Being branded a one night stand guy!

LegacyUser

Looking for a bit of advice. 23 years old, just out of a 6 year relationship. Spent my whole college life and a lot of my school life with the same girl while all my mates were off sleeping with many different girls.

Relationship didn't work so I decided to get back out into the dating pool. Since my breakup in August, I've had one short term (3 weeks) fling with a swedish girl and took one other girl home for a one night stand. The one night stand was back in early October and I've still been heading out most weekends since then.

It's not my sole intention to get a one night stand on a night out but if I meet a girl I like and she seems up for a bit of fun, I don't see the guilt in it. But lately, the only thing I keep hearing from the girls I kiss is "I bet you're the kind of guy who sleeps with a different girl every weekend".

Now I never know how to react to this so always (especially after a few brews) get a bit insulted and wind up just walking off on the girl. Once or twice I've tried to explain myself as 'I'm not generally that kinda guy', 'just out of a relationship' blahhdy blahhdy blah but I always just come off sounding like I'm now begging her for sex.

I know there'll probably be people giving out saying that I shouldn't be out chasing one night stands or flings but I'm just out a long term relationship, I do feel I've a few wild oats to sew.

Any advice? If a girl asks me that, is she effectively telling me she's not interested and I should walk away? Should I be honest and say that I've had one or two one night stands? Should I tell her that it's none of her business?

Liam Byrne

Niceishguy wrote: »

But lately, the only thing I keep hearing from the girls I kiss is "I bet you're the kind of guy who sleeps with a different girl every weekend".

Tell it like it is, but in a jokey way.

My answer would be "I dunno, guess it depends on the kind of girl I meet...;) some might be worth a second or third night!"

I mean, you're still talking random strangers here, so you (a) can't be judged by them and (b) don't know whether they'd say "yes" or "no" depending on what you answered; some of them might be looking for a ONS only, some mightn't.

Bonito

Tell her "hey, that's an insult I only go for girls I genuinely like and it's up to you if you come home with me tonight, it takes two to tango remember" then wink, give her a kiss and take a swig of your pint while maintaing eye contact

smooooooothe :pac:

Girls say that when they're not sure if you genuinely like them or just trying to get them into bed. It's not an insult and it doesn't require any explanations. Just treat them well, have a laugh, don't try to go home with them that night, if you are looking for something more serious. Don't take the above advice, if someone said those lines to me I'd think they were an utter d*ckhead and walk off.

Liam Byrne

[quote=[Deleted User];63136106]Don't take the above advice, if someone said those lines to me I'd think they were an utter d*ckhead and walk off.[/QUOTE]

Interesting, because if someone said

"I bet you're the kind of guy who sleeps with a different girl every weekend".

I'd think they were a complete dickhead, so I wouldn't particularly mind if they walked off....

I mean, what kind of idiot makes a judgement/comment like that without knowing someone ?

Bonito

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Interesting, because if someone said



I'd think they were a complete dickhead, so I wouldn't particularly mind if they walked off....

I mean, what kind of idiot makes a judgement/comment like that without knowing someone ?

I agree completely, nervous round a bloke or not you dont tell him "oh i bet you're one of those lads who wanna bring the girl home to your bed the minute you meet her"

TBH if a girl said that to me i'd automatically assume maybe that's the type of lads she attracts.

Those lines do work because you're lightening the mood and having a joke back with the girl. I've never had a girl think I was dickhead and walk off if I gave her an equally challenging remark back to her initial comment of what she thinks of me.

Liam Byrne

Bonito wrote: »

Iyou dont tell him "oh i bet you're one of those lads who wanna bring the girl home to your bed the minute you meet her"

TBH if a girl said that to me i'd automatically assume maybe that's the type of lads she attracts.

If you wanted to really drive home the double-standards you could say "No, I have standards; and speaking of which, after that comment I'm off - bye!"

Bottom line is that if someone passes a comment / snap judgement like that, they deserve a put-down.

I mean, if a guy said "I bet you're the type of girl who goes home with someone every weekend", he'd probably get a slap across the face!!!

Why the double-standards, girls ?

Liam Byrne

Liam Byrne wrote: »

If you wanted to really drive home the double-standards you could say "No, I have standards; and speaking of which, after that comment I'm off - bye!"

Bottom line is that if someone passes a comment / snap judgement like that, they deserve a put-down.

