Separating & New guy messing me about?

LegacyUser

Hi guys, Would like some opinions on this. I'm going through a separation at the moment which is really stressin me out. I should just explain that we are still living together trying to agree on the property with solicitors. - in short it's all in hand.

In the meantime, I've gotten close to a co worker who I really like. We are going out together and were just friends but I do like him. Anyway a few weeks ago we kissed and I got the impression he wanted to sleep with me but I wasn't comfortable and he went home. Things were awkward. I don't work directly with him. He texted to say he just wanted to be friends so I thought fair enough. We were a bit off hand with each other for 2 weeks but started getting friendly again.

He was here again last night and we got cuddly and kissed again. Anyway I have problems trusting people so told him he confused me. He knows my situation and I said I didn't want to be messed around. He said he didn't understand so I brought up his text about us being friends. He said we are friends but I told him I don't kiss my friends. He kinda made out that I would snog a bloke in a nightclub and wouldn't know him so what was the problem.

I just said I didn't want to get hurt and if he was looking for friends with benefits I wasn't the person to do it with. He said he better leave. I rang him a cab and he went home. So now I'm confused. I feel like I shouldn't have said anything but then maybe I was right to do so because maybe he is taking advantage of my situation.

It wouldn't bother me if thats all I was interested in but I have feelings for him so I don't want to get burned. Haven't heard from him today and he didn't offer much of an explanation to me last night.

Anyway any ideas? Should I just give men a wide birth for the moment? I'm hoping you will tell me I was right to protect myself. He knows I'm not looking to jump into a relationship but I don't think he's being honest with me. And I'm not in the right frame of mind to have complications right now.

For the sake of my job should I just play it cool and not get into these situations with him anymore? While I am hurt about my marriage I know it's over and I have my reason not to want my husband back.
Appreciate ur opinions. Thanks

jellyboy

hi op...
do u really need this now?

Surelly u could do with time to recover from breakup?

be kind to urself...

daisybelle2008

jpoewjf wrote: »

He kinda made out that I would snog a bloke in a nightclub and wouldn't know him so what was the problem.

I just said I didn't want to get hurt and if he was looking for friends with benefits I wasn't the person to do it with. He said he better leave. I rang him a cab and he went home. So now I'm confused. I feel like I shouldn't have said anything but then maybe I was right to do so because maybe he is taking advantage of my situation.

It wouldn't bother me if thats all I was interested in but I have feelings for him so I don't want to get burned. Haven't heard from him today and he didn't offer much of an explanation to me last night.

Should I just give men a wide birth for the moment? I'm hoping you will tell me I was right to protect myself.

For the sake of my job should I just play it cool and not get into these situations with him anymore?

You were right to say what you said and send him home. Give him a wide berth (no need to have any confrontation). Be polite but do not kiss him again if you do not want to get burnt. Because you will get burnt in this situation. You are on a totally different page than him and have enough to deal with and are vulnerable. Count your blessings you haven't heard from him and don't engage in contact with him other than minimum amount of work interaction that is required.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys.... I think I knew this but my head's a bit of a mess. It's not like my heart is broken over him lol I'm getting separated afterall but I thought we had a connection. Didn't seem to be in his nature to be looking for a friends with benefits kinda thing but I'm glad I found out before it was too late.

Really appreciate ur replies

nesbitt

There are several issues going on at once for you OP. Your going through separation (been through this myself) that in itself is rated as one of the toughest stress situations to deal with in life. Your involved in a 'friend' situation with a guy from work, that is a no no for alot of people, it is very awkward and you can have enough going on in your working day, than seeing him etc.

Dating should be fun! It seems as if your not ready to date just now, and that is in no way a judgement of you at all, sometimes you have to give yourself time to get to a happier place in your self and dating will be fun and all the things it should be for you when you are ready.

Concentrate on separating with your ex, your job, your family and most importantly your girlfriends, and platonic male friends (with no agenda!) and you should do just fine.

Mind yourself...