Want to defer college year due to depression!

juniper2008

Hi,

I've been pretty depressed for the last year or so now. My life seems to be going in a completely different direction compared to before. I have no social life at all and my life seems to revolve around college (yr3). College is the only thing that gets me out of the house.

This was fine for the last 2 years because I enjoyed college and I wasn't as depressed as I am now. But this year my attendence has been better than previous years but I seem to be doing worse. I can't concentrate in class and this is leaving me unable to do my work etc. It brings me way down now as there is nothing good in my life anymore.

Whenever I can't do something I just get really depressed and can't stop thinking about committing suicide. And evey night I put my head down I start to think about suicide.

I feel that I can't challenge myself at all or accept the challenges that my course throws at me. Lately I just seem to break under the pressure whereas in the last two years I used to enjoy the challenges I liked and just got on with and completed the ones I disliked. This year I can't do any of them, even the ones I like, I just get into a heap if something doesn't go right for me.

--

Yesterday I got an idea that I should defer my year in college to try and get my head together. I'm worried that if I keep going on with the year i'll fail. I've been seeing a councillor for the last few months but it has been going nowhere because I haven't really opened up. I've never mentioned anything about suicide etc.

I don't know what to do now as I can't see myself succeeding in college this year. If I do defer the year I will have absolutely nothing to do with myself and I will just get worse and worse. I can't even see myself leaving the house from one end of the week to the other unless I got a job. The only hope is that maybe I could work through it with my councillor and maybe get medication etc and build myself up inside for next year.

I've told my dad what I want to do..he knows I have a lot of personal issues but still wasn't happy about it. And any time I talk to him about difficult subjects etc he just asks me if i'm able for the course like he doesn't think i'm capable of it..this kills me because I know I am capable but my head just isn't allowing me at the moment.

Has anybody got any suggestions for me?

Thanks for reading..

Rantan

juniper2008 wrote: »

Hi,

I've been pretty depressed for the last year or so now. My life seems to be going in a completely different direction compared to before. I have no social life at all and my life seems to revolve around college (yr3). College is the only thing that gets me out of the house.

This was fine for the last 2 years because I enjoyed college and I wasn't as depressed as I am now. But this year my attendence has been better than previous years but I seem to be doing worse. I can't concentrate in class and this is leaving me unable to do my work etc. It brings me way down now as there is nothing good in my life anymore.

Whenever I can't do something I just get really depressed and can't stop thinking about committing suicide. And evey night I put my head down I start to think about suicide.

I feel that I can't challenge myself at all or accept the challenges that my course throws at me. Lately I just seem to break under the pressure whereas in the last two years I used to enjoy the challenges I liked and just got on with and completed the ones I disliked. This year I can't do any of them, even the ones I like, I just get into a heap if something doesn't go right for me.

--

Yesterday I got an idea that I should defer my year in college to try and get my head together. I'm worried that if I keep going on with the year i'll fail. I've been seeing a councillor for the last few months but it has been going nowhere because I haven't really opened up. I've never mentioned anything about suicide etc.

I don't know what to do now as I can't see myself succeeding in college this year. If I do defer the year I will have absolutely nothing to do with myself and I will just get worse and worse. I can't even see myself leaving the house from one end of the week to the other unless I got a job. The only hope is that maybe I could work through it with my councillor and maybe get medication etc and build myself up inside for next year.

I've told my dad what I want to do..he knows I have a lot of personal issues but still wasn't happy about it. And any time I talk to him about difficult subjects etc he just asks me if i'm able for the course like he doesn't think i'm capable of it..this kills me because I know I am capable but my head just isn't allowing me at the moment.

Has anybody got any suggestions for me?

Thanks for reading..

Sounds to me like you need to re-focus on priorities. Went through rough time recently with work and found it hard to get up in morning. I started to learn to live in and appreciate the moment i live in. Try and notice the little nice things in every day and make an effort to remember them. Things even as small as someone being friendly in a shop, good looking girl/bloke on the street. All these little things can make a good day even with all the other "big" problems.

juniper2008

How do you mean re-focus on priorities?

I find it really hard to see the brighter side of lide at the moment, even the smallest little things.

It actually gets me down when I see other people gtting on around me and noticing nice girls etc. I just think to myself about how I used to be one of those type of people with friends, confidence and the go-get-it attitude.

Dave!

Talk to your programme office and see if it's possible

I didn't have a good time in college in first year, so deferred entry to second year. I did some temping, travelled a bit during the summer, and generally cleared my head for the year.

Then I went back to college with a better attitude and less fatigue, and enjoyed it more

Only problem now is that you might struggle to get any work during the year, so you'd end up moping about the house all the time. If you think you could support yourself and keep yourself busy for the year, then go for it. I'd recommend it for anyone.

juniper2008

I'm sure it's possible, I spoke to them yestreday.

I will be able to support myself for the year but it's what to do with myself. I don't really have any friends that I could hang out with etc. I'm sure I could work on some projects etc but my aim is to spend more time out of the house and less time in front of the computer.

wasper

I think you should stay in college. You said it yourself that going to college made you get out of the house. So if you drop out, what do you think you will be doing.. Nothing. I am not depressed but sometimes when I am off I seem to stay inside doing nothing positive. So to have 12 months of doing nothing will do my head in.
The first two years were productive years so what changed in the 3rd year. You need to find what changed that made it more difficult this year.

LegacyUser

I'm in a situation that isn't far off yours, though I decided to stay as it is my final year and things improved. It's good that you're being proactive about improving your life instead of just whinging about it.