I mean, if a guy said "I bet you're the type of girl who goes home with someone every weekend", he'd probably get a slap across the face!!!

Why the double-standards, girls ?

Some guys just don't understand women. :rolleyes: If you're being chatted up by a guy who seems very confident (or possibly even cocky), it's natural to want to establish if he really likes you or if he does this to all the girls. A lot of guys DO just go around looking for someone to shag and I personally wouldn't be interested in that. Now, phrasing the question in that way is slightly too blunt, but I probably would say something like 'ah I bet you say that to all the girls!' if I was getting the 'player' vibe from a guy.

If the OP has been asked this question by various women recently, then he is obviously giving off that vibe. Girls like to feel a bit special, not like she's the 10th girl he's tried it on with that night. Making a comment like that isn't an insult, she's trying to gauge his motivation. If I got an answer like the one you posted, that just confirms that he's a sleazy muppet out for one thing only.

If you wanted to really drive home the double-standards you could say "No, I have standards; and speaking of which, after that comment I'm off - bye!"

And again, you'd just be confirming to the girl that you are in fact a d*ckhead, and that she was right to be cautious.

Bonito

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818]Some guys just don't understand women. :rolleyes: If you're being chatted up by a guy who seems very confident (or possibly even cocky), it's natural to want to establish if he really likes you or if he does this to all the girls. A lot of guys DO just go around looking for someone to shag and I personally wouldn't be interested in that. Now, phrasing the question in that way is slightly too blunt, but I probably would say something like 'ah I bet you say that to all the girls!' if I was getting the 'player' vibe from a guy.

If the OP has been asked this question by various women recently, then he is obviously giving off that vibe. Girls like to feel a bit special, not like she's the 10th girl he's tried it on with that night. Making a comment like that isn't an insult, she's trying to gauge his motivation. If I got an answer like the one you posted, that just confirms that he's a sleazy muppet out for one thing only.



And again, you'd just be confirming to the girl that you are in fact a d*ckhead, and that she was right to be cautious.[/QUOTE]
Well tbh that says a lot about a girls self confidence and self esteem, she should know whether she's attractive or not and if she is and someone starts talking to her she's obviously going to know why he's talking to her, not all lads look for a shag, some will see a good looking girl and say right lets see if she's got the personality to match it, but if she turns around and says something like i bet you sleep with a different girl every week then as i said before perhaps she just attracts that sort of lad a lot and in judging the OP and saying that to him she's not really making a judgement of him but rather she has just judged herself and indicated to the OP exactly what her personailty is like.

Bonito

Bonito wrote: »

Well tbh that says a lot about a girls self confidence and self esteem, she should know whether she's attractive or not and if she is and someone starts talking to her she's obviously going to know why he's talking to her, not all lads look for a shag, some will see a good looking girl and say right lets see if she's got the personality to match it, but if she turns around and says something like i bet you sleep with a different girl every week then as i said before perhaps she just attracts that sort of lad a lot and in judging the OP and saying that to him she's not really making a judgement of him but rather she has just judged herself and indicated to the OP exactly what her personailty is like.

Nope. Some guys just come across as players. 99% of the time that's obvious to me, and so I'll make a comment like that to confirm it. If the guy laughs and says something like 'yeah if I try 100 girls one might like me', then I'll have a laugh and say fair play, at least he's honest. If he gets all defensive and insults me, then that's just confirmation that he's not someone I want to talk to. Women are in a different position to men in this environment, much more vulnerable. That is something a lot of men seem to forget. I am always slightly wary of being approached by total strangers, especially if they're buying me a drink and I will try to size them up. At the end of the day, if you insult the girl, or make a sleazy comment, it's your loss. She'll just end up with someone else, who isn't so obviously trying to get into her pants and you'll be posting on Boards about how snotty and mean woman are these days.

iguana

Niceishguy wrote: »

If a girl asks me that, is she effectively telling me she's not interested .............?

No. She is basically saying she likes you and hopes you are looking for more from her than a one night stand. It's kind of a different spin on "I bet you say that to all the girls!" She just wants to know she isn't just another notch on your bedpost before taking things any further.

