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Dont know what to do about my marriage

  • 25-11-2009 3:27pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    We have been married for several years now and things have gotten considerably worse over the last year. I love my wife allot but we seem to but heads on a number of issues.

    Parents involvement - My wifes parents continuously interfere in our lives, influence my wife in making decisions what is best for them and not us as a family. After months of arguments i normally cave into my wife's thinking. This has led to resentment towards her parents. My wife has been been better in standing up to their bully tactic, the problem i have is if i am overly nice towards her parents they start all over again with the interfering and if i back off her mother asks my wife why do i hate them. I am sick of this crap.

    I have talked and talked to to my wife about this but nothing ever changes for the better. Our lives been dictated by my wife's parents. I have thought about confronting my wifes mother but i know i run the risk of causing more pain for my wife. This situation has been made worse as now we have a child. She is constantly telling my wife how to do this and how to do that. This has led to extra stress as now my wife is constantly worrying about our child and sometimes i worry that our child inst allowed to be a child as she is so sheltered.

    This will never change. I am at the stage where i would be happy if i never see them again. All they do is cause mayhem with our marriage that we have been talking about divorce several times. So now my wife thinks i hate her parents and we constantly fight about it. I don't hate them, i just want them to leave us to live our own lives. I am dammed if i do and dammed if i don't.


Comments

  • #2
    VERYinterested
    Closed Accounts Posts: 923 ✭✭✭VERYinterested


    Is there any way you can spend less time around her parents? They are smothering you both and it is not healthy. Having and raising children is the most natural thing we all will do, we are equipped with instincts on how to do things. I forget how I did things last week so I don't understand how interfering in-laws feel equipped to tell people how to do things for babies when on average, it is probably 20 odd years since they had to care for one. I feel for your situation, trying not to cause a row for the sake of everyone else, but sometimes you just have to do it for your own sanity.

    The most diplomatic way out of it is to ensure you see less of her parents, particular the mother by the sound of your post.


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