Men are so complicated

LegacyUser

Hi I'm completely new to this whole thing...

A few years back I had serious self confidence issues and had quite a few one night stands, pretty much just to prove to myself that I could still pull men?!. I eventually got myself back on track and copped on to myself (this took 2 years but I got there!!) Now i have completely different thoughts on sex. I won't have sex unless I actually know and like the guy.

I met a guy a few months back and decided to give him a chance. we met up alot over a few weeks, mostly going for a drive somewhere nice and talk for hours, the time just flew, we really hit it off, couldn't get enough of eachothers company. a few times he said how he was mad about me and felt so comfortable around me, listed out little features that he was mad about in me, little sweet things like that.

Eventually I decided I liked him and the next time we met we had sex, afterwards he couldnt keep his hands off me, told me that that was it and he had fallen for me. The next day we met up and one thing led to another a few times during the day (we really couldn't get enough of eachother) and that night we had a few drinks and the mood got going again!

The next morning the same thing but immediately afterwards he turned away and was really "off" with me, he left without a word. I hadn't heard from him in a few days and if I text him I got short replies. I asked straight out what was up and he told me he was "mad about me but couldn't do this right now". I know for a fact that he doesn't have a girlfriend so what else could it be because everything was going fantastic.

So.... where did I go wrong?! Or am I living in a little bubble where I wrongly assumed that he genuinely liked me?

Liam Byrne

I'd change the thread title to "Some people", for a start, because

1) Not all men are like this, and
2) Many women are like this, and worse

Getting intimate with someone (whether physically or emotionally, or both) includes a level of trust and similar minds; some people see it differently to others.

No-one can tell you what was in his head or whether he was geniune or a player; and despite the fact that you're almost guaranteed to get replies with that crap "he's not that into you" stock response, the fact is that no-one knows.

But forget about where you "went wrong"; you may not have! (unless you went mental and jealous or clingy or paranoid and you're not telling us).

As long as you were true to yourself, face the fact that he doesn't want to be with you, forget him, and find someone who does.

Best of luck!

finbarrk

Hard to know. It looks like you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he felt too young to be getting serious about someone?
You will have to meet up with him and have a chat and ask him did you do something wrong or what happened.

Kiera

Sounds like he wanted to start something with you but when it came to the crunch it wasnt what he actually wanted. Its not just men that do this either.