Wondering what was going on!!

LegacyUser

Im going to try and be short as Im not really looking for advice on what I should do as such more an insight into what may have been going on...

I was seeing a girl for a couple of months, everything was great but I was taking it slow as she was just out of a long term relatinoship and I didn't want to be the rebound guy.

Anyway she told me on numerous occasions how mch she liked me and that she was struggling with her feelings/confused/ messed up etc. but that if I could give her time maybe things could work out.

Then all of a sudden she went cold, no reason why just completly quit contact, answering calls texts....anything, this wrecked my head so when i took her up on it she got very defensive told me she was "busy" and sometimes ppl have things they need to be doing..

Anyway i perservered for a while and got a little here and a litttle there, but it was obvious really she had lost interest, despite saying she still really liked me a few times but there was usually drink involved

Finally had it out and she said she didn't wnat anything with me and knew it all along deep down.

Fine, simple you say, just a case of an emotional crutch for someone getting out of a LTR, but then i found out recently that even before she started going cold on me she had started meeting the ex again, had even gone away for a weekend with him (she had told me this was with friends) i remember the weekend becuase it was shortly after this that things kind of went pear shaped...

Sorry if this seems kind of pointless uts just I really liked this one, could see something really special between us, and i feel betrayed in a way even though we were never a couple, she seems to have acted immensly selfish in regard to this situation and the only reason i found out she was still seeing the ex was due to a slip by a friend of hers rather then her coming clean

So i guess i am just wondering did she actually like me or was this just a case of a stop gap while she punished the ex for a few months, I knew he was trying to get back with her all along but she told me that she had no interest..

Sorry for the length, there is actually alot more to this story but i think ive covered the main points as briefly as I could

kittenkiller

She was honest with you about her feelings for you and her stance on the relationship.

Maybe she was torn between you and her ex for a while and finally decided to go with what she knew rather than embark on a brand new relationship with you.

You knew she was getting over a break up and acted how you felt you should, giving her enough room to make her own mind up.

Now that she's back with the ex, it wouldn't be fair on their relationship for her to continue a flirty relationship with you behind his back.
Maybe she didn't come straight out with it to you because she was chicken or maybe she was trying to spare your feelings or just an awkward conversation?

Either way, move on.
No point in dwelling on what never was.
Plenty more fish in the sea!

Terodil

OP, I think you held yourself admirably here. Take that with you as you go look for the love you deserve. I know it's hard for you at the moment, but she just was not the one for you. Best of luck. There is the girl around who is and who you will really click with.