I Feel So Hurt

jonesie29

I don't post here but i said id join. Im 29 and back in August on a weekend away i met a 22 year old girl. We got on well so kept in touch after that even though we live about 60 miles apart. We met up 3 times after our first meeting and kept in contact the whole time. She told me the other night that she was coming down on friday night to my home place as her friends brother lives there. I was happy and she text me a few times that day to tell me she was still coming even with the bad weather. I met her in the nightclub that night at about half 11 and we were both sober and she told me she'd be back in a minute as she had to go over to her friend and her brothers friends. I never heard again from her from the rest of the night until she rang me when i was gone home to ask me to come up to the hotel where she was staying. I was angry with her as i had told a couple of my friends that she was coming and they were slagging me about her not turning up and i told her to get stuffed. There has'nt been any contact since and i know she's young and immature but i went to her home town a couple of times and made an effort with her friends. I feel so low and i have hardly slept or eat since. I don't know how people can be so heartless.

Gyalist

Can you clarify if you were in a relationship or just friends?

jonesie29

Gyalist wrote: »

Can you clarify if you were in a relationship or just friends?

We were'nt in a relationship, just met up a few times. I suppose she was only looking for a bit of fun but she could have came over for 10 or 15 mins the other night. I suppose im the type of guy who only sleeps with a woman if i have some feelings for her.

CDfm

OP 22 year olds do that and run around and play musical chairs.

Anyway -you were silly and should say sorry.

My opinion is that you really like her and got over excited and its not her fault that you arranged to introduce her to your friends. A bit much.

Now she wanted to see you and not your friends -maybe she was a bit shy at the prospect of meeting a bunch of people lots older than her.

CDfm

CDfm wrote: »

OP 22 year olds do that and run around and play musical chairs.

That's not very fair. Plenty don't. I was living with a boyfriend at that age. This girl just seems immature and rude - I mean really, leaving without telling you why/saying goodbye? 32 or 22, she sounds like someone you'd be better off without.

jonesie29

CDfm wrote: »

OP 22 year olds do that and run around and play musical chairs.

Anyway -you were silly and should say sorry.

My opinion is that you really like her and got over excited and its not her fault that you arranged to introduce her to your friends. A bit much.

Now she wanted to see you and not your friends -maybe she was a bit shy at the prospect of meeting a bunch of people lots older than her.

Fair enough but i met her and we were on our own, said nothing about meeting my friends and she just left to go off with her friend and a big group of fellas and never came back for the whole night, just found it hurtful.

Gyalist

I never heard again from her from the rest of the night until she rang me when i was gone home to ask me to come up to the hotel where she was staying.

So you flew into a huff because your friends slagged you and missed out on a potential booty call?? Great work!

And if you have no feelings for her why are you so upset that she didn't spend any time with you?

CDfm

[quote=[Deleted User];63140938]That's not very fair. Plenty don't. I was living with a boyfriend at that age. This girl just seems immature and rude - I mean really, leaving without telling you why/saying goodbye? 32 or 22, she sounds like someone you'd be better off without.[/quote]

She sounds immature but its what a lot of people do at that age. In fairness - her visit didnt centre around the OP and the weather was crap. The OP doesnt know if she had to attend to something as he had a rant.

jonesie29

Gyalist wrote: »

So you flew into a huff because your friends slagged you and missed out on a potential booty call?? Great work!

And if you have no feelings for her why are you so upset that she didn't spend any time with you?

I obviously do have some feelings for her, i wouldnt go to meet her a few times if i didnt. I was after a few drinks and upset, i suppose im a bit sensitive.

jonesie29

CDfm wrote: »

She sounds immature but its what a lot of people do at that age. In fairness - her visit didnt centre around the OP and the weather was crap. The OP doesnt know if she had to attend to something as he had a rant.

She came down because there was a big night on in the nightclub and if she didnt want to meet me fair enough, why did she text me about 5 times that day to tell me she was coming and also about 2 or 3 times in the club to ask where i was.

Gyalist

jonesie29 wrote: »

She came down because there was a big night on in the nightclub and if she didnt want to meet me fair enough, why did she text me about 5 times that day to tell me she was coming and also about 2 or 3 times in the club to ask where i was.

You don't seem to be getting it... You are not in a relationship with her and you don't have any claim on her and she owes you nothing. In any case, why didn't you go over and join her group and be social?

CDfm

CDfm wrote: »

She sounds immature but its what a lot of people do at that age. In fairness - her visit didnt centre around the OP and the weather was crap. The OP doesnt know if she had to attend to something as he had a rant.

Yeah but not saying goodbye is just plain ignorant. I wouldn't do that to a friend.

Gyalist

[quote=[Deleted User];63141178]Yeah but not saying goodbye is just plain ignorant. I wouldn't do that to a friend.[/QUOTE]

What seems to have happened is that the OP got into a huff and went home because his friends were slagging him and before the night was over. She could hardly say goodbye if he wasn't there.

