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Issues in Relationship

LegacyUser · 2009-11-23 11:54:53

Hi There, I've been dating a girl long-distance for about ten months now, although we did break up for 2 months during the summer, as she was feeling kind of depressed and thought that our relationship might've been the cause, but in end it wasnt. As she works in retail, she works weekends and often has a day off midweek,…

23-11-2009 11:54am

#1

LegacyUser

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Hi There,

I've been dating a girl long-distance for about ten months now, although we did break up for 2 months during the summer, as she was feeling kind of depressed and thought that our relationship might've been the cause, but in end it wasnt. As she works in retail, she works weekends and often has a day off midweek, so I do the vast majority of the travelling. We're back together now about two months, and truth be told, I don't know if I want to be in a relationship with her. Things about her and the relationship that I didn't really notice before have started to annoy me now.

For example, I'm finding that we're not really doing much with the time we have together, as she is often wrecked from work when I come down on a Friday. We haven't been on a proper night out since Hallowe'en.

Another thing that bugs me is how untidy she is. She lives in a 1-bed apt and her bedroom is often like an absolute bombsite - I'm not a clean freak but I do appreciate tidyness, and the level of untidyness I sometimes see with my gf just stresses me out.

Seeing how I and my my mam always do a thorough clean up of our house to make it presentable on the occasions my gf does come up, I kind of feel a bit short-changed. I tried making a little joke about it but she got really upset and offended and accused me of judging her, which I suppose I was, but I didn't want to cause a big row so I left it.

I suppose I just feel I'm not really getting enough of a return out the time I give over to her and the relationship. I work 10am-7pm Mon-Fri, so I'm really giving most of my free time over to my gf in one big block at the weekend, and yet I was in bed by 10pm on Friday night. I think she takes the travelling I do for granted, as she hasn't been up really since we got back together, and says she probably wont be up for a few months as she adopted a new kitten lately, which she doesnt want to leave into a cattery or to friends.

Lately I've been finding myself less attracted to her than I used to be. I think she's a naturally gorgeous looking girl - she's always struggled a bit with her weight which never bothered me, but lately she's gained quite a lot of weight on top of that, and that has started to affect how attracted I feel towards her.

Writing the above has really upset me because I do care a lot about this girl. She is really pretty, smart, streetwise and has a fabulous singing talent, and it broke my heart when she called things off during the summer.

I haven't really talked to her about this stuff, I'm afraid to upset her or make her feel bad about herself, and I know if we broke up I'd likely regret it for a long time. But the issues I mentioned do irritate me and I feel its time they were addressed one way or another. Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated ,thanks!

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