Hair colour preferences and guys

Emme

I was on a date last weekend and it was the first time meeting the guy since we first got chatting at a party. The minute he walked in the door he looked me and said "I thought you had dark hair, did you change the colour?" I don't have dark hair and I had done nothing with my hair colour, I'm naturally fair and get highlights 3 times a year max.

I had put some effort into my appearance so I was a bit taken aback but tried not to show it. He went on to say that hair colour didn't matter but if he had to choose then he would prefer dark hair. Despite this the date went well and I'm meeting him again but I can't help feeling that I'm second best in his eyes because of my hair colour .

I didn't say to him that I prefer guys who have a tanned skin tone (Mediterranean or Indian) and that pasty Irish skin with freckles wouldn't my first choice! Having said that I'm a pragmatist and would probably get on better long-term with a pasty but laid-back Irish guy than some hot Latino, Turk or Bollywood type.

In my experience most Irish guys, when pushed, will express a preference for dark hair. Very few Irish guys would prefer fair or blonde hair. So why do so many girls get blonde highlights? I would go dark myself only it would make me look like the living dead. What's the general consensus? Have other people found that guys prefer dark hair? Or do most of them not mind as long as they like the girl otherwise? What do guys think?

shellyboo

Emme wrote: »

I had put some effort into my appearance so I was a bit taken aback but tried not to show it. He went on to say that hair colour didn't matter but if he had to choose then he would prefer dark hair. Despite this the date went well and I'm meeting him again but I can't help feeling that I'm second best in his eyes because of my hair colour .

What a tit! Honestly, what a stupid and tactless thing to say. If you sleep with him you can get your own back by passing innocent comment on how you "prefer" 12 inch penises

Emme wrote: »

In my experience most Irish guys, when pushed, will express a preference for dark hair. Very few Irish guys would prefer fair or blonde hair. So why do so many girls get blonde highlights? I would go dark myself only it would make me look like the living dead. What's the general consensus? Have other people found that guys prefer dark hair? Or do most of them not mind as long as they like the girl otherwise? What do guys think?

I'm not sure why so many women go blonde - but it's not as popular as it once was. Much more brunettes about these days! I do know a few natural blondes who dye their hair dark as well.

bronte

That was rather rude of him!
He's entitled to his preference of course, but it was a bit out of line to make a point of it in front of you.
Red card in my book. Just shows lack of manners.
From my perspective, I've been as blonde as you can get for 10 years now and have never had a complaint. Different strokes for different folks.
The absolute last thing on my mind when colouring my hair is what others will think of it or prefer to be honest.

ash23

I think it's all stereotypes tbh.
It used to be that blondes were the ones everyone went for. But blonde isn't as fashionable anymore. Anyone with very blonde hair is immediatly put into the WAG catagory.

I have dark hair, olive skin and brown eyes and I do get a lot of compliments about my "dark" looks, particularly my brown eyes.


Personally I prefer darker guys but I'm not so narrow minded that i'd exclude fair guys and i'm not so ignorant that I'd tell a guy on a date that I prefer shorter/taller/thinner/darker etc.
How rude!

Emme

shellyboo wrote: »

What a tit! Honestly, what a stupid and tactless thing to say. If you sleep with him you can get your own back by passing innocent comment on how you "prefer" 12 inch penises

I don't think I'll be sleeping with him somehow or other! It would be funny though - saying "I prefer Latin men with 12 inch penises!":D

I don't know what's worse, him not noticing my real hair colour properly when we first met, or saying he thought I was dark and preferred dark hair on girls. He's a bit of a bumbling nutty professor type so I forgave him. It's not as if I'm a WAG peroxide blonde and anyway not all WAGs are blonde - ie Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole.

I'm naturally fair, get a few highlights 2 or 3 times a year to make me look a bit more healthy and if I did go dark the upkeep would cost a fortune! Even if I was colouring it myself I'd be putting in colour every 2 or 3 weeks and wrecking my hair in the process. Going from fair to dark is not an option for me moneywise and I'd say lots of former blondes have gone dark now is because of the recession, not because of fashion or what guys like or don't like.

