starting counselling

LegacyUser

I have finally bitten the bullet, after a long time deliberating, and booked myself in to meet with a counsellor. For a long time now I have been struggling with mild depression (tried anti-d's but to little effect), low self-esteem, feelings of low self worth etc. I have thought about going for counselling in the past but always shyed away from it, i suppose thinking that i wamy wass over exaggerating my issues or that they werent serious enough. I now just want to sort myself out and really try to overcome my issues.

However, I am really really nervous about meeting with the counsellor. I still feel that maybe my issues are trivial compared to what some people have to deal with and the counsellor will think im attention seeking or something?

I am worried that I wont be able to speak out and tell her everything thats going on as I am so used to not talking about how i feel for so long. I never talk to my family or friends about how bad I feel and even when I was discussing the issue with my GP for the anti-depressants, I found it so hard to tell him how i really was feeling. I am so used to putting on a happy front. I find it much easier to write down how I feel than talking to someone, i always feel like they are judging me as i speak.

I am also worried that I will get very overwhelmed as I speak to the counsellor and get very upset and wont be able to talk through tears.

I really want to make the most of the counselling so I am just wondering if anyone has any advice from personal experience of counselling?
thanx

LegacyUser

Hi OP.

I started counselling 10 days ago, and felt exactly the same as you did before going. I was worried that I'd be laughed out of there, although I knew somewhere in my mind that a counsellor would never do that. My issue is slightly different (eating issues) but I can completely relate to the low self-esteem.

I was TERRIFIED going in there. And I cried before she'd even asked why I was there to see her. She literally said 'You seem a bit nervous?' and tears were streaming down my face. It was hard, I won't lie. I cried for the whole session, but I DID say what I needed to say. I went in there intending to be completely honest, and as long as you do that - you will achieve something. I'm a completely private person, so I do know how tough this is for you - but it was ok. It's easier than you'd expect because he/she is a complete stranger, and they can't tell anyone what you tell them.

Also, it gets easier. I went to see her for a second time this week, and it was so much easier to hold it together, even while I was talking about sensitive subjects. (Although we have decided not to continue our sessions, simply because we've agreed CBT would be better for me)

Also, there were some things that upset me that I did feel were stupid and trivial, but she completely made me feel justified in my emotions. It's very difficult to explain, but just remember this is their job, they're trained to do this and you will not be the first or last person to cry your way through a session.

Let me know how you get on OP, and best of luck.

token56

First of all I just want to say congrats on making the decision to go see someone. Its important to remember thats its completely natural to feel nervous about going to see a counsellor, especially for the first time. I've gone to my counsellor a number of times and can still feel a bit nervous before hand, its just natural. But just keep in my mind that they are there to help you, not judge you at all. Even if you think an issue is not that significant or whatever just tell them and they can decide for themselves.

I know its hard to imagine completely opening up to a counsellor when you dont normally talk about issues with people close to you and it might be a bit difficult at the start. But you quickly become more comfortable with the process and you will be surprised how well you begin to do. However you do have to remember you will only get out of couselling how much you put into it. You said it sometimes feels easier to write down how you are feeling than to talk about it, one bit of advice would be to right down all the issues bothering you before you to the counsellor and bring it along with you. You can maybe show it to them, or it will help you when you are trying to talk to them.

The best advice I can give is to go in with an open mind, and just try be yourself when you are talking to them. Dont try hide your emotions, if you start crying dont worry about it, they are trained to deal with that. If something is bothering you but you dont know if its related or if its too small, just say it anyway. Just dont hide away from the real you when you go in.

So best of luck OP and I hope it goes well for you.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I was at my GP on Monday, seeing about counselling. I was actually going for a different issue, but told myself now was my chance to speak up and deal with my stuff. I have put this off for years, but suddenly realised that at 27, I deserve better, should be getting more out of life etc. So i bit the bullet too. I cried in front of her, I struggled to get the words out. We only had a quick chat and I'm going back tomorrow for a more detailed assessment. I was depressed for 2/3 years, and i am a lot better now. she reckons I'll suit CBT. I fully expect that when that day comes, i'll cry for the first session, maybe the second and third too.

For you, it doesn't matter how trivial your issues seem to you, you need a little help, and that's what these people are there for. YOu have nothing to worry about, you have made the first move, and that's half the battle!!.
Best of Luck!!!

Ruby-J

Hi Op,

I can fully relate to you at the moment. i bit the bullet last week and made an appointment for a counsellor. i havent been able to sleep or eat properly since i booked the appointment, with the nerves and anxiety. Next monday cannot come quick enough. its really a horrible feeling but i keep saying to myself, by doing this and seeing a counsellor i am on the road to being and feeling better and becoming a happier person.

Best of luck with it, i hope counselling works for you and you find it helps you to overcome the things that are making you feel the way you do.

oh and by the way, i am so concerned about not being able to speak for the first session, because of meeting this new person and having to start from scratch as such. so i have been jotting things down so that i can bring things written down which will help me to get my thoughts and feelings out. just thought that might help you too for your first time.

Sanjuro

Hey OP.

I went into counselling a few years ago, and finished up about 20 months ago. I can honestly say it was one of the best things I've ever done. I had a vicious temper at the time, and thought I was the angriest guy on the face of the earth. I eventually moved into groups, and while I thought that I had the most problems in the world, I paled into significance compared to some of the others. However, there are no such things as trivial problems or issues. Everything is relative and it is not for one person to say his or her problems are greater than another's.

Well done on a brave move. Takes a lot more balls to do something like that than to just maintain the status quo. But believe me, the rewards are great. The best thing that happened to me was an associate I had known for years but hadn't seen in a while came up to me last Christmas and asked me 'what happened to you?' I asked him what he meant and he told me that he used to dislike my negativity, paranoia and basically hanging around with me. But the change in me was immense and I was now a pleasure to hang around. One of the greatest moments for me in the last few years. It'll be tough, but incredibly rewarding.

Best of luck with it!

Ruby-J

thats brilliant Sanjuro, Congratulations. Its lovely to hear how it has made such a positive change for you.