In any case, she called later to invite him over to her hotel.

jonesie29

Gyalist wrote: »

What seems to have happened is that the OP got into a huff and went home because his friends were slagging him and before the night was over. She could hardly say goodbye if he wasn't there.

The night was over and i did join her group but her friend whom i met before and i thought was nice wasnt very friendly and my girl said she was going away with them and would i be around the same area as she would be back but unfortunately she never came back. I text her there to say i was i sorry i gave out to her but i think she could apologise to me too. I wont be holding my breath though.

Gyalist

Look, things didn't go the way you wanted to in the nightclub but she did call to invite you over to her place. I'd find your talk about not eating or sleeping more than a little melodramatic for a 19-year old, never mind a 29-year old. Yet you go on to inflame the situation by demanding an apology from her - and all this for someone that you aren't in a relationship with.

jonesie29

Gyalist wrote: »

Look, things didn't go the way you wanted to in the nightclub but she did call to invite you over to her place. I'd find your talk about not eating or sleeping more than a little melodramatic for a 19-year old, never mind a 29-year old. Yet you go on to inflame the situation by demanding an apology from her - and all this for someone that you aren't in a relationship with.

Im know im probably over the top but i recently lost my job and i was a bit down anyway. I did'nt demand an apology off her, i just told her i was hurt she never came back to me in the club.

Aspiration

I think your ages here are irrelevant. The girl was with her friends, and she went to visit her friends brother as well as yourself. She probably could've made more of an effort with you and your buddies, but if you were so in to her, why didn't you go look for her?

I understand it hurts when someone blows you off but in fairness, I don't think the girl has anything to apologise for. Ye went out separately, met up (albeit only for short time), she spent most of the night with her friends than with the guy she met 4 times, she called you afterwards to meet up and you declined. Perhaps she could've stayed longer with you but honestly, if someone told me to get stuffed after not meeting up with them, be it a friend/potential bootycall as another poster called it/potential hookup, I wouldn't be too impressed either.

jonesie29

Aspiration wrote: »

I think your ages here are irrelevant. The girl was with her friends, and she went to visit her friends brother as well as yourself. She probably could've made more of an effort with you and your buddies, but if you were so in to her, why didn't you go look for her?

I understand it hurts when someone blows you off but in fairness, I don't think the girl has anything to apologise for. Ye went out separately, met up (albeit only for short time), she spent most of the night with her friends than with the guy she met 4 times, she called you afterwards to meet up and you declined. Perhaps she could've stayed longer with you but honestly, if someone told me to get stuffed after not meeting up with them, be it a friend/potential bootycall as another poster called it/potential hookup, I wouldn't be too impressed either.

I know your right, I totally overreacted. I suppose i'm more upset with myself for letting myself down. As usual too much bloody drink involved. Well i said sorry, i can't do much more.

MIN2511

Hey; your emotions seem all over the place especially about work. Are you sure you don't want to concentrate on yourself before getting yourself into a relationship of any sort?

jonesie29

MIN2511 wrote: »

Hey; your emotions seem all over the place especially about work. Are you sure you don't want to concentrate on yourself before getting yourself into a relationship of any sort?

I suppose the work thing doesnt help but i wasnt that down about it to be honest. With this happening i suppose i feel everything has got on top of me. I text her to say sorry yesterday and she hasnt replied so i have deleted her number and ill try to move on. I never had much interest in getting serious as she is very immature so i don't know why i feel so hurt over the whole thing.

MIN2511

jonesie29 wrote: »

I suppose the work thing doesnt help but i wasnt that down about it to be honest. With this happening i suppose i feel everything has got on top of me. I text her to say sorry yesterday and she hasnt replied so i have deleted her number and ill try to move on. I never had much interest in getting serious as she is very immature so i don't know why i feel so hurt over the whole thing.

Hmmm... Your reply is bitter, there was no need for you to delete her number.

Getting serious? Immature?

That's a bit OTT, anyways you've deleted the number... If she doesn't reply you then no worries, if she does then you'd feel silly!

jonesie29

MIN2511 wrote: »

Hmmm... Your reply is bitter, there was no need for you to delete her number.

Getting serious? Immature?

That's a bit OTT, anyways you've deleted the number... If she doesn't reply you then no worries, if she does then you'd feel silly!

Well i text her last night and she still has'nt reply and i don't think she will now. I prefer to delete her number as i don't have the option of contacting her then and i can move on.

MIN2511

jonesie29 wrote: »

Well i text her last night and she still has'nt reply and i don't think she will now. I prefer to delete her number as i don't have the option of contacting her then and i can move on.

I am very slow to reply text messages/emails/missed calls...

But sure if you think it's best then sure..

jonesie29

MIN2511 wrote: »

I am very slow to reply text messages/emails/missed calls...

But sure if you think it's best then sure..

Yeah, i think so, she'd usually reply fairly lively, ah well, better move on.