Though I do agree with the poster who said this displays a lack of confidence on her part. If she doesn't want to have a one night stand she should just say so. But she doesn't just say so as that way she would be letting you know that she assumes you wish to have sex with her. Instead she gives you a twisted compliment to find out where she stands and hopefully hear she is special without confirming her interest.

Liam Byrne

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818]Some guys just don't understand women.[/QUOTE]

In many cases, for good reason! But likewise, women don't understand men if they think there's a point to saying something like that.

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818] :rolleyes: If you're being chatted up by a guy who seems very confident (or possibly even cocky), it's natural to want to establish if he really likes you or if he does this to all the girls.[/QUOTE]

No argument there, but why do it in a rude way ? And why do it in a way that's not going to give you an answer ? I mean, if he WAS one of those, wouldn't he say "No" either way ?

Does the fact that he's chatting to you not mean that you're "special enough" ? Or - realistically speaking, since neither of you know each other yet - "special enough" to want to talk to and see if ye get on ?

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818]A lot of guys DO just go around looking for someone to shag and I personally wouldn't be interested in that. Now, phrasing the question in that way is slightly too blunt, but I probably would say something like 'ah I bet you say that to all the girls!' if I was getting the 'player' vibe from a guy.[/QUOTE]

A lot of girls do this, too, y'know. That's why it's sexist. AND it's pointless...like I said, you'll insult the decent guy, and the "player" will be well used to answering "No" and being convincing.

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818]If the OP has been asked this question by various women recently, then he is obviously giving off that vibe. Girls like to feel a bit special, not like she's the 10th girl he's tried it on with that night. Making a comment like that isn't an insult, she's trying to gauge his motivation. If I got an answer like the one you posted, that just confirms that he's a sleazy muppet out for one thing only. [/QUOTE]

Of course, you're thereby alleviating yourself from blame in doing this; if you hadn't asked an insulting and pointless question, I wouldn't have given you that answer. It IS an insult. FACT.

And by asking that you insulted my integrity and therefore you're not worth my time. The reason I was talking to you was to find out more about what you were like, not because either of us scoring was a foregone conclusion. It works both ways, and by asking you've revealed something about your mentality.

[quote=[Deleted User];63139818]And again, you'd just be confirming to the girl that you are in fact a d*ckhead, and that she was right to be cautious.[/QUOTE]

Choose to think what you like; I've no intention of being a dickhead, but if I get insulted by someone who acts like one or insults me, I'll move on.

And interaction between TWO people is precisely that - BETWEEN two people; if you want to be "made feel special", then you have to treat the other person with respect too.

Bonito

[quote=[Deleted User];63140152]Nope. Some guys just come across as players. 99% of the time that's obvious to me, and so I'll make a comment like that to confirm it. If the guy laughs and says something like 'yeah if I try 100 girls one might like me', then I'll have a laugh and say fair play, at least he's honest. If he gets all defensive and insults me, then that's just confirmation that he's not someone I want to talk to. Women are in a different position to men in this environment, much more vulnerable. That is something a lot of men seem to forget. I am always slightly wary of being approached by total strangers, especially if they're buying me a drink and I will try to size them up. At the end of the day, if you insult the girl, or make a sleazy comment, it's your loss. She'll just end up with someone else, who isn't so obviously trying to get into her pants and you'll be posting on Boards about how snotty and mean woman are these days. [/QUOTE]
Touché

But what happens when the lad is shy and he's been building up the confidence all night to talk to a girl all night and then when he finally does come over to say hi or can i get you a drink or whatever and she turns around and says something like that he's obviously gonna be stunned and basically be shot down, i agree yes girls are far more vulnerable than men in this sort of situation but you shouldn't open fire the minute you see our cover, judge us after you've gotten to know us a bit beacause we're not all just out looking for the one night stands or whatever, the pricks make it a lot harder for us than you'd think:(

CDfm

I agree with Izzy -its a one liner comment and it just happens to be a fashionable thing to say at the moment. It must have been a line used in a movie or something recently and is used when someone is stuck for something to say.Dont read loads into it.

So what you do if you like a girl come up with some silly banter to get over that like " I bet you say that to all the boys" or " Only if you want me to be" or more serious " does that mean you are going to say yes when I ask you on a date" or" if you dated me I could close the door on that old life". Something corny and old fashioned.