One quote that I've learned is 100% true is "If you don't get it here, you won't get it anywhere". It's your mindset that ultimately is the root of depression, not your responsibilities out there. You could go live on the other side of the world, but that's no good if you take that mindset with you.

This is why my only advice is that if you're going to leave college, make sure you have something to leave for and have a good plan. If college is the only reason you leave the house, then leaving college might just make things worse.

You have another two months to decide to leave before the second semester (which will only cost you half the fees), so think through it, make sure what it is you want to do, and set that in motion so that you merely have to follow your own plan. At least then you'll have the momentum to keep you going.

At the end of it, it's your life and don't let anybody pressure you to stay. You know better than anyone what's best for you.

Sinall

Colleges are usually very understanding of something like this, especially if you provide a letter from your doctor or counsellor. Both myself and one of my closest friends deferred a year at different times - mine was to go away, hers was due to personal difficulties.

My father also uses that "are you able for it?" lingo in relation to exams etc, but what he really means by it is "Are you prepared?Have you put in enough work?". We discovered this when I (in wonderful pre-exam humour!) took the head off him a few years ago over asking me if I was able for things!

It's only one year. If you aren't happy in college at the moment or don't feel up to it then take a year off, focus on yourself and getting yourself better. The work that you put in on yourself now will pay dividends in years to come! Would you consider going abroad for a few months perhaps? A change of scenery can be very helpful

On a side note, maybe try a different counsellor. I think connecting with a counsellor is very important. A healthy diet also is extremely important for a balanced mood.

PM me if you want to talk or need a bit of support.

Susannahmia

Op I deferred the last two years due to depression and the college was great about it. I went to the academic advisory office explained the situation and later on handed in a psychiatrists letter. There was no problem doing it at all and I didnt have to pay anything extra. I'm back now this year and doing well

Rantan

juniper2008 wrote: »

How do you mean re-focus on priorities?

I find it really hard to see the brighter side of lide at the moment, even the smallest little things.

It actually gets me down when I see other people gtting on around me and noticing nice girls etc. I just think to myself about how I used to be one of those type of people with friends, confidence and the go-get-it attitude.

Thats a hard place to be. What I meant by refocus on priorities was concentrate more on living day to day and focus on try not to dwell on issues such as college etc for a while.
I think you need to be honest to your councelor and tell him exactly how you feel. He is there to help you. You are wasting your time if you dont open up, its tough at the time, but you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you do. PLease make a commitment to do this???

SarahChambers

juniper2008 wrote: »

Hi,

I've been pretty depressed for the last year or so now. My life seems to be going in a completely different direction compared to before. I have no social life at all and my life seems to revolve around college (yr3). College is the only thing that gets me out of the house.

This was fine for the last 2 years because I enjoyed college and I wasn't as depressed as I am now. But this year my attendence has been better than previous years but I seem to be doing worse. I can't concentrate in class and this is leaving me unable to do my work etc. It brings me way down now as there is nothing good in my life anymore.

Whenever I can't do something I just get really depressed and can't stop thinking about committing suicide. And evey night I put my head down I start to think about suicide.

I feel that I can't challenge myself at all or accept the challenges that my course throws at me. Lately I just seem to break under the pressure whereas in the last two years I used to enjoy the challenges I liked and just got on with and completed the ones I disliked. This year I can't do any of them, even the ones I like, I just get into a heap if something doesn't go right for me.

--

Yesterday I got an idea that I should defer my year in college to try and get my head together. I'm worried that if I keep going on with the year i'll fail. I've been seeing a councillor for the last few months but it has been going nowhere because I haven't really opened up. I've never mentioned anything about suicide etc.

I don't know what to do now as I can't see myself succeeding in college this year. If I do defer the year I will have absolutely nothing to do with myself and I will just get worse and worse. I can't even see myself leaving the house from one end of the week to the other unless I got a job. The only hope is that maybe I could work through it with my councillor and maybe get medication etc and build myself up inside for next year.

I've told my dad what I want to do..he knows I have a lot of personal issues but still wasn't happy about it. And any time I talk to him about difficult subjects etc he just asks me if i'm able for the course like he doesn't think i'm capable of it..this kills me because I know I am capable but my head just isn't allowing me at the moment.

Has anybody got any suggestions for me?

Thanks for reading..

What course are you doing?????

juniper2008

Gee, thanks for all the support guys/gals! It really means a lot to know that other people here have been in a similar situation.

I've ben thinking about it and its makes more and more sense I think. This is my 5th year in college and I think i'm just getting a bit tired of it now as it seems to be an endless journey, I think I just need break.

I really think that i'm going to take the year out to get myself together and toughen myself up mentally.

I'm going to speak with my councillor on Monday and tell her abuot my plans and reasoning behind it.

SarahChambers wrote: »

What course are you doing?????

Computing

rainbow kirby

juniper2008 wrote: »

I've ben thinking about it and its makes more and more sense I think. This is my 5th year in college and I think i'm just getting a bit tired of it now as it seems to be an endless journey, I think I just need break.

When you hit the 5 year mark in college, it gets to be a really big pain in the hole tbh!

I took a year out after my 5th year in college (which for me meant after 3rd year of my CS degree, long story) and I honestly think it was one of the better decisions I've made. I worked for the year, hated the job I was in, but I was living with friends, I was away from the college environment for the year and I really do think it made me appreciate things more when I came back into final year. You might find that if you take the time out that you'll feel the same way.