Friends with benefits?

LegacyUser

Hey,I would be grateful for some advice.Met this guy through a mutual friend and we kissed and were together twice. I know he is just out of a long term relationship and I know I am not over my ex but we get on great and the physical side of the "relationship" is brilliant. Last week we had a chat about being together with no strings attached.He initiated it and I semi agreed to it, I dont want a relationship at the moment and neither does he so we thought it would be a good idea. I havent done anything yet because I am new to this friends with benefits lark,but could anyone give me advice on what way to go about it and the rules if there are any??Thanks in advance.

SarahSassy

Dont let your heart get involved. Thats probably the best advice.

Miss Fluff

Aine A wrote: »

I am new to this friends with benefits lark,but could anyone give me advice on what way to go about it and the rules if there are any??

There are rules alright. Approximately 5,000 of them.

I think funadementally the Rule Number One is not to fall for them. Friends with Benefits is a great arrangement as long as you (truthfully now!) don't harbour ANY wish to be with the other person in a romantic/relationship capacity. Therefore it often helps if you feel sick with lust as well as sick at the thought of ever having to do something coupley with them.

In fact I would go so far as to say it often a good thing if you love having sex with them but not necessarily like them as a human being. Being so intimate with someone can bring about feelings so it a fine line to navigate a situation whereby neither party genuinely doesn't want to take it further.

I'd also ensure that any hook-ups are sporadic and keep to that. Don't get into a situation where you meet up every Thursday and Sunday evenings for example, that is stepping into coupley routine territory.

Another rule is not to be available/on call. While friends with benefits are exactly that, don't jump to every booty call.

Something else I'd advise is don't let it deter you from meeting someone else. When a person is having unbelievable ceiling shattering sex when single, finding yourself a boyfriend doesn't become high on the list of priorities when you have all the benefits of being an independent fabulous singleton while also having a sex life that would make Alexis Texas blush. So for that reason, a booty call to the Friend with Benefits can be handy after a fruitless night out on the town, it can make a person very lazy and result in you not being so open to the real deal.

Keep safe. Openly discuss each other's sex lives and if having sex elsewhere. All too often a Friend with Benefits can go get himself a girlfriend and forget to tell you.....it's happened to me and it's not nice. I moved from Friend with Benefits into Mistress territory without even knowing.

And just to reiterate again, if you develop feelings for the other person you have to either come clean and fess up and hopefully they will reciprocate and you can make a go of things together OR you simply have to cut contact and stop seeing them if they don't see you as anything more than a f8ck buddy.

I think FWB is a great arrangement between two horny consenting adults as long as they are being honest, keeping safe and not leading each other on. Go and enjoy I reckon!:)

seahorse

SarahSassy wrote: »

Dont let your heart get involved. Thats probably the best advice.

It is, but it's also the hardest to heed, unfortunately.