Liam Byrne

[quote=[Deleted User];63140152]Nope. Some guys just come across as players. 99% of the time that's obvious to me, and so I'll make a comment like that to confirm it. If the guy laughs and says something like 'yeah if I try 100 girls one might like me', then I'll have a laugh and say fair play, at least he's honest.[/QUOTE]

WTF ????? Are you SERIOUS ???

If he's chancing his arm with 100 girls and you view that as "honest", you'll stay talking to him ???

[quote=[Deleted User];63140152]If he gets all defensive and insults me, then that's just confirmation that he's not someone I want to talk to.
:
:
:
At the end of the day, if you insult the girl, or make a sleazy comment, it's your loss. She'll just end up with someone else, who isn't so obviously trying to get into her pants and you'll be posting on Boards about how snotty and mean woman are these days. [/QUOTE]

And therein lies the complete double-standards that I was talking about!!!! You're OK insulting him with a pointless question with no good reason, but if he insults you - probably solely because of that, because he had no intention of insulting you until you threw that at him - then it's somehow "his loss" ???

I'll remind you again; who made the first comment / question that fvcked up what was otherwise a fun and interesting getting-to-know-you encounter with a ridiculous - and potentially insulting - question ?

I would assume that the conversation was going fine up to that point ?

So who screwed it up ? The guy for reacting to a stupid question ? Why would he want to be with someone who'd ask such a ridiculous question ?

I give up! :rolleyes:

Liam Byrne

I'm reminded of the old story about a question on the American Visa application :

"Do you, while in the country, intend to commit any acts of terrorism ?"

[ ] Yes
[ ] No

Tick as appropriate

Liam Byrne

Liam Byrne wrote: »

In many cases, for good reason! But likewise, women don't understand men if they think there's a point to saying something like that.

Funny cos no man I have ever made that sort of comment to has ever responded in a rude way, or been insulted.

No argument there, but why do it in a rude way ? And why do it in a way that's not going to give you an answer ? I mean, if he WAS one of those, wouldn't he say "No" either way ?

WE ARE NOT STUPID! All I need to see is a reaction, regardless of what his actual answer is, and I'll know if he's the player type.

Does the fact that he's chatting to you not mean that you're "special enough" ? Or - realistically speaking, since neither of you know each other yet - "special enough" to want to talk to and see if ye get on ?

Not necessarily, some guys go around the bar chatting up every woman until someone shows they're up for it. See it all the time.

A lot of girls do this, too, y'know. That's why it's sexist. AND it's pointless...like I said, you'll insult the decent guy, and the "player" will be well used to answering "No" and being convincing.

Yeah, I'll give it to you that it is a bit sexist, but I'd rather be a bit sexist than end up in a bad situation or called a prick tease because the guy thought I wanted to go home with him when I was just having a chat.

Of course, you're thereby alleviating yourself from blame in doing this; if you hadn't asked an insulting and pointless question, I wouldn't have given you that answer. It IS an insult. FACT.

You think it's insulting and pointless, a lot of men will realise WHY we ask questions like that. And someone who insults a girl over something like that isn't my idea of a decent guy. At least be a gentlemen and say you didn't appreciate the comment.

And by asking that you insulted my integrity and therefore you're not worth my time. The reason I was talking to you was to find out more about what you were like, not because either of us scoring was a foregone conclusion. It works both ways, and by asking you've revealed something about your mentality.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......
If a guy is a player, it's usually pretty obvious, and if I've judged wrongly, I'll soon find out.

Bonito

Well i think i'll tick yes and take my Visa thank you very much

TBH it's sorta like the tea-pot calling the kettle black.

The girl is allowed make a nasty comment half accusing the OP of being a "player" (presumably because she's female this is what gives her the right to do it)

But if the OP where to reply with an equally challenging answer he's a dickhead and she'll no longer be interested?

That's basically saying we've to let the girl walk on us before she'll be nice to us?

Frankly, if i came across a girl like that I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire, let alone offer to buy her a drink.

Actually I'd still buy that drink, walk from the bar, approach another girl, hi would you like a drink, i had originally bought it for that girl over there but she accused me of only wanting to get in to her nickers, I'd leave her with the drink and walk back to my friends, there's my good deed done for the day

Liam Byrne

Would now be a good time to highlight something that I said in my original response :

Liam Byrne wrote:

Tell it like it is, but in a jokey way

Basically, if it's a "test" or isn't meant as a real insult, then whoever you're talking to might actually have a sense of humour....and if they do, they'll take your response in the same way as they asked the original question.....a bit of banter.