As for different hair colours being fashionable, that's just well... fashion. In reality I think Irish guys have always preferred dark looks. But you have to work with what you have - I have pale Irish skin, freckles, blue eyes, fair hair and fair eyebrows and would look ridiculous with very dark hair. As lots of girls with naturally dark features do if they go blonde.

ciagr297

wow, talk about getting off on the wrong foot!

to be fair, some people can't differenciate between the keep-it-to-yourself thoughts and broadcast-this-one thoughts. could've been a genuine mistake.

i was thinking about this recently enough. i know a guy who is absolutely resolute that its blondes or nothing.
meh, i should tell him that it would be better for him to hedge his bets and leave the playing field as wide as possible.

but then i think there are a niche amount of guys AND girls who fixate on such things.

if i think about the guys i've been involved with in the past, its been a fairly even divide between blondes and darker hair (is it wrong to think that the word brunette is only used in relation to females?)
i know i may have a general tendency to dark hair guys but the evidence is that i don't fixate on it

Dolbert

I think generally working with your natural colouring is the way to go. My hair is naturally red with a tendency towards strawberry blonde in the summer, so when I had highlights before they suited me pretty well. I think I'm gonna dye it flame red tonight though :eek:

Thought Bubble

I'm not sure why so many women go blonde - but it's not as popular as it once was. Much more brunettes about these days! I do know a few natural blondes who dye their hair dark as well.[/quote]

I reckon coz it's too expensive now with regards to upkeep and noone likes that 'dark roots, blonde tips' look!

In regards to hair colour, to each their own! You said it yourself OP, everyone has their prefrences (do think it was VERY tactless of your date to verbalise his though!)

On another note, and I realise these are purely stereotypes (would be curious to know where they come from though?!?) but there is the whole idea that

Blonde = Bimbo
Brunette = Serious / Sophisticated
Redhead = Fiery and fiesty

I'm a natural brunette, but I have been both blonde and a redhead. Wonder what that makes me ???

Bubbles.

Cupcake_Crisis

Ive had crazy coloured hair since i was like 15 and guys always seemed to like it!

Madame Razz

OH's absolute preference would be for red hair but I'm black haired. Says the dark hair caught his eye initially so it can't look that bad. Think all men have some sort of preference but it's more defined in some than others. Have a friend who definately has a distinct type; all of his partners have looked alike which is a little freaky.

I think a lot of men have a thing for blondes; whether this is preference or media enforcement I'm not sure but it definately exists. From my own perspective I'm not particularly drawn to a mans hair colour, tho I do think a bit of grey is quite sexy; for me it's all about his eyes; and the more unusual the better:)

minidazzler

Thought Bubble wrote: »

Blonde = Bimbo
Brunette = Serious / Sophisticated
Redhead = Fiery and fiesty
.

This is just wrong in general. Some of the smartest girls when I was doing my leaving cert were blondes.

Some of the most adventurous were Brunette's

I got a kick in the bollix off a redhead, so yeah, fiery....

I prefer dark hair myself(as far as natural tones go), I have my reasons, but what kind of twat expresses this to a girl he is on a date with?

In reality I prefer girls with all sorts of crazy colours in their hair. Massive turn on TBH.

But I wouldn't feel like I was settling if I was to date a blonde. And I definitely wouldn't inform her of my preferences!

Snowie

My god that date nearly beats some of mjors :pac:

Nervous Wreck

I've always liked brunettes... Probably because of this, I've recently been leaning more towards blondes but only natural blondes. The fake-blonde thing isn't my buzz. Red heads are awesome though cos I reckon it takes a really attractive person to pull off the red-head thing.

Whatever way it is though, I don't really care. It's just a hair colour that I'll be used to after 1 minute of conversation. If I like the girl, I'll like her hair. Unless it's short. Cos that's rotten.

Madame Razz

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Whatever way it is though, I don't really care. It's just a hair colour that I'll be used to after 1 minute of conversation. If I like the girl, I'll like her hair. Unless it's short. Cos that's rotten.

So all short hair is rotten??

