbeknownst to many people, is in fact a rocket scientist.*
I refer, of course, to Brother trout.
So, without further ado, I open this session of In the Cellar, trout, by asking your views on the following:
(1) In one word or less, how would you describe yourself
(2) Given the current economic crisis, do you agree that removing all taxes on beer would act as a stimulant for the economy, putting everybody in a good mood and pull this country out of recession?
(3) Following on from point (2) above, do you feel that an equal, if not greater, reduction in pork prices would have an equally stimulating effect on the economy?
*may contain some inaccuracies0
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OK. Here goes. Can't put this off any longer.
1) In one word or less, how would you describe yourself
Hmmm. Lugubrious ... or possibly tachyphagic.(2) Given the current economic crisis, do you agree that removing all taxes on beer would act as a stimulant for the economy, putting everybody in a good mood and pull this country out of recession?
People much smarter than me in the field of economics are banging on about "you can't tax yore way out of a recession". I would like to attempt, using beer, to drink my way out of a recession ... it would be a noble gesture I'm sure.(3) Following on from point (2) above, do you feel that an equal, if not greater, reduction in pork prices would have an equally stimulating effect on the economy?
Have to be careful here ... an oversupply of pork could lead to the Brothers getting very satisfied with themselves, quite lazy and indolent, unable to move any great distance and doing away with any aggressive or exciteable tendencies they might ... um *shakes head* ... nevermind. Yeah ... I'm all for it.0 -
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Brother trout, by now the musings of Pa trout are legendary, but what is the single best piece of advice he ever gave you?
"Never trust a man, even though he be yore brother, if his hair and his beard, they differ in colour". That one has never let me down. *sniff*We all know that beer and pork are man's two greatest inventions. As the most renowned scientist on this forum, what do you consider to be the third greatest?
Easy. Remote controls.Where do you stand on the thorny issue of men wearing aprons?
Man ... apron
Can't say I've ever thought about men and aprons all that much. Nope. Still ... whatever floats yore haberdashery boat.Finally, the question that has taxed great minds for centuries - It's a Saturday afternoon and you're relaxing in front of the latest gladiatorial combat/fresco/sculpture/portrait/wood carving/clock/radiogram/plasma tv. Hand down the front of your toga/breeches/pantaloons/knickerbockers/trousers - yes or no?
It's almost always good to have a hand in yore undercrackers.0 -
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Back to Dusseldorf ... do a proper job this time
1.) So, when are we going back to Dusseldorf?
2.) If you could enjoy beer and pork with anyone (alive or dead), who would it be?
3.) What was the last book you read?*
4.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?*
* This might be a trick question.
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Ah Brother trout.....the living legend.
1) Describe your perfect Kebab to us please so we can all marvel in your tastes?
2) While dining together in the fabled Kebab Train over the summer we got into a heated debate over the gorgeous Summer Glau. She really is a princess isn't she?
3) With Christmas on the horizon will you be sipping brandy by any chance?
4) Is it important to down a few cold ones before getting stuck into pork, or can a Brother just eat it right there in front of him?
5) How was the class of wimmins in 2009? Did they meet with your approval?0 -
So, real or fake?
Always real.1.) So, when are we going back to Dusseldorf?
Not soon enough for my liking.2.) If you could enjoy beer and pork with anyone (alive or dead), who would it be?
Depends on how long for ... if it was for the rest of my natural, it would have to be my best pal in this world, mrs trout.
If it was for one night only, I think it would have to be Brendan Behan.3.) What was the last book you read?*
Yeah, I see yore trick question ... I have to confess, I didn't read TGC book .. I've been up to my tonsils with work, so the last book I read was some turgid, dry, lugubrious security related horse-sh1te. I will be catching up on my reading over Christmas, and I have saved two books for the festive season. One is TGC book, and the other is Anathem by Neal Stephenson.4.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?*
I like where I live ... so it would have to be where I am now. My family are here, and my pals are here too. That's why.
Ishkanders ... that is all.1) Describe your perfect Kebab to us please so we can all marvel in your tastes?
Meh. She's all right, but she's no Princess Grace.2) While dining together in the fabled Kebab Train over the summer we got into a heated debate over the gorgeous Summer Glau. She really is a princess isn't she?
Nope. Hot port for me ... I do like brandy snaps though, and brandy butter.3) With Christmas on the horizon will you be sipping brandy by any chance?
You have to be careful here ... fatal contention can literally freeze the brain of a brother solid, if he is forced to choose between beer and pork. The only sane response is to devour everything, as it falls to hand. So, distance is the only deciding factor; who among us could choose one delight over another?4) Is it important to down a few cold ones before getting stuck into pork, or can a Brother just eat it right there in front of him?
Oh sure they're all Lovely Girls, one and all.5) How was the class of wimmins in 2009? Did they meet with your approval?0 -
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Sofiztikated wrote: »Who, me? Em, no ta. I'm em, washing my hair?
No problem ... there's a bucket down here ... bit of a rinse, you'll be grand
*rattles bucket*0 -
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