And if ye both laugh, happy days....your senses of humour are compatible, and you know you can defuse a situation without getting walked on.

And otherwise, it's obvious that she can dish it out but can't take it.

A reply like I proposed is no more - or no less - insulting than the original question; if the guy is meant to take it light-heartedly, then so is the girl.

Liam Byrne

Liam Byrne wrote: »

WTF ????? Are you SERIOUS ???

If he's chancing his arm with 100 girls and you view that as "honest", you'll stay talking to him ???

No, you missed my point. I'll laugh at his honesty and probably have a friendly chat with him. Sure, bit of a player but he might be a fun guy. If he insulted me, I'd think he was an asshole and walk away.

And therein lies the complete double-standards that I was talking about!!!! You're OK insulting him with a pointless question with no good reason, but if he insults you - probably solely because of that, because he had no intention of insulting you until you threw that at him - then it's somehow "his loss" ???

I'll remind you again; who made the first comment / question that fvcked up what was otherwise a fun and interesting getting-to-know-you encounter with a ridiculous - and potentially insulting - question ?

I would assume that the conversation was going fine up to that point ?

So who screwed it up ? The guy for reacting to a stupid question ? Why would he want to be with someone who'd ask such a ridiculous question ?

I give up! :rolleyes:

But it's NOT a pointless question! It's a very useful one and as I said, most guys do not get offended by it as they understand why you are asking. There has to be a reason to ask, because we don't just say it to every guy we meet! I've only ever said it to people who came across as too-smooth, too-confident types. If several girls have said it to the OP recently, then surely he must be giving off this vibe??

Liam Byrne

I'll repeat my earlier question:

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I mean, if a guy said "I bet you're the type of girl who goes home with someone every weekend", he'd probably get a slap across the face!!!

Well, Tanner Creamy Rodent - would you be insulted by the above or not ?

And without distracting you from that question, which I want an answer to, there's this :

[quote=[Deleted User];63140659]There has to be a reason to ask, because we don't just say it to every guy we meet![/QUOTE]

It's his first time meeting you. How does he know this ?

[quote=[Deleted User];63140659]If several girls have said it to the OP recently, then surely he must be giving off this vibe??[/QUOTE]

It's their first time meeting him. How do they know this ?

CDfm

Wow Guys - it really is not that big a deal. Izzy is right IMHO and its just banter and its about how you respond to it that counts. You have to be fun/charming to get to that stage of the conversation so if you cant be witty pay the lady a compliment.Tell her that her blouse is gorgeous and the colour suits her and ask her if she will wear it out on a date with you.

Go for it OP.It may be you shy away if this is said and dont proceed any further and ask the girl to dance or out or for her number.

It isnt double standrds asssessing someones personality to see if they are dateable.

Liam Byrne

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I'll repeat my earlier question:



Well, Tanner Creamy Rodent - would you be insulted by the above or not ?

You are just not getting the point, so I don't see the point in going round and round in circles. It is NOT the same for men and women. Most women not tend to go over and chat up guys which means your hypothetical situation is very unlikely to happen. Read iguana's post, she put it very well. It is not meant as an insult, it's just the woman's way of establishing exactly what it is you want. You are reading WAY too much into it.

It's their first time meeting him. How do they know this ?

Women are not stupid. We get approached by all kinds of men all the time from a young age. I get the feeling that you seriously underestimate how important body language, attitude, demeanor are. It's very, very rare than my first impression of someone is totally off base.

unhappycamper

This rings a bell BIGTIME with my experience last week. I was on a 2nd date and she said a little birdie told her I was a womanizer. I didn't and don't take stuff like that lightly. Needless to say I found it very insulting and we have no future. It is so rude for people to make decisions that are based on gossip especially before I was given a fair chance.

Liam Byrne

[quote=[Deleted User];63140814]Most women not tend to go over and chat up guys which means your hypothetical situation is very unlikely to happen.[/QUOTE]

Nice cop-out. I asked a straight question and you're refusing to answer.

[quote=[Deleted User];63140814]It is not meant as an insult, it's just the woman's way of establishing exactly what it is you want. You are reading WAY too much into it.[/QUOTE]

If I am, then you are reading WAY too much into the reply; I already said that it's a way of letting someone know - in a jokey way, aligned with their standards of a "joke", while also indicating that you don't put up with crap and double-standards.

