am I a weirdo?

LegacyUser

i had a one night stand about 3 months ago. Back then, I sent this guy 3 messages on facebook ( yeah i know i should have left it at one ) but i thought maybe he didnt get it or something ( i was trying to kid myself ) anyways I never heard back from him. So last night I was on facebook and I searched him ( just for a look) and he had blocked me!! I couldnt believe it - just because I sent 3 emails. It really shocked me. Am I some crazy stalker that he is now afraid of and thinks im weird? Or is he over - sensitive? I admit I shouldnt have sent the 3 mails and I had and dont EVER have any intention of contacting him again but to block me over 3 emails..... I didnt say anything nasty at all in them.

Alessandra

weirdo!!! wrote: »

i had a one night stand about 3 months ago. Back then, I sent this guy 3 messages on facebook ( yeah i know i should have left it at one ) but i thought maybe he didnt get it or something ( i was trying to kid myself ) anyways I never heard back from him. So last night I was on facebook and I searched him ( just for a look) and he had blocked me!! I couldnt believe it - just because I sent 3 emails. It really shocked me. Am I some crazy stalker that he is now afraid of and thinks im weird? Or is he over - sensitive? I admit I shouldnt have sent the 3 mails and I had and dont EVER have any intention of contacting him again but to block me over 3 emails..... I didnt say anything nasty at all in them.

To be honest, if I were the guy I would have blocked you too. 3 mails is a bit excessive. He could have been playing away and didn't want his OH to find out. Maybe he was freaked out by all the emails. Put it down to experience and move on!

Moomoo1

does sound a bit suspicious, maybe he didn't want someone to see this

LegacyUser

i didnt post anything on his wall, just private mails. Note - i wasnt his friend to begin with. I guess he just wanted to forget about the night. God I feel like such an idiot

Boskowski

No, you're not. Don't worry about it.

While 3 emails may seem a bit strong I feel it weirder to block someone. I mean ffs the other night you seemed nice enough to him to sleep with you. Now he can't even communicate with you? Not even to tell you 'that's it'?

File it under 'that's how one-night-stands go at times' / 'not worth it' and forget about it.

Moomoo1

people can still see private emails, maybe he didn't want that risk

magneticimpulse

Its part and parcel with the "One night stand label". You learn the hard way. 1st a guy wont respect you if you put out on the 1st night, then if you contact his private facebook, once and no reply, and then a further 2 times...he definitely wont have any interest.

You deserve better. But have more confidence in yourself. If you like someone, dont go down the one night stand route, because no guy wants to date a girl who puts out or have contact with her. Guys are easy to label girls. Yeah they spend a night with you...but dont expect them to have respect for you after. Its just the way some guys are. Your not weird at all. It happens to all of us. We just learn and move onto the next person. When you do meet someone who is truly interested in you, they will be happy to reply on facebook.

LegacyUser

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Its part and parcel with the "One night stand label". You learn the hard way. 1st a guy wont respect you if you put out on the 1st night, then if you contact his private facebook, once and no reply, and then a further 2 times...he definitely wont have any interest.

You deserve better. But have more confidence in yourself. If you like someone, dont go down the one night stand route, because no guy wants to date a girl who puts out or have contact with her. Guys are easy to label girls. Yeah they spend a night with you...but dont expect them to have respect for you after. Its just the way some guys are. Your not weird at all. It happens to all of us. We just learn and move onto the next person. When you do meet someone who is truly interested in you, they will be happy to reply on facebook.

i dont like one night stands either but i was a bit messed up at the time. And usually I stay away from guys like this. Yeah I wasnt expecting anything from it ( I dont think much of people who have one nighters ) but now im over the bad time i had and checked his facebook and I WAS BLOCKED it just totally shocked me.

pisslips

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Its part and parcel with the "One night stand label". You learn the hard way. 1st a guy wont respect you if you put out on the 1st night, then if you contact his private facebook, once and no reply, and then a further 2 times...he definitely wont have any interest.

