"Stay at home" Fathers.

AckwelFoley

I was watching a program earlier that had a man that was considered a "Stay at home" father and his wife was the bread winner essentially.

I know its more common today and perhaps with jobs less scarse its becomming more of a necessity than a decision, but how do you feel about it?

Could you see yourself if your wife had perhaps a very good wage staying at home to minfd the children all day and do the housework?

Personally, i dont think i could, actually - i know i couldnt, id have to work outside the home, perhaps its my neanderthal view on relationships or perhaps its because i simply wouldnt be able to do it -

My name is URL

I'd imagine it could be quite emasculating for some men, but fcuk it, if she's on a higher salary then it's the sensible thing to do

either way, it's better to have at least one parent at home with the kids rather than having a child-minder, imo

brummytom

My cousin finished his job last friday to become a stay-at-home dad. His wife's an accountant, she's earning a bomb so it's not like they'll be scraping.

I think it's nice. Money's not everything, having time to spend with your child during the best years of their lives, when they need the most care, love and attention; by far makes up for maybe having a little less money coming in.

Cadiz

I don't think that's neanderthal, it's a tough gig and it doesn't suit everyone - male or female, and there's no shame in admitting it wouldn't be for you.

Two of my male friends are at house husbanding due to the recession. One loves it, one can't wait for it to end. But both of them find it a bit socially isolating.

So Snyper isnt inheriting the farm.....

Wertz

Have 3 mates who do or have done this.
None of them had any complaints about it....wife/gf on better money and/or was the only one who could get work....better the father doing it than paying for impersonal childcare and basically working to pay for that care.
Once you get past the male ego thing of not wanting to be a kept man or whatever, then I suppose you do what makes most sense be it financially or emotionally.

Don't have kids myself and can't really comment on whether I could do it or not...

AARRRGH

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I plan to give up the 9 - 5 in about 6 months anyway, so it wouldn't bother me being at home looking after the kids.

phasers

My dad has been at home a lot more recently and my mam is earning a bit more than him. I can tell he hates my mam "Having to work" as he sees it because he's an old-fashioned guy who wants to take care of his family.

I can't comment on how more modern men feel, but I like having my daddy home more :cool:

Turd Ferguson

I dont see a problem in a man doing it...at long as he is not personally breastfeeding. I wouldnt mind saying at home taking care of a kid all day, I think I'd be pretty damn good at it

AckwelFoley

Cadiz wrote: »

I don't think that's neanderthal, it's a tough gig and it doesn't suit everyone - male or female, and there's no shame in admitting it wouldn't be for you.

Two of my male friends are at house husbanding due to the recession. One loves it, one can't wait for it to end. But both of them find it a bit socially isolating.

MY NAME IS URL probably said it best, saying it must be emasculating.. i think that bit would be a big toughie for me, i do however accept that because of the recession some men do it by necessity and perhaps not by choice, but it must be a tough one to get over.

Granted, of course .. a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do, and if staying at home is what needs to be done for the best interests of the family, fair play to them, but i couldnt see myself ever doing it

c0rk3r

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmWp-rI6vSw

MrEko

If I couldnt find a job or, which could be very likely, she had a higher paying job and for whatever reason we could not afford or did not want someone else minding the kids I would have no problem being a stay at home Dad.

The idea that it makes you less of a man is crazy these days. But then I can cook, bake, clean and do other such un manly things probably means I'm a lost cause anyway.

stovelid

I would do it although it's tougher work than most people (men) imagine and I imagine it gets isolating.

The benefit is seeing more of your kid which would be fantastic and been able to manage your own day, but not having your own money wouldn't feel good.

AARRRGH

snyper wrote: »

MY NAME IS URL probably said it best, saying it must be emasculating.. i think that bit would be a big toughie for me

I thought you were a cross dressing DJ? No joke. Or maybe I have you confused with another poster!!

AnonoBoy

I'd be a stay at home dude if I had a wife who'd support me.









Oh wait..... Dad? Nevermind.

brummytom

AARRRGH wrote: »

I thought you were a cross dressing DJ? No joke. Or maybe I have you confused with another poster!!

I only know of one strange DJ on here... you thought snyper was that one?

