To break or not to break??

LegacyUser

Been going with my gf for over a year now. Without doubt the nicest girl i've ever met, we get on well and have never had a cross word. However im starting to become a little unsure of us as I more and more am beginning to prefer my own company to hers, using any little excuse not to be with her. Also, if I'm being honest, I often think about just getting back to single life and scoring other women. I think I started and stayed going out with her because she was such an unbelievably nice person eventhough looks wise she didnt drive me wild (Dont get me wrong, she's good looking but not as attractive as former girlfriends). Im far from a sex addict or anything but everytime I go on a night out without her I have to do my damndest not to do the dirt. So much so I havent been going on many nights out at all lately. I often read on here about if you were truly in love you would'nt even countenance being with someone else but it has become something I think about a lot. I wouldn't cheat on her as I said she is the nicest girl ive ever met and the thought of making her cry makes me sick. Im just wondering if this looks thing hasn't fully abated in what is over a year, will it pass if I hang in there. People often say on here looks fade and I know I'll probably seem shallow when I have this amazing person in love with me but I'm just being honest and cant seem to shake it.

starttheend

Hey

Have been in this situation before, its very hard I know, hurting someone nice is near impossible. I think the key is you have to be honest with yourself and if this girl is not right for you you have to end it. One of the hardest things to do is end a relationship when there is no huge problems or issues, just a case of it not feeling right. As for the looks/attraction thing, its something that is either there or its not, and if its not it won't just happen. Its not a shallow thing, its a fact of relationships, you need to fancy them hugely. To be honest I think you need to be selfish for a minute and do whats best for you, I know it will be hard to hurt this girl but staying with her when not 100% into things will only lead to more hurt in the long run

dsmythy

starttheend wrote: »

Hey

Have been in this situation before, its very hard I know, hurting someone nice is near impossible. I think the key is you have to be honest with yourself and if this girl is not right for you you have to end it. One of the hardest things to do is end a relationship when there is no huge problems or issues, just a case of it not feeling right. As for the looks/attraction thing, its something that is either there or its not, and if its not it won't just happen. Its not a shallow thing, its a fact of relationships, you need to fancy them hugely. To be honest I think you need to be selfish for a minute and do whats best for you, I know it will be hard to hurt this girl but staying with her when not 100% into things will only lead to more hurt in the long run

I'd echo this. It will hurt her harder and harder the longer you two stay together. In the short term she will feel pain but in the long run eventually she will be grateful that you didn't drag things out.

Miss Fluff

Lust/chemistry/attraction is either there or it's not. While breaking up will be difficult, it is actually more cruel to stay with her when you are just not feeling it. You are cheating both herself and you out of finding the real thing. Man up and break up with her. Make sure you do it face-to-face and give her a reasonable explanation (without actually telling her that you don't actually find her attractive) and try and make a clean break of it. Breaking up is never nice for the dumper or the dumpee but it's better in the long run than living a lie. By that I mean don't come back to the poor girl for your swiss roll if you go through a dry spell and don't hook up with anyone she knows etc etc

purple17

im starting to wonder if this is my ex-boyfriend posting this thread ha ha! But only joking i know it's not. Me n my bf broke up about a month ago. I seen it coming about a month b4 dat cos was seeing and talking to him less n less. Eventually asked him what was up n he said he wasnt feeling it anymore i.e. me n him. I was glad he was honest n didnt use some lame excuse to break. Truth b told it was never gonna last n wasnt goin anywhere so he didnt me a favour. Am really down about it tho but nothin i can do!
I say do dis girl a favour n break up wit her n b honest. Dat also means none of this "i wanna b friends or still have contact wit u" cos dat gives false hope to her. It'll b hard at 1st for both of u but better in long run.
It wont get better cos even if it does u know deep down she's not enuf for you n u'll feel like dis again at some stage.