You deserve better. But have more confidence in yourself. If you like someone, dont go down the one night stand route, because no guy wants to date a girl who puts out or have contact with her. Guys are easy to label girls. Yeah they spend a night with you...but dont expect them to have respect for you after. Its just the way some guys are. Your not weird at all. It happens to all of us. We just learn and move onto the next person. When you do meet someone who is truly interested in you, they will be happy to reply on facebook.

This goes against everything I as a man believe and feel. I want EVERY girl to put out but only with me. This is the most fundamental ideal of being a man.

Ideally every man on earth would be content if every girl only put out with him.


Also, I reckon the guy might have been cheating or else he just had no interest after that. It's a familiar feeling, you just lose interest completely after you sleep with a complete stranger.

magneticimpulse

pisslips wrote: »

This goes against everything I as a man believe and feel. I want EVERY girl to put out but only with me. This is the most fundamental ideal of being a man.

Ideally every man on earth would be content if every girl only put out with him.


Also, I reckon the guy might have been cheating or else he just had no interest after that. It's a familiar feeling, you just lose interest completely after you sleep with a complete stranger.

No man wants a girl to put out with every man!! Thats what I meant. No matter how lovely she is, the guy will see it as a negative if she puts out on a one night stand (i know im a lovely girl and made mistakes and had one night stands and wonder why a guy who was so interested in me before treated me like sh1t after). Its all part and parcel

Wagon

magneticimpulse wrote: »

No man wants a girl to put out with every man!! Thats what I meant. No matter how lovely she is, the guy will see it as a negative if she puts out on a one night stand (i know im a lovely girl and made mistakes and had one night stands and wonder why a guy who was so interested in me before treated me like sh1t after). Its all part and parcel

I went down the one night stand road a very small number of times. On each occaision, I figured that we got along well and thought to keep in touch because she was nice. Never heard a thing from her again. So it works both ways.

G-Money

Am I the only person here who has never had a one night stand? Sure feels like it!

OP, unfortunately you're just going to have to forget about this guy. Sometimes people just lose interest for whatever reason. I know myself I've been talking to girls on Facebook and then just for whatever reason I get bored or lose interest so I just delete them off it. I know it's not exactly the same situation but you maybe get my drift.

Just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Good luck.

daisybelle2008

Moomoo1 wrote: »

people can still see private emails, maybe he didn't want that risk

Are you saying people can read you private inbox messages on facebook? I don't think that is true. The OP did not send wall messages.

I would have been freaked out and blocked the OP too. Just have to learn from it and not do it again.

Moomoo1

you know how it is... you forget to log out of your account... or the system saves your passwords... or the partner walks in at the wrong time... and kaboom, you've been rumbled.

that sort of thing.

daisybelle2008

Moomoo1 wrote: »

you know how it is... you forget to log out of your account... or the system saves your passwords... or the partner walks in at the wrong time... and kaboom, you've been rumbled.

that sort of thing.

Ok yeah I see, thats true, if the boards are anything to go by that seems to be a big way cheaters are being caught out.

In this case I think he probably was just totally freaked out.

LegacyUser

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Ok yeah I see, thats true, if the boards are anything to go by that seems to be a big way cheaters are being caught out.

In this case I think he probably was just totally freaked out.

I think the world is full of paranoia - it was only 3 emails, bloody hell! You'd think the girl had sent him death threats or something. Come on. You dodged a bullet in my opinion.

Wagon

hjgvhkvk wrote: »

I think the world is full of paranoia - it was only 3 emails, bloody hell! You'd think the girl had sent him death threats or something. Come on. You dodged a bullet in my opinion.

I agree with this. I don't see how someone can just ignore a person like that. It's really just saying "you've served your purpose now **** off". He seems like a tosser.

mood

If someone ignores you facebook message/e-mail/call/text whatever why keep trying to contact them? I don't get it!

Just learn from this and move on. It is only a big deal if you make a big deal out of it.

daisybelle2008

hjgvhkvk wrote: »

I think the world is full of paranoia - it was only 3 emails, bloody hell! You'd think the girl had sent him death threats or something. Come on. You dodged a bullet in my opinion.

