heartbroken over his decision to move on

iguana2005

i cant stop crying tonight..this guy who i have been seeing on and off for 3 years has taken a job abroad which means i wont see him again,
im 35 years of age and feel its too late to ever feel this way about someone again..am gutted..we were always in contact(he lived abroad) and whenever we got together it was genuinely great. We were very much in common with each other and even though all my mates thought all we did was have mad sex it wasnt like that - just walking around, talking just nice company. Met some of his family...he doesnt really care about me now as its a new job for him and he's delighted and not really intetested in settlin down yet

how do i get over it? have met so many **** in my life i really thought i had found someone special..why does it happen to some and not for others..i really dont feel like carrying on..tthe future looked so much better when he was in my life..i live on my own but am not needy buut was nice to have someone who cared for me.

should i really end it? 35 is so late to meet someone. All my mates are in relationships - i know so many people as am the life and soul of the party and genuinely and the only single one...

LegacyUser

My sympathies Iguana ...we've all been there and it sucks big time ...Time will reduce the pain dramatically in the weeks ahead and to a dull ache in months ...with a bit of luck you might even meet someone who will make you 'almost' forget about this fella sometime in the future.For now all you can do is try and keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it day by day ...go for a run ,to the movies ,read etc ...(Hug)

PS 35 is NOT old nowadays 40 is the new 20!

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I feel your pain as they say. I'm 35 as well but thankfully married now (though had a few scary single 30 something years too).
My social circle involves mostly single 30's girls from 31 to 39... but slowly they are all being picked off and coupled up.

I thought it would never work out for me.... but then it did, when I least expected it and its just happened to my friends who's a chronic single and 38. Remember you only need one man and there are billions of them out there. You have to keep the faith.

Why did you stay with this guy so long? I know its hard to walk away from someone you love, but I had to walk away from 2 relationships between the age of 28 & 32 cause they didn't want to settle down. You have every right to be (fairly) upfront with someone about what you want out of life and if it doesn't fit then walk. The picture should be clear within the first 3-6 months, alot of 30s relationships happen really fast, you know how it goes.

Draw a list of eveything you want from a relationship and only accept guys who are NUTS about you, cause thats when it all happens.

Right now you just think you'll never meet anyone cause you're hurt, not cause its likely. Better look next time.... and don't mess around, its either ON or its not!!!

Miss Fluff

Of course you shouldn't end it. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Trust me when I say that you are at the very centre of the storm right now, you are feeling the worst you can and the sadness and hurt and grief while horrific WILL ease. It will ease little by little, day by day and you'll have good days and bad days.

It may take a while but there is a whole life outside your life with this guy. Him not being with you anymore doesn't stop you from being you. Give yourself time, surround yourself with friends and loved ones, be kind to yourself and CUT contact with him. You can only begin the healing process if he is not in your life.

Chin up, you will be fine, just give it time hon xx

extrinzic

iguana2005 wrote: »

he doesnt really care about me now as its a new job for him and he's delighted and not really intetested in settlin down yet

He isn't f***ing worth it. Won't be long now and you will see this. X

dirtydress

iguana2005 wrote: »

i cant stop crying tonight..this guy who i have been seeing on and off for 3 years has taken a job abroad which means i wont see him again,
im 35 years of age and feel its too late to ever feel this way about someone again..am gutted..we were always in contact(he lived abroad) and whenever we got together it was genuinely great. We were very much in common with each other and even though all my mates thought all we did was have mad sex it wasnt like that - just walking around, talking just nice company. Met some of his family...he doesnt really care about me now as its a new job for him and he's delighted and not really intetested in settlin down yet

Just wanted to highlight some things from your post...by the sounds of it this guy probably didnt take the relationship as seriously as you - who's to say he would ever have married you and settled down? I think you're putting too much emphasis on this guy being The One rather than what he actually was which is just a guy you were seeing.

Its hard to get back out there but you will manage it in time, try to see the positives, this is a chance to meet someone exciting and new who wants to be with you, to live in the same country as you and to be with you all the time, not just on and off. Good luck xx

Beruthiel

iguana2005 wrote: »

35 is so late to meet someone.

You're 35, not dead.
Seriously, relax. I met my current partner at age 36. People meet and have relationships at ALL ages.
Age is a number and you should try and teach yourself that.

All my mates are in relationships

So what?
Doesn't mean they are happy. Doesn't mean they will last. Doesn't mean anything.

i know so many people as am the life and soul of the party and

Then you will have no problem finding someone else.
For now, relax, have fun and forget about him. If he wasn't prepared to take you on his lifes adventure, then ye were not meant to be.