AckwelFoley

AARRRGH wrote: »

I thought you were a cross dressing DJ? No joke. Or maybe I have you confused with another poster!!

Spyder . . . .Snyper...

wantolose

well in our house we both reduced our hours and we both look after our little one on our days off, it works out fairly ok, neither of us wanted to send him to a childminder or creche, we were both looked after at home by a parent and it didnt do us any harm, we just didnt want taking him out of his little cot at 7am and packing him off for the day, things can be tight but, we live within our means , grow our own veg and have 4 hens, and no we are not farmers we just have a small little back garden that we gro:)w our veggies on, it works for us!

Cadiz

Nice balance you've got there wantolose, good fer you two.

Shivers26

Currently OH works F/T and I work 3 days a week but I know he would happily be a SAHD if we could manage financially. He is an amazing father but he is in a good, secure job so it would be senseless leaving now. Maybe in the future if we have another nipper it would make more sense to have one of us at home. Childcare costing almost a grand a month for P/T places.

I am really enjoying the days I have at home with the kids. I am up early getting the older lad out to school so housework is done early, this leaves the afternoons free to do more interesting things with them.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

snyper wrote: »

MY NAME IS URL probably said it best, saying it must be emasculating.. i think that bit would be a big toughie for me, i do however accept that because of the recession some men do it by necessity and perhaps not by choice, but it must be a tough one to get over.

Granted, of course .. a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do, and if staying at home is what needs to be done for the best interests of the family, fair play to them, but i couldnt see myself ever doing it

phasers wrote: »

My dad has been at home a lot more recently and my mam is earning a bit more than him. I can tell he hates my mam "Having to work" as he sees it because he's an old-fashioned guy who wants to take care of his family.

I can't comment on how more modern men feel, but I like having my daddy home more :cool:

Cadiz wrote: »

I don't think that's neanderthal, it's a tough gig and it doesn't suit everyone - male or female, and there's no shame in admitting it wouldn't be for you.

Two of my male friends are at house husbanding due to the recession. One loves it, one can't wait for it to end. But both of them find it a bit socially isolating.

Do you know, this came up in conversation with me and my friends the other day and I was quite shocked how many of them were saying they wouldn't be comfortable working to support a man. These girls are all around twenty not particularly conservative at all, but three of them were saying things which basically translated as "a man should work and a woman should stay at home". They're all quite driven, planning what masters to do to get a good job, I really didn't think they'd have held backwards opinions like that

Gyalist

At the time it seemed like a good idea. After all, Richard Dean told himself, he was earning less than his wife Louise, a high-flying marketing executive. And did it really matter who was at home to look after their children?

With that in mind, it was not such a difficult decision for him to give up his career as a manager in the manufacturing industry to look after their ten-month-old son, Jack.

He hoped it would bring them closer together as a family. In reality, it sounded the death knell for their marriage.

"I sensed that Louise was becoming more detached and less interested in me sexually within a year of becoming a househusband," says Richard, 50. "She was always picking on me for silly little things she said I hadn't done, like the washing up or not tidying away the toys.

"It was as if she was losing all respect for me, just because I was the one at home, doing the domesworktic duties. Then, one day two years ago, she announced she was leaving me - and taking the children with her. She told me she was going to go and live with her mother 20 miles away. To say I was devastated does not do my feelings justice. It was as if the bottom had fallen out of my world."

LINK

The article is from the Daily Mail but is still an interesting exploration of the unintended consequences.

Cadiz

Gyalist wrote: »

LINK

The article is from the Daily Mail but is still an interesting exploration of the unintended consequences.

Standard Daily Mail bilge tbh

stovelid

Gyalist wrote: »

LINK

The article is from the Daily Mail but is still an interesting exploration of the unintended consequences.

There it is, lads. From the horse's mouth.

Don't do any housework or your wife will fuck off on you.

AARRRGH

brummytom wrote: »

I only know of one strange DJ on here... you thought snyper was that one?

snyper wrote: »

Spyder . . . .Snyper...

Haha! Sorry.

Joey the lips

I am a stay at home dad. Its a combination of factors. I lost my job last year then my child was declared disabled. So now even if I want to work a cresh cannot take my child. My wife is on good money thank god. So we are lucky. She is not on excellent money so we are just getting by. Anybody in the same position knows what we get.