Mmm. Someone tracks you down on facebook and sends 3 emails with no response, I would block them.
+ we don't know what was in them, there could have been some freaky content.

LegacyUser

mood wrote: »

If someone ignores you facebook message/e-mail/call/text whatever why keep trying to contact them? I don't get it!

Just learn from this and move on. It is only a big deal if you make a big deal out of it.

i know i was wrong to send them - but he seemed so nice i couldnt understand how he would ignore me so i thought he didnt get them!!!!! Deluded I know. I was actually on the other side of this once - a guy from years ago i went to school with got in contact with him and basically became 'obsessed' with me. For months and months he would text but i didnt have the heart to ignore him as i knew he was sad and lonely. Then i got this obsene text from him once talking about sex and i told him it made me uncomfortable. He apologised and i ignored him for a while. He started the flirting again and i told him i wasnt interested like that and he knew i had a boyf at the time yet still he texted and then i got angry and felt guilty for getting angry and then i text him again. In the end i lost my phone and he couldnt text anymore.

I guess the reason Im so surprised i was blocked because i only sent 3 emails. I feel guilty if i dont reply to one text! I guess we are all different - some of us nice ( like you wagon ) and some not i guess.

magneticimpulse

grandmaster wrote: »

Am I the only person here who has never had a one night stand? Sure feels like it!

OP, unfortunately you're just going to have to forget about this guy. Sometimes people just lose interest for whatever reason. I know myself I've been talking to girls on Facebook and then just for whatever reason I get bored or lose interest so I just delete them off it. I know it's not exactly the same situation but you maybe get my drift.

Just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Good luck.

you seem like you feel like your missing out on something by not having a one night stand grandmaster! well trust me, if ya want to swop my shoes you can have all my ugly memories of one night stands. maybe 2 were ok but thats only because they were quite mature. but overall its never a good experience and id rather not be the expert in that area....trying to get into the long term relationship field...without freaking them out by facebook. im an expert on that too. doh...i wonder what bridget jones would do

LegacyUser

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Mmm. Someone tracks you down on facebook and sends 3 emails with no response, I would block them.
+ we don't know what was in them, there could have been some freaky content.

man some people always think the worst. There was no freaky content at all. Just basically hello is all i said.

daisybelle2008

op again wrote: »

man some people always think the worst. There was no freaky content at all. Just basically hello is all i said.

3 emails is not a lot normally but it is a lot if you are not getting a response. Especially as it was a one night stand where he did not ask for your number or instigate contact. Tracking him down to Facebook and sending more emails despite no response flags a potential bunny boiler. Not saying you are, but to be fair making him out to be some kind of ahole for blocking is just not fair, what was he supposed to do? For all he knew you could have sent another 100 messages until he blocked you.

Calling him a tosser for not responding and saying you dodged a bullet is what you want to hear but it's probably not the truth. Best thing is to move on and not do it again.

LegacyUser

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

3 emails is not a lot normally but it is a lot if you are not getting a response. Especially as it was a one night stand where he did not ask for your number or instigate contact. Tracking him down to Facebook and sending more emails despite no response flags a potential bunny boiler. Not saying you are, but to be fair making him out to be some kind of ahole for blocking is just not fair, what was he supposed to do? For all he knew you could have sent another 100 messages until he blocked you.

Calling him a tosser for not responding and saying you dodged a bullet is what you want to hear but it's probably not the truth. Best thing is to move on and not do it again.

As the saying goes - its nice to be nice. Ignoring someone when they are polite to you is just not on - Fair enough if i sent him 100 abusive mails but come on...... I know people will never agree with me but its common courtesy to be nice to people, even after one night stands. Yes Im not too hot on them but I would never dream of ignoring someone - its just plain ignorant. I was brought up with manners and when i was ignored I thought - is there something wrong with me? Am I weird? But no - he was a rude man. Not me.