[quote=[Deleted User];63140814]Women are not stupid. We get approached by all kinds of men all the time from a young age. I get the feeling that you seriously underestimate how important body language, attitude, demeanor are. It's very, very rare than my first impression of someone is totally off base.[/QUOTE]

That's a bit patronising, to be honest. A combination of things - including what you say - will let you know what someone wants; body language, attitude and demeanour are all important. But if you - as you suggested above - are expecting a guy to do all the running, including coming over to chat you up - it's completely unfair to fire out a stupid "test" like this.

If you can read people as well as you say you can, then you can do it without being so in-your-face.

I'll ask again; would you view the above question as an insult ? It's actually even more applicable if it's so rare, because you might have just plucked up the courage to talk to a guy.

So would you or not ?

Liam Byrne

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Nice cop-out. I asked a straight question and you're refusing to answer.

Well, if I approached a guy, sat down beside him without asking, started flirting with him, I'd expect to be asked if I was a hooker, to be honest.

If I am, then you are ready WAY too much into the reply; I already said that it's a way of letting someone know - in a jokey way - that you don't put up with crap.

But your reply isn't jokey, it's rude. If you like a girl and want her to like you, why would you be rude?

That's a bit patronising, to be honest. A combination of things - including what you say - will let you know what someone wants; body language, attitude and demeanour are all important. But if you - as you suggested above - are expecting a guy to do all the running, including coming over to chat you up - it's completely unfair to fire out a stupid "test" like this.

If you can read as well as you say you can, then you can do it without being so in-your-face.

I've already told you, I wouldn't put it in that way, but it isn't an insult either way. I just can't believe how much you're missing the point here. You go over to chat to a girl you like the look of, but you're willing to throw away any chance of being with her by insulting her and walking away? What does that achieve? All it does is reinforce the fact a lot of guys are d*ckheads, and she is right to be guarded and protect herself. She is going to end up chatting to a guy who was less rude/sleazy, and you're going to be sitting in a corner all bitter.

Liam Byrne

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]Well, if I approached a guy, sat down beside him without asking, started flirting with him, I'd expect to be asked if I was a hooker, to be honest.[/QUOTE]

Well if you stayed talking to him after being asked that, I'd be stunned!!! And I think you should start going to different places, for your own sake, because the guys you seem to have experience of - if you "expect" that - seem to be right retards!

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]But your reply isn't jokey, it's rude. If you like a girl and want her to like you, why would you be rude? [/QUOTE]

Firstly, it's a direct mirror image of the initial question; so if the initial question isn't an insult, neither is the reply.

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]I've already told you, I wouldn't put it in that way, but it isn't an insult either way.[/QUOTE]

Precisely my point, as outlined in my very first reply in this thread. If it isn't meant to be taken as an insult, then neither is the reply. And if someone "dishes it out", they need to be able to take it, too.

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]I just can't believe how much you're missing the point here. You go over to chat to a girl you like the look of, but you're willing to throw away any chance of being with her by insulting her and walking away?[/QUOTE]

And you seem to be missing the point that going over to someone doesn't mean that they've pulled!!! Anything that happens or is said within the ensuing conversation can put the other party off!!!! We're not THAT desperate that we have to take a dig, swallow our self-respect, and stay standing there!!!

If it's banter, then it goes both ways.
If it's an insult, or if the girl can't take it as good as give it, then I'm not "throwing away any chance", because I don't want to be with her anyway!!!

I'm not out to insult someone, but I hate pointless questions and tests, and I hate people who can dish out slagging but can't take it.....but if they lay down a marker, then I'll run with it!

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]All it does is reinforce the fact a lot of guys are d*ckheads, and she is right to be guarded and protect herself.[/QUOTE]

A lot are; so why risk pissing off a possible decent one ?

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]She is going to end up chatting to a guy who was less rude/sleazy, and you're going to be sitting in a corner all bitter.[/QUOTE]

No, she's probably going to end up chatting to the guy who's used to getting asked that because he is a player, and going home with him.

And - aside from the fact that I definitely wouldn't be in any "corner" :rolleyes: - why would I be "bitter" if someone had already proven within the conversation that I probably wouldn't like them ?

