Suggestions for making life easier for family member undergoing Chemo

moncai

Hey,

I'm not looking for any medical adivce or clarification, i'm just looking for anyone who has lived with someone undergoing chemotherapy as a day patient. A member of my family has started treatment as a day patient for pancreatic cancer and i've heard that chemotherapy can be a draining treatment for someone to undergo.

Basically i'm curious about anything that myself or others in my family can do in our home to make things more comfortable or pleasant for someone undergoing such treatment. Obviously personal preferences by the patient themselves can be looked after since we know them, but i'm wondering if there are any known issues with living with someone undergoing chemo that can be resolved or alleviated in anyway.

As far as i'm aware the chemo isn't particularly gruelling at this stage but it only started 2 weeks ago. Does it usually get worse as treatment goes on? It happens once a week for the patient, who is extremely positive about the situation as she was originally due to be put in pallative care but has since had her status changed to someone who has a chance of fighting the disease.

Thanks for any ideas!

DrIndy

I'm going to move this thread to long term illnesses. The posters there have a wealth of experiences which could help you.

CathyMoran

moncai wrote: »

Hey,

I'm not looking for any medical adivce or clarification, i'm just looking for anyone who has lived with someone undergoing chemotherapy as a day patient. A member of my family has started treatment as a day patient for pancreatic cancer and i've heard that chemotherapy can be a draining treatment for someone to undergo.

Basically i'm curious about anything that myself or others in my family can do in our home to make things more comfortable or pleasant for someone undergoing such treatment. Obviously personal preferences by the patient themselves can be looked after since we know them, but i'm wondering if there are any known issues with living with someone undergoing chemo that can be resolved or alleviated in anyway.

As far as i'm aware the chemo isn't particularly gruelling at this stage but it only started 2 weeks ago. Does it usually get worse as treatment goes on? It happens once a week for the patient, who is extremely positive about the situation as she was originally due to be put in pallative care but has since had her status changed to someone who has a chance of fighting the disease.

Thanks for any ideas!

I had chemo 3 years ago for oesophageal cancer as an inpatient but had a friend who had it as a day patient. I do think that everyones experience is different but extreme fatigue is very common. I had a portable dvd player that was very handy but if she is a day patient the support that she gets from the other patients may be invaluable. For me I personally found that my tastes changed for a while after the chemo so for me getting the food that I really liked (though it varied) mattered. I also found for me that I forgot most of the chemo experience. I liked having my loved ones with me as much as possible though everyone is different. I do know that having nice things to do on the good days were really good, though these had to be adaptable as I could end up not having the strength not to do them and feeling guilty. For me going back every time for the next batch was hard as you know what is going to happen next so habing a few days away from cancer were wonderful from the strange things as having a normal row with someone (without being treated with kid gloves for a change) to having some really special days out before the next batch so that I could face it (but again you need to be adaptible). I am sorry that I am being so vague but I have seem that chemo is a different journey for eveyone. I do wish your relative and your family all the best in this journey. The Irish Cancer Society are wonderful for the support that they give to the loved ones that have a relative with cancer.

moncai

Hey Cathy


Thanks very much for your advice, i guess we'll just have to deal with it in a 'take every day as it comes' approach. Thanks for sharing your experience though, and I wish you well!

Blueskye

I had a sibling go through chemo a couple of years ago. I think everyone reacts differently but she had some difficult weeks. Just being around as company helped I think, we all felt pretty helpless at times but just spending time together was helpful for everyone. I tried to bring around books she might find interesting, movies etc. And trying to keep life as normal as possible was important for us, but that wasn't always possible. In my experience we tried to take the lead from my sibling.

Best wishes for your sibling and your family.

The_Conductor

I'm the other half Cathymoran referred to.
When she was undergoing chemo- there would be days when she'd have a lot more energy and a determination that she wasn't going to 'waste' the day. I tried to schedule as many fun activities into those days as possible- they could be simple things like going to the zoo, meeting up with friends- or spending a few hours poking around bookshops that she loved. Even simple things were welcome distractions from the knowledge that she'd be in bed incapable of doing anything in a few days time. Her chemo was 1 week of fulltime chemo, night and day- followed by a 3 week break. It would take her over 2 weeks to be in a position to even get out of bed unaided after her 1 week- on, which normally left us a few days when she had enough energy to actually get out of the house, before the next batch was due to start-up again.

I guess what I'm saying is- when the person has enough energy- try to do the little things that they like to do (in a responsible manner), be it going to the cinema, meeting friends, going to secondhand bookstores, taking a long weekend away etc. When they don't have the energy to do much- they most probably don't have the energy to concentrate either. A portable TV/DVD player, a laptop with wifi/3G, a few good books etc- are all possibilities- but most of all, you should be there for them as much as possible- late at night, before they finally manage to sleep, early in the morning, as the nurses are doing their rounds waking the patients, opening the blinds, saying hello to another day etc. I fell asleap in hospital a few times- I always awoke to find some kindly nurse had put a blanket over me in the chair- and somehow added something to the breakfast order for me.

It is exhausting- on a scale you cannot begin to imagine. Being in hospital and being there for the person, is your life. Going into work for a few hours, as is probably necessary, maintains a degree of sanity- I was lucky- my manager was a saint.

It really is the case that you can't plan ahead, you live every day- one day at a time, and those days where he/she has a little energy to do something- you grasp them and make the very most of them.

Best wishes,

Shane