Wagon

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Calling him a tosser for not responding and saying you dodged a bullet is what you want to hear but it's probably not the truth.

You never know though. It seems that some are just nice on the one night, and then after that feel it's proper to ignore you. Happened to me, happened to some mates and ive also know those who've done it to others.

I guess the reason Im so surprised i was blocked because i only sent 3 emails. I feel guilty if i dont reply to one text! I guess we are all different - some of us nice ( like you wagon ) and some not i guess.

Some people are just kind of manipulative when it comes to this stuff. Some can really turn on the charm just to get their hole. this chap seems to have dont that. Like others have said, chalk it to experience.

And thanks by the way!

Jack B. Badd

Hrmm...I wonder if this isn't one of those "cruel to be kind" things. If he's not interested then he may feel that responding would only encourage you. While 3 emails isn't that much, if you didn't receive a reply to the first or the second then why keep sending? It's not bunny boiler territory yet but it's getting there.
Either way, a response to tell you that he's not interested would definitely have been the polite option but some people just don't like that kind of confrontation.

LegacyUser

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Its part and parcel with the "One night stand label". You learn the hard way. 1st a guy wont respect you if you put out on the 1st night, then if you contact his private facebook, once and no reply, and then a further 2 times...he definitely wont have any interest.

You deserve better. But have more confidence in yourself. If you like someone, dont go down the one night stand route, because no guy wants to date a girl who puts out or have contact with her. Guys are easy to label girls. Yeah they spend a night with you...but dont expect them to have respect for you after. Its just the way some guys are. Your not weird at all. It happens to all of us. We just learn and move onto the next person. When you do meet someone who is truly interested in you, they will be happy to reply on facebook.

Thats a bit damning! I met both my long term ex and my husband on one night stands!

Now considering I've had about 10 one night stands in my life thats a 20% success rate... about as successful as dating first in my experience!!!

Though I agree that generally they're ****.

Anyway, OP, yeah 3 messages is a bit much but only a bit. Try to just accept the one nighter for what it was.

martdalto

I don't think you're weird, but you probably seemed "eager" for a 1 night stand. I think the whole idea of 1 night stands, is that's why they are 1 night.. no more!

After 3 messages, which I'm guessing he saw 1, didn't reply (because it was a 1 night stand and he wasn't planning on anything after it, even communication!),

then 2, (same as above)

then 3 and decided to block you, as he probably thought you were after a bit more.. and he just wanted a 1 nighter.

It doesn't necessarily mean that he's going out with anyone else, it just means that he was happy for the sex that night.. but wasn't interested in you or anything else after that. (That sounds harsh, but I hope you know what I'm saying!)

LegacyUser

martdalto wrote: »

I don't think you're weird, but you probably seemed "eager" for a 1 night stand. I think the whole idea of 1 night stands, is that's why they are 1 night.. no more!

After 3 messages, which I'm guessing he saw 1, didn't reply (because it was a 1 night stand and he wasn't planning on anything after it, even communication!),

then 2, (same as above)

then 3 and decided to block you, as he probably thought you were after a bit more.. and he just wanted a 1 nighter.

It doesn't necessarily mean that he's going out with anyone else, it just means that he was happy for the sex that night.. but wasn't interested in you or anything else after that. (That sounds harsh, but I hope you know what I'm saying!)

ah i know - its just he was soo gorgeous - and i mean gorgeous. And such a charmer. Id say he knew what he was doing and me - i was flattered. Il just put it down to experience and remmeber it was a good night just watching that match and he was the image of stephen hunt!!! ok - its forgot about - thanks all for replys - i wont act like a weird stalker ever again and even if he did reply, he had no manners. Ok thanks again.

LegacyUser

op again wrote: »

ah i know - its just he was soo gorgeous - and i mean gorgeous. And such a charmer. Id say he knew what he was doing and me - i was flattered. Il just put it down to experience and remmeber it was a good night just watching that match and he was the image of stephen hunt!!! ok - its forgot about - thanks all for replys - i wont act like a weird stalker ever again and even if he did reply, he had no manners. Ok thanks again.

oops im not too good at names - its kevin doyle! tanx for advice all xx

magneticimpulse

howdamning wrote: »

Thats a bit damning! I met both my long term ex and my husband on one night stands!