Bonito

I think the two of you should have a drink together

feeling a lot of chemistry going on here

scanlas

Any man who gets insulted when a woman says "I bet you say that to all the girls" or something like that seriously needs to lighten up. It's part of flirting, I've heard lines like that from women countless times. If she didn't like you she wouldn't be saying it. She just wants to know more about you, and yes that sometimes involves tests, thats reality, nothing wrong with it.

Liam Byrne

scanlas wrote: »

Any man who gets insulted when a woman says "I bet you say that to all the girls" or something like that seriously needs to lighten up. It's part of flirting,

I agree 100%.

However I've a feeling that you might only have read the more recent parts of the thread. That wasn't the question that the OP was confronted with:

"I bet you're the kind of guy who sleeps with a different girl every weekend".

BIG difference.

opinion guy

Niceishguy wrote: »

Any advice? If a girl asks me that, is she effectively telling me she's not interested and I should walk away? Should I be honest and say that I've had one or two one night stands? Should I tell her that it's none of her business?

None of the above.

This kind of thing is said purely to get a reaction IMHO. Its up there with "I don't normally do this kind of thing". Sure ya don't. Bascially there is no right answer, only wrong answers. If you say yes you are admitting to being a man-whore, if you say no then you might just be too prudish, eh. If a girl is thinking about going back with you on first night she is looking for a guy with enough experience as to be good, but not so much as to be crawling with beasties. The trick is to say something back in a banter tone without actually answering. "jeesh what kinda guys do you normally meet, we're not all the same you know!:)". Nice little response that doesn't really answer the question, can be said humorously, but also rejects the judgement aspect of what the girl said to you and should make her feel a little off-balance for having judged you. also you are now indirectly asking her past which may be uncomfortable enough that she won't pursue, but much less rude because you're only reflecting her question back discretely rather than asking out right like she did.

[quote=[Deleted User];63140539]Funny cos no man I have ever made that sort of comment to has ever responded in a rude way, or been insulted.
[/quote]
Or they've not shown it. I've been asked this kind of thing in the past and I have found it insulting but I've not shown it. We're also not stupid.


[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]Well, if I approached a guy, sat down beside him without asking, started flirting with him, I'd expect to be asked if I was a hooker, to be honest.
[/quote]

WOW, just WOW. You know what I'm not going to take you to task on this one as I suspect you're fellow ladies will have enough to say about it.

shellyboo

[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]Well, if I approached a guy, sat down beside him without asking, started flirting with him, I'd expect to be asked if I was a hooker, to be honest. [/quote]

:eek::eek::eek:

How's life in the 1950's treating you?? This is not reality, Izzy. Not by a long shot.


[quote=[Deleted User];63141118]
But your reply isn't jokey, it's rude. If you like a girl and want her to like you, why would you be rude?
[/quote]

If you like a guy and want him to like you why would you insinuate that he sleeps around?

Telling a guy you've just met that you think he beds a different girl every weekend is pretty insulting, tbh. Any snap judgement about a total stranger is insulting. It's not an effective test, it's just a rude and rather bltchy line that insecure women throw out there as "banter". A defense mechanism so you can pre-empt the fact that the guy may be a player. Anyone who's a true judge of people doesn't need to ask such things, it serves no purpose - ergo it's just rude.


OP, whoever is saying these things to you is a bit of an eejit. Either come up with a witty line to deal with it, or walk away from the girl that says it. Find someone who's capable of a proper conversation.

Bonito

shellyboo wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

How's life in the 1950's treating you?? This is not reality, Izzy. Not by a long shot.




If you like a guy and want him to like you why would you insinuate that he sleeps around?

Telling a guy you've just met that you think he beds a different girl every weekend is pretty insulting, tbh. Any snap judgement about a total stranger is insulting. It's not an effective test, it's just a rude and rather bltchy line that insecure women throw out there as "banter". A defense mechanism so you can pre-empt the fact that the guy may be a player. Anyone who's a true judge of people doesn't need to ask such things, it serves no purpose - ergo it's just rude.


OP, whoever is saying these things to you is a bit of an eejit. Either come up with a witty line to deal with it, or walk away from the girl that says it. Find someone who's capable of a proper conversation.

Thank you Shellyboo I share the same view

I think we'll keep you