Personally I hate staying at home. It goes against all my logic as a man. I have worked since i was 16(While i was still in school) I feel lost. I feel like I am not contributing to the house. I am paying the bills but I pay them with my wifes money.

But then on a plus side. I have become very understanding of the stay at home role. I understand the pressures. I love the fact I am looking after my kids.

Any parent staying at home is not easy. Having said that if you can get by it is very enjoyable,

AARRRGH

Joey the lips wrote: »

I am a stay at home dad. Its a combination of factors. I lost my job last year then my child was declared disabled. So now even if I want to work a cresh cannot take my child. My wife is on good money thank god. So we are lucky. She is not on excellent money so we are just getting by. Anybody in the same position knows what we get.

Personally I hate staying at home. It goes against all my logic as a man. I have worked since i was 16(While i was still in school) I feel lost. I feel like I am not contributing to the house. I am paying the bills but I pay them with my wifes money.

But then on a plus side. I have become very understanding of the stay at home role. I understand the pressures. I love the fact I am looking after my kids.

Any parent staying at home is not easy. Having said that if you can get by it is very enjoyable,

You should learn PHP and the basics of web design and start running websites from your home. I do something similar and it is really satisfying and enjoyable.

Overheal

snyper wrote: »

I was watching a program earlier that had a man that was considered a "Stay at home" father and his wife was the bread winner essentially.

I know its more common today and perhaps with jobs less scarse its becomming more of a necessity than a decision, but how do you feel about it?

Could you see yourself if your wife had perhaps a very good wage staying at home to minfd the children all day and do the housework?

Personally, i dont think i could, actually - i know i couldnt, id have to work outside the home, perhaps its my neanderthal view on relationships or perhaps its because i simply wouldnt be able to do it -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion

ejmaztec

If guys are that ashamed, they should take the kids to the park, or whatever, chat up the milfs and tell them that their wives got killed in a tragic accident when the microwave exploded.

They'll then enjoy some sympathy shag evenings away from home.

Joey the lips

ejmaztec wrote: »

If guys are that ashamed, they should take the kids to the park, or whatever, chat up the milfs and tell them that their wives got killed in a tragic accident when the microwave exploded.

They'll then enjoy some sympathy shag evenings away from home.

There is a difference in shame and prostitution. You also undermine women with your pathetic comments. I would report it only i dont think you will learn anything by it.

Coriolanus

I'd probably channel my resentment into making the children fear and/or loathe their mother.

ejmaztec

Joey the lips wrote: »

There is a difference in shame and prostitution. You also undermine women with your pathetic comments. I would report it only i dont think you will learn anything by it.

That microwave took the kitchen window out, and the cat.:eek:

netwhizkid

Stay at home fathers are failures tbh, I don't care about the recession every man worth his keep should get up in morning and go out and earn his crust. It is the natural way of the world. When I eventually settle and have children I would like to be able to provide a comfortable life for mum and kids and not to have the mother going out working to pay an endless mortgage.

Ok alot of women like to go out to work for the social aspect of it and to be financially independent of their men, this is fine but no woman should be forced to if her fella is incapable of providing enough money to keep them . Alot of guys just give* their women €200 or €300 a week, to go buy some groceries and buy clothes, kids crap and stuff.

Husband makes enough to support him and trophy wife plus about three kids living in an average 4 bedroomed house with both having cars under three years of age. This is what every person should be striving for, there is no more important thing to society than family, having happy relationships and bringing up children is the name of the game, if our parents kept putting things off like people are today none of us would be born.

Joey the lips

ejmaztec wrote: »

That microwave took the kitchen window out, and the cat.:eek:

lol

All is forgiven I am laughing now. Well done!

stovelid

ejmaztec wrote: »

If guys are that ashamed, they should take the kids to the park, or whatever, chat up the milfs and tell them that their wives got killed in a tragic accident when the microwave exploded.

They'll then enjoy some sympathy shag evenings away from home.

Was a good scam until that bald twat, Hornby let the cat out of the bag.

Joey the lips

netwhizkid wrote: »

. When I eventually settle and have children .

You have a bit of maturing in attitude to do first as well. well done for the typical after hours response.

stovelid

netwhizkid wrote: »

if our parents kept putting things off like people are today none of us would be born.