Generalise much?:rolleyes:

Joey the lips

I never got the hair thing. My wife has fair hair. She sometimes puts blonde in it. She sometimes puts red in it she sometimes puts like a black purple color in it. Could not care. It always seems to match her clothes though so she looks cool.

Through the years I have never prefered any one type although Blondes look lovely in summer and black hair looks lovely in red clothes at christmas. TBH i reckon the bloke the op describes is not very bright

Becuase the fella's handbook comes with the same rules. Always admire her clothes and always admire her hair. It acknowledges her effort. Although I would ad be careful not to do this all the time as it stinks of compliemnt throwing in which case your o/h never believes you then.

Nervous Wreck

Madame Razz wrote: »

So all short hair is rotten??

Generalise much?:rolleyes:

It's not a generalisation, it's an opinion. And in mine, yep.

Madame Razz

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

It's not a generalisation, it's an opinion. And in mine, yep.

Pray tell why?

Nervous Wreck

I just don't find it attractive....

I'm not talking about shoulder-length etc btw, when I say 'short', I mean like short short. Like this is gross:

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPH/C56511.jpg

pikachucheeks

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

The fake-blonde thing isn't my buzz.

Remind me why we're still friends?! :P

I think it's quite telling when a guy tries to persuade you to change your hair, or only likes it a certain way / colour.
It comes across as shallow and completely superficial.

My thinking is, if you genuinely like a person, trivial things like the colour of their hair won't matter. You'll like them on a deeper level, for more substancial reasons than their hair style or colour.

If a guy ever had an issue with the colour of my hair, I'd tell him to go find someone more favourable.
I'm not going to change myself or my appearance because a guy wants me to.

Emme

Joey the lips wrote: »

TBH i reckon the bloke the op describes is not very bright

He's very bright with qualifications coming out of his ears, but not smart if you know what I mean. I think it was more a lack of tact on his part than anything else but I didn't feel too good for the rest of the evening.

I found it more unnerving than anything else that he hadn't remembered the proper colour of my hair. I've no problem with guys preferring brunettes, most I meet seem to, but not remembering the colour of my hair? Now I'm thinking will he be going "Oh, I thought you had brown eyes and not blue eyes" next time we meet!

pikachucheeks

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I'm not talking about shoulder-length etc btw, when I say 'short', I mean like short short.

I think some women can pull off "short short" very well. It wouldn't be a style I'd ever consider or suit, but I think certain women definitely can look attractive with that type of hair cut.

I don't think you're alone in saying you're not a fan though, I've heard for a long time (from friends, in magazines etc) that most men tend to prefer long hair on women.

Thought Bubble

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I've always liked brunettes... Probably because of this, I've recently been leaning more towards blondes but only natural blondes. The fake-blonde thing isn't my buzz. Red heads are awesome though cos I reckon it takes a really attractive person to pull off the red-head thing.

Whatever way it is though, I don't really care. It's just a hair colour that I'll be used to after 1 minute of conversation. If I like the girl, I'll like her hair. Unless it's short. Cos that's rotten.

Have to agree with you about red heads. Am not so fond of ging on guys, but I do think red haired girls are very striking looking!

And as far as short haired girlies go, I would love to have the courage to do very short hair (although I do love my long hair, only coz it took feckin' ages to grow!). To me, short hair says you are confident in your own skin and don't need to hide behind a veil of hair in order to feel attractive!

Fago!

I'm a lover of dark haired girls (especially black haired ones. Oh how I love black hair), but to be honest I wouldn't dismiss anyone with blonde/fair hair. On some people blonde works, but others can't get it right.

Actually truth be told put a girl with pink or purple hair in front of me and my legs turn to jelly.

I'd never judge anyone on hair colour alone. That doesn't matter in the long run or at all. What matters is wether you genuinly like the person.

Madame Razz

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I just don't find it attractive....

I'm not talking about shoulder-length etc btw, when I say 'short', I mean like short short. Like this is gross:

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPH/C56511.jpg

Mine was that short not that long ago. Oh well. I always got a positive response from the gentlemen with it I have to say; but I'll agree that it doesn't suit some women!

pikachucheeks

Fago_25 wrote: »

I'm a lover of dark haired girls (especially black haired ones. Oh how I love black hair), but to be honest I wouldn't dismiss anyone with blonde/fair hair.