Now considering I've had about 10 one night stands in my life thats a 20% success rate... about as successful as dating first in my experience!!!

Though I agree that generally they're ****.

Anyway, OP, yeah 3 messages is a bit much but only a bit. Try to just accept the one nighter for what it was.

well i have to say thats the 1st positive thing i ever heard about a one night stand...but then its not really a one night stand if your ex and husband were one night stands?? one night...means just one night sex! ive had this discussion with many guys and they think girls are sluts for sleeping with a guy on the 1st night. so they have no respect for them. you dont have to be nice to a person just because you slept with them one night. dont shoot the messager, its just what years of meeting guys and chatting to them has thought me about their opinions. this guy just wasnt interested in anymore than a one nighter so 3 emails was completely bunny boiler if he didnt reply to the 1st. learn from this and move on.

G-Money

magneticimpulse wrote: »

you seem like you feel like your missing out on something by not having a one night stand grandmaster! well trust me, if ya want to swop my shoes you can have all my ugly memories of one night stands. maybe 2 were ok but thats only because they were quite mature. but overall its never a good experience and id rather not be the expert in that area....trying to get into the long term relationship field...without freaking them out by facebook. im an expert on that too. doh...i wonder what bridget jones would do

I have to admit I do feel like I'm missing out.

LegacyUser

magneticimpulse wrote: »

well i have to say thats the 1st positive thing i ever heard about a one night stand...but then its not really a one night stand if your ex and husband were one night stands?? one night...means just one night sex! ive had this discussion with many guys and they think girls are sluts for sleeping with a guy on the 1st night. so they have no respect for them. you dont have to be nice to a person just because you slept with them one night. dont shoot the messager, its just what years of meeting guys and chatting to them has thought me about their opinions. this guy just wasnt interested in anymore than a one nighter so 3 emails was completely bunny boiler if he didnt reply to the 1st. learn from this and move on.

and these guys that think the girls are sluts because they sleep with them on the first night - what do they think of themselves? Im always curious about these kind of guys. They dont want to know the girl after they sleep with them - they look down on the girls but yet they do it themselves!! do they think they thmeselves are 'great' or do they also disgust themselves??? ask your friends that question. Id be interested to know what they say because I can guarantee you these so called men will sleep with a girl on the first night if she is willing too also. And then they preach about how the girls are sluts. Makes me sick to be honost.

Wibbs

I would say that generally one night stands tend not to lead to long term things, for a few reasons and on both sides of the gender fence too. I've known men who thought there was going to be more to it than there was.

In a way it's a strange thing. I mean if you had met this guy one night and spent the night just chatting and gaining some emotional intimacy, the notion of contacting each other wouldn't seem so strange at all. Yet a night of sexual intimacy where both can be in an emotionally and physically vulnerable state, any follow up could be seen as stalking. It seems to be the way of it in general though.

So I would tend to think that going in thinking there may be more or waking up the next day and thinking there could be more is a generally bad plan. Especially if you're the type of person who gets easily attached especially where physical intimacy is involved.

Basically chalk it up to experience OP.

grandmaster wrote: »

I have to admit I do feel like I'm missing out.

IMHO you're not. I would say that maybe one of the advantages of having one night stands is you know whether you're missing out for yourself. Or not of course some do enjoy them or they fill a need at the time and fair enough

Moomoo1

Wibbs wrote: »

In a way it's a strange thing. I mean if you had met this guy one night and spent the night just chatting and gaining some emotional intimacy, the notion of contacting each other wouldn't seem so strange at all. Yet a night of sexual intimacy where both can be in an emotionally and physically vulnerable state, any follow up could be seen as stalking. It seems to be the way of it in general though.

I think it's just the conventions of our society.