will life get any better?

katie 2

:(broke up with me my ex in August, due to distance over the summer. I didnt want it and was heartbroken he wouldnt give it a second chance. it was my first seriouis relationship he told me I was the one and a while later he dumped me. the first month after the breakup was so hard in college. But recently ive been happing moving on. started seeing a really nice guy broke up with him today i feel awful hurt him so much, i cant stop thinking about my ex.is there something wrong with me its been 4 months and i taught i was over him but clearly not. dont think it will get any easier i was doing so well, just feel empty and in a hole i cant get out of. any advice please, sorry for the long post.

That_Guy

Trust me it does get easier. After my ex broke up with me it took me a good 5 or 6 months to get her fully out of my head.

It's hard to move on having spent so much time with someone.

In order to move on you've got to cease any sort of communication. Delete his number, don't stalk him on Facebook/Bebo or whatever.

Just make sure you've a good group of friends around you. Spend time with them and they'll help out a lot in making sure you get over him.

You have to see other people and don't think of him because the truth is, he's not thinking about you. The sooner you start seeing other people the better it will be for you.

Harsh I know but it's the only way to think really. Worked for me. It really did.

Good luck anyway.

starttheend

I would echo the above advice and say there is no time line for this, all you can do is keep busy and surround yourself with friends, try do things you would never have had time for when in the relationship. Also get out there and meet new people, but try avoid anything too serious as it just gets messy if your still not over someone. Its a horrible feeling, especially with your first love, but trust me in time it will get better and you will be a stronger person for it. good luck

dublingal80

of course you are going to hurt OP. he was your first serious relationship, you didnt expect to break up with him so it was also a shock.... its not like you saw it coming.

Honestly you need to give yourself some time. Surround yourself with your friends and just keep guys out of your life for another while yet. Definitely delete every way of contacting him you have, because there will be a time where you miss him sooooooooo much that you want to hear from him, and thats the last thing you want to do. Imagine if you texted or emailed him and you didnt hear back? u would just be even more hurt

I was with my ex for near 2 years. first proper relationship too, and even though i saw it coming, we broke up mutually. I was properly single for a good 2 years (im not saying for you to wait THAT long!! ) but i met guys in clubs, or wherever, kissed a few, had some dates, but i just firstly didnt trust any guy for at least a year to a year and a half. i had such a wall up so any guy i met, i just really didnt have the time for. I was enjoying my own company and my friends.

Then when i least expected to meet my OH i did and 3 years later we are soooooooo happy!

I promise you, it will get easier, but going into another relationship to forget about your ex wont work

hugs!

LegacyUser

thanks for all the replies guys. going to focus on studies have my finals in two weeks not going to let him get me down cheers

kildarelad

I went and am still going through the same experience except she finished it with me in June. Im finding it hard to keep the chin up because she really hurt me. Im hoping it gets better too

Taltos

kildarelad wrote: »

I went and am still going through the same experience except she finished it with me in June. Im finding it hard to keep the chin up because she really hurt me. Im hoping it gets better too

It definitely does.
You might have a low day or 2 or 3 - but do all you can not to dwell...

Something that helped me in the past is just accepting that somethings are just meant to be. And that bad things happen for a reason.

Sometimes that might just be to teach you how to deal with them - but sometimes - sometimes it is to allow you to learn and grow so that when you next have a relationship you take in the lessons you learnt so that you have a better chance of meeting the right one for you.

Many of us have gone thru bad / bitter breakups. Many of us have scars from them. But now - yrs later I am glad I went thru the pain I felt at the time as I know that the person I am with now is the one for me.

Remember though - don't dwell and don't fall into the trap of only remembering the good times - this is a coping mechanism of our brains - that sometimes causes us to repeat past mistakes...

It does get better. Really it does.
The only regrets I have now are the roads not travelled. You know - what could have been if I had the courage. So never be afraid to take that chance.