I'd be the same with guys. My preference changes all the time, whether I prefer dark or light coloured hair, but I'd never dismiss someone for having hair that didn't match my favoured colour, at that point in time.

Sometimes, someone will come along and be the complete opposite of your "type" or what you thought you found attractive. I think that's fun though, it's interesting to shake things up.

Plus, if you find someone attractive, it's doesn't normally have a lot to do with the colour of their hair.

Fago_25 wrote: »

Actually truth be told put a girl with pink or purple hair in front of me and my legs turn to jelly.

I miss my mad hair now
I'm considering getting it back... Hmm.

Fago!

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I'd be the same with guys. My preference changes all the time, whether I prefer dark or light coloured hair, but I'd never dismiss someone for having hair that didn't match my favoured colour, at that point in time.

Sometimes, someone will come along and be the complete opposite of your "type" or what you thought you found attractive. I think that's fun though, it's interesting to shake things up.

Plus, if you find someone attractive, it's doesn't normally have a lot to do with the colour of their hair.



I miss my mad hair now
I'm considering getting it back... Hmm.

Yeah I've seen your mad hair in a pic io the KYN thread. I thought that was really lovely. Do change it back. It suited you.

metaoblivia

Firstly OP, it was very rude of your date to say that, even if he didn't realize how it would come cross. We all have preferences, but there's no need to go spouting them, especially to someone who doesn't happen to be that preference.

For me, hair color on guys is really a non issue, although in the past, I have been insecure about my own hair color and coloring in general. I grew up in a place where blonde and tan is the ideal, and if you've see pics of me in TLL pics thread, you know that's not quite me! So I figured a lot of guys would discount me immediately based on that. But I don't think it happens as much as I feared it would when I was a teenager. Although, if I guy did tell me that he preferred blondes, it would make me a bit wary and I would wonder why he was with me if he had such an interest in blondes.

xoxyx

I know where you're coming from OP re. many Irish guys showing a preference to dark haired girls. I, myself, think dark hair can be better in a lot of cases, but it doesn't suit me.
However, from what I can tell, a lot of my current beau's girlfriends were dark haired, and when he met me I was a (very) redhead and he still fell head over heels for me . But my normal colour is blonde and when I went back to it he said that he much preferred that even over the darker red. So, just because a guy usually prefers a certain colour, doesn't mean that he won't prefer you with a different one - it's all down to what suits you.
I prefer dark haired men, but I've definitely dated the occasional light haired fella, and once, even, a redhead (and he was hot!!!)!
It was a tactless remark for him to make, but if he's one of those people who speak without thinking, he probably meant no offence - and, if he forgot your hair colour in the first place, that means it's not that big a deal for him!

Lia_lia

I have always had naturally blonde hair. My hair is the part of me that get that complimented on the most (er..only) by both girls and guys. Everyone says that I should never ever dye it darker. And I wouldn't. It would just be too much hassle to get it back to its original colour again I guess. And my eyebrows and skin is so fair that brown hair would just look silly on me. And I like it. I do get the "blondie" comments a fair bit though. Especially from punters in the bar I work in.

On guys I tend to go for darker hair, but generally I don't care. I have just ended up with dark haired fellas.

vinylbomb

Its totally horses for courses AFAIK.

I have blonde hair, blue eyes, slightly sallow complexion.
By coincidence, I am most attracted to girls with blonde hair (natural, not fond of really bottled looking blonde), blue eyes and slightly sallow complexion.

But if I meet a girl with an amazing personality I don't think I'd be too worried if she was brunette, blonde, red or multi-shaded rainbow to be honest.

Nervous Wreck

Madame Razz wrote: »

Mine was that short not that long ago. Oh well. I always got a positive response from the gentlemen with it I have to say; but I'll agree that it doesn't suit some women!