What an eminently tempting scenario.

Dudess

netwhizkid wrote: »

Husband makes enough to support him and trophy wife plus about three kids living in an average 4 bedroomed house with both having cars under three years of age. This is what every person should be striving for, there is no more important thing to society than family, having happy relationships and bringing up children is the name of the game, if our parents kept putting things off like people are today none of us would be born.

Do you have any self awareness?

Joey the lips

Dudess wrote: »

Do you have any self awareness?

Surly the after hours stupidity does not surprise you?

netwhizkid

Dudess wrote: »

Do you have any self awareness?

We are all but a tiny link in a long chain of humanity than has existed for thousands of generations and will exist long after us.

Joey the lips

netwhizkid wrote: »

We are all but a tiny link in a long chain of humanity than has existed for thousands of generations and will exist long after us.

I thought you would be required to be over 16 to get a boards account....

Dudess

Joey the lips wrote: »

Surly the after hours stupidity does not surprise you?

You'd think so, but I've gotta admit, netwhizkid/mumhaabu never fails to cause the :eek: expression to materialise on my face.

Probably because he actually believes the stuff he says...

Joey the lips

Dudess wrote: »

You'd think so, but I've gotta admit, netwhizkid/mumhaabu never fails to cause the :eek: expression to materialise on my face.

Probably because he actually believes the stuff he says...

Yes I though the same. If this were discussed in Humanaties it might have carried on at a good discussion rate but unfor nothing lasts long in afterhours....

Hephaestus

1 of my best friends has just quit his job to become a stay @ home dad.

I dont think I could do it personally (if I had kids). I think I'd go nuts TBH

Saibh

netwhizkid wrote: »

Stay at home fathers are failures tbh, I don't care about the recession every man worth his keep should get up in morning and go out and earn his crust. It is the natural way of the world. When I eventually settle and have children I would like to be able to provide a comfortable life for mum and kids and not to have the mother going out working to pay an endless mortgage.

Ok alot of women like to go out to work for the social aspect of it and to be financially independent of their men, this is fine but no woman should be forced to if her fella is incapable of providing enough money to keep them . Alot of guys just give* their women €200 or €300 a week, to go buy some groceries and buy clothes, kids crap and stuff.

Husband makes enough to support him and trophy wife plus about three kids living in an average 4 bedroomed house with both having cars under three years of age. This is what every person should be striving for, there is no more important thing to society than family, having happy relationships and bringing up children is the name of the game, if our parents kept putting things off like people are today none of us would be born.

You really should print this post and keep it for your future self to read in about 10-15 years time... and see if you agree then with what you have written.

netwhizkid

Saibh wrote: »

You really should print this post and keep it for your future self to read in about 10-15 years time... and see if you agree then with what you have written.

Possibly, but there are things I beleive in political, social etc. and until someone or thing proves to me this is wrong then I remain closed to other ideas. Some would say I have my mind closed to the world and am not too trusting and People can call me shortsighted etc. but it is a Dog eat Dog world that we live in and I have opened my mind to reality.

pisslips

Sure I'd absolutely love to be a stay at home dad, do a bit of part-time research, make the meals, go to bed.

Thats what I call livin' the sweet life.

Joey the lips

pisslips wrote: »

Sure I'd absolutely love to be a stay at home dad, do a bit of part-time research, make the meals, go to bed.

Thats what I call livin' the sweet life.

and the kids.......?

Dudess

netwhizkid wrote: »

Possibly, but there are things I beleive in political, social etc. and until someone or thing proves to me this is wrong then I remain closed to other ideas. Some would say I have my mind closed to the world and am not too trusting and People can call me shortsighted etc. but it is a Dog eat Dog world that we live in and I have opened my mind to reality.

Conservative views can be expressed without accompanying drivel from the "let them eat cake" and "bitches ain't sh1t" schools of thought though.

netwhizkid

Joey the lips wrote: »

and the kids.......?

With Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network they practically rear themselves nowadays. You could be writing tweets "making the bobbas bottle now" while posting stuff on boards all day long. Draw rent allowance and the dole = FTW!

Walsh

Do these people exist? I thought it was a myth.