stuck in the same place and very lonely

LegacyUser

Gonna keep this very simple, it is another night, same as most other nights for the last few months.........where when i head to bed and am left with my own thoughts, i miss my ex so much. Went out for 5 years, broke up over a year ago, she broke up with me, i am still not over it. Not am i not only over it, but everytime i am on my own she is my main thought.....very very annoying, but cant stop my mind wondering to those places. When i am in work, no problems, with friends, no problems.....as soon as i have 2 minutes to myself, im either justifying to her in my head how good we where together or arguing with her how she hurt me so much by finishing our relationship. I've done all the right things since we broke up, started new hobbies, joined new clubs, done things i wanted to achieve for myself.....alll of which have been very very satisfying to me in their own way.....but bottom line, as soon as i am left alone with my thoughts.....i quickly descend into thoughts of her and cant drag myslef out of it. I know i am not depressed or anything like that, i am just very very lonely, i really felt we where meant to be. I cut contact for good with her months ago, which was totally the right thing to do because i was hurting myself before when i used to contact her and knew she had moved on. Thing is, i really really cant see past her, i really feel she was everything i wanted in a girl, friendly, sexy, smart and most importantly she really understood me. Lately i just wanna text her, dunno what i would even say, im very angry with her, she has broke my heart and made the last year of my life the toughest i have ever had....but i also still really miss her. I know if i read this and it was from someone else, my advice would be, if it was meant to be it was meant to be......but my mind cant seem to accept that, i keep going back to her in my mind when i am alone. I actually hate being in my own company cause i end up thinking like this. Anyone have a clue where i am coming from, because after over a year broken up, i really feel i should have moved on at this stage, where in fact im worse than ever.......plus, it is affecting my chances with anyone else because i always think they will never be as good as what i had with her. I hate constantly feeling like this.........thoughts anyone?

LegacyUser

it's never easy to leave all the things behind and go ahead. i guess it's part of you and your history makes u.

but do start going out with some other girls if you haven't yet, i mean, not for serious things, just for a bit of fun, and to know more different types of women. never tell a girl you want more from her if you still miss ur ex., not play around, be honest always.

but do go out with other girls, and by time, you will find another one you love and love you back.

LegacyUser

op here....

thanks for the reply. just to add to my original post......another example of how i can't see past my ex even though im really trying to move on.

at a party saturday night, got chatting to a girl, she seemed nice.....anyway one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together. thing is i didnt really enjoy it all that much, as sad as it is to say, i was thinking id so much prefer to be with my ex.......this isn't the first time this has happened either, any girl to be honest i have hooked up with, doesnt seem to compare with my ex and its preventing me committing to someone new.