Some guys are mad on it cos it's not the norm and takes balls to do. I just ain't one of them! Some girls defo get away with it a LOT better than others though. Yer wan in that pic I posted looks like a lad.

skywards

Thought Bubble wrote: »

Blonde = Bimbo
Brunette = Serious / Sophisticated
Redhead = Fiery and fiesty

My hair colour is sort of a mix of all three, does that mean I'm a seriously fiesty bimbo? :pac:

vinylbomb

skywards wrote: »

My hair colour is sort of a mix of all three, does that mean I'm a seriously fiesty bimbo? :pac:

Youre a blondettehead?

skywards

vinylbomb wrote: »

Youre a blondettehead?

I have spent 19 years trying to figure out what the hell my hair colour would be called. Thats better than "this really ugly reddish/brownish/really darkish underneath with some feckin blonde from hte sun"

vinylbomb

Glad to be of service

Beetlebum

I naturally have dark brown hair but recently dyed it fire engine red. I've never had so many compliments, even strangers on the street have stopped me and told me my hair is cool:)

I dyed it blonde a few years ago and thought it looked great but looking back at photos I'm mortified by how hideous it actually looked. My dark roots would come through and I have dark eyebrows...gross!!

I also dyed it jet black after seeing Madonna in the video for Frozen. I was 17 and thought I'd look as gorgeous as her if I did it. Big mistake and how wrong I was. I was called Morticia Adams for months and even my friends said I looked harsh and scary! Having said that, I absolutely love black hair on both girls and guys, I think it's easily the sexiest hair colour..

Any key?

skywards wrote: »

I have spent 19 years trying to figure out what the hell my hair colour would be called. Thats better than "this really ugly reddish/brownish/really darkish underneath with some feckin blonde from hte sun"

Bahahaha! I've always been a bit like this too.
I dyed my hair back to brown a while ago (only to have an allergic reaction to the dye the next time I went in). My class of 8 years olds told me last week my hair is dirty blonde with bits or red......fooooooook sake.

I don't think guys notice hair as much as they notice your attitude. If your a confident smiley blonde or brunette/redette their going to notice as opposed to if you feel uncomfortable and unattractive and you think your hair doesn't suit.

seanybiker

my girlfriend is naturally blonde but in the past has gone dark, just to try it out. Didnt bother me what colour her hair is, she is gorgeous anyways.


BTW saying us Irish guys are just pasty, freckled faced chaps was kind of ironic giving your topic.
Twas funny though

skywards

Any key? wrote: »

Bahahaha! I've always been a bit like this too.
I dyed my hair back to brown a while ago (only to have an allergic reaction to the dye the next time I went in).

Yeah, I'd love to dye my hair (well, i'd like to dye it green :pac:) but if it got screwed up I'd never be able to get it back to this odd natural colour i've got :eek:. And I'd probably be allergic to the dye anyways :P

entropi

Being a redheaded guy, i'd have to say red haired women so as to create more redhead wonders;) In the regular world though...i honestly have to say i dont care what colour or length a woman's hair is, usually it would have been short, red/pink/brown and look good on the girl, but nowadays all it takes is that we click then it's all gravy baby!:)

Anouilh

Once, just to brighten things up, I had my hair dyed red on a very gloomy day in Winter.

Nobody recognised me and it was worth it just for the fun it generated.

Emme

seanybiker wrote: »

BTW saying us Irish guys are just pasty, freckled faced chaps was kind of ironic giving your topic. Twas funny though

It was meant to be ironic. Not all Irish guys are like that but most of them are. And that's fine by me even though it mightn't be my first choice. I wouldn't say it though, that was my point.

Emme

Emme wrote: »

It was meant to be ironic. Not all Irish guys are like that but most of them are. And that's fine by me even though it mightn't be my first choice. I wouldn't say it though, that was my point.

Maybe he is stupid?
It must have bothered you alot to start a thread on it.
Do you really want a second date??

donster79

Emme wrote: »

I don't think I'll be sleeping with him somehow or other! It would be funny though - saying "I prefer Latin men with 12 inch penises!":D

I don't know what's worse, him not noticing my real hair colour properly when we first met, or saying he thought I was dark and preferred dark hair on girls. He's a bit of a bumbling nutty professor type so I forgave him. It's not as if I'm a WAG peroxide blonde and anyway not all WAGs are blonde - ie Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole.

