Help me cop on!

carlychick

would appreciate your advice.......what is wrong with me!!! i can't seem to tell this guy to go and jump! cause that is all he deserves....

my confidence is not like it used to be i am unemployed. at least i am getting a couple of interviews but it is a nightmare and trying to manage finances is tough etc. however i am doing the best i can.

i met a guy through a friend of a friend and bumped into him & he asked me out. i was flattered.

however, my gut is telling me to move on. now - i am no free loader and i don't want a guy paying for everything but he is so mean with money. & it bugs me that he is so distant with his text messages & phonecalls. he is a country guy lives about an hour away from me but is suiting himself and he realy browned me off last week over a text message which is sorted.

i can get over that - no problem but the mean ness and the apparent lack of contact - he seems so clueless as to how to treat a woman and hes 34 and im going on 36. he sent me a horrible text over the venue where we were supposed to meet in this afternoon. i put him in his place. we met & he had his dinner cooked by mammy so i ordered a coffee and he didnt pay for it! he ordered nothing!! now - i have pulled him up over the money thing he landed me with purchasing 2 tickets for a gig a few weeks ago. (dont get me wrong i pay my own way & i am generous) but he has a good job and is paid well and no fear of him losing his job.

he suggested that we might go sking although as soon as he said that he was like well maybe its a bit soon to be planning all that as we're only seeing each other a month. what is wrong with me that i fancy this guy & want to see him again when he is mean as ditch water landing me with most of a dinner bill on our 2nd date is vague with text messages well not in touch etc...i said it all straight out to him today my expectations... the thing is i think is i am confused. my head is wrecked as i sit here.....

i guess i would love to be in a relationship but i cant seem to be brave enough to park this guy....my ex boyfriend was the opposite he always treated me to dinner. i dont drink so im not an expensive date. in fairness to my ex i always played fair with him and would buy him lots of presents.

this guy doesnt deserve me. i was mortified today having to purchase 2 coffees for myself a fiver and he not drinking anything. am i supposed to keep telling him how to treat me? maybe i will await the next developments & hopefully if i am lucky he won't contact me.........i am being silly .......... sorry.....thank you.

muboop1

That post is terribly hard to read...

Can i try summerise it? please let me know if im wrong.

You are unemployed,
Met a guy through one your mates,
Hes employed,
Started dating
Hes distant on phone and texts
Hes not treating you like you think a "woman" should be treated but doing what suits himself?
You were ment to meet him somewhere
He didnt like it.
He decided to eat before hand and come and just not eat

HE landed you paying for 2 tickets to a gig...more details needed.

He suggested ski-ing

Had to bail early on a date leaving you with most of the bill? again more details needed.

Your ex payed for everything date wise and you bought him presents so assume even(i agree seems fair btw)

You met up with him and gave him an earfull about how you want to be treated?

He still left you to pay for your own two cups of coffee.

If all i have said is true den..

You seriously suffer from what i call princess syndrome!!!

He didnt want to go to a restauraunt u did... so he let you know. You insisted he eat somewhere he didnt want to so he ate before hand and came along for company as a compromise...
Seems alright to me!
You expect him to pay??? why? why would he pay for your meal?

You drank 2 cups of coffee... he drank nothing again why should he pay??

Look I agree that its nice to be pampered and he has a job whatever. But you are in no way entitles to be treated this way.

Likely he is a reasonable guy and in this day and age he expects you to pay your own way. Everything 50/50.

Whats wrong with that?

You are telling him how to treat you and to pay for things??
Sponge... pay your own way!

Your only dating this guy!


jeeze

LegacyUser

You're confused - I'm confused.

Why shouldn't you pay for dinner and gig tickets? And why shouldn't you pay for your coffee? I know it's hard when money is tight for you and isn't for him but you can't say you're no free loader if you always expect him to fork out. If you've no money you shouldn't be doing expensive things. You say you played fair with your ex and bought him presents - do you mean you let him pay for everything and got him presents in compensation? Odd.

Then this new boyfriend - you say you "put him in his place", you "pulled him up over the money thing" and told him your "expectations". Maybe he's not sensitive to your lack of money but it seems a strange way to me for you to treat an equal.

sunnyside

carlychick wrote: »

i guess i would love to be in a relationship but i cant seem to be brave enough to park this guy....my ex boyfriend was the opposite he always treated me to dinner. i dont drink so im not an expensive date. in fairness to my ex i always played fair with him and would buy him lots of presents.

this guy doesnt deserve me. i was mortified today having to purchase 2 coffees for myself a fiver and he not drinking anything. am i supposed to keep telling him how to treat me? maybe i will await the next developments & hopefully if i am lucky he won't contact me.........i am being silly .......... sorry.....thank you.

If you are hoping he won't he won't contact you then it should be obvious to you that he's not for you. You need to meet someone different.

I would feel uncomfortable sitting in a cafe or restaurant with somebody who wouldn't order anything.