I'm naturally fair, get a few highlights 2 or 3 times a year to make me look a bit more healthy and if I did go dark the upkeep would cost a fortune! Even if I was colouring it myself I'd be putting in colour every 2 or 3 weeks and wrecking my hair in the process. Going from fair to dark is not an option for me moneywise and I'd say lots of former blondes have gone dark now is because of the recession, not because of fashion or what guys like or don't like.

As for different hair colours being fashionable, that's just well... fashion. In reality I think Irish guys have always preferred dark looks. But you have to work with what you have - I have pale Irish skin, freckles, blue eyes, fair hair and fair eyebrows and would look ridiculous with very dark hair. As lots of girls with naturally dark features do if they go blonde.

Sounds like a bit of a double standard to me. You say you dont want a pale, freckly pasty Irish lad but you describe yourself as the female equivalent of this. I am a blonde or nothing myslef, don't know why you think nearly all Irish men prefer dark haired girls..

donster79

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Remind me why we're still friends?! :P

I think it's quite telling when a guy tries to persuade you to change your hair, or only likes it a certain way / colour.
It comes across as shallow and completely superficial.

My thinking is, if you genuinely like a person, trivial things like the colour of their hair won't matter. You'll like them on a deeper level, for more substancial reasons than their hair style or colour.

If a guy ever had an issue with the colour of my hair, I'd tell him to go find someone more favourable.
I'm not going to change myself or my appearance because a guy wants me to.

That's the theory anyway, the reality is men only go for women they are attracted to.

Nervous Wreck

donster79 wrote: »

That's the theory anyway, the reality is men only go for women they are attracted to.

Attraction means different things to different people.

pikachucheeks

donster79 wrote: »

That's the theory anyway, the reality is men only go for women they are attracted to.

Same with women!

(With the exception of being drunk or "out of it" on some sort of substance) You're not going to "go" for someone you find unattractive.

However, everyone has a different perception on what constitutes attractiveness.
For me, I'd say glasses are attractive on guys. Someone else might find glasses a total turn off - we all have different tastes.

I'd also say it's possible for you to surprise yourself by who you're attracted to - people who defy your 'type' etc...
You've stated a preference for blondes, however, one day, you might bump into a brunette you think is gorgeous and feel very attracted to. You just never know!

Attraction is about more than hair colour, in my opinion. It runs deeper than that. Almost, if not certainly, into our subconscious - and our chemical make ups.

grenache

I only look for three things in a girl - intelligence, honesty and wit. What colour hair she has is really of no relevance. For a guy to say on a date with a blonde haired girl, that he prefers brunettes is nothing short of idiocrisy. You should have got up and left him OP!

Emme

donster79 wrote: »

Sounds like a bit of a double standard to me. You say you dont want a pale, freckly pasty Irish lad but you describe yourself as the female equivalent of this. I am a blonde or nothing myslef, don't know why you think nearly all Irish men prefer dark haired girls..

I didn't say I didn't want a pale freckly Irish guy but that it wouldn't be my first choice. I also said that I would be happy to go out with pale freckly Irish guy and would probably get on better with him in the long term than a tanned latin guy. TBH I don't really care about looks as long as they have good personal hygiene and we get on well.

Most Irish guys I know love black hair and brown eyes, I've only ever met one who preferred blondes.

donster79

Emme wrote: »

I didn't say I didn't want a pale freckly Irish guy but that it wouldn't be my first choice. I also said that I would be happy to go out with pale freckly Irish guy and would probably get on better with him in the long term than a tanned latin guy. TBH I don't really care about looks as long as they have good personal hygiene and we get on well.

Most Irish guys I know love black hair and brown eyes, I've only ever met one who preferred blondes.

Make that 2.

mood

I would have thought guys in general prefer blonds! I have very dark hair and never went lighter because it would be very hight maintenance and very expensive.

I prefer dark haired guys but that doesn't mean I couldn't be attracted to fair/red haired guys. Attraction depends on the person as a whole.

I wouldn't be bothered about him thinking you had darker hair. You meet at a party. It was probably dark with drink involved. But he sounds very tackless.