Friends Vs Boyfriend

LegacyUser

My friends don't like my boyfriend its becoming difficult just wondering what peoples opinions are or rather if they have experience of this and what did you do about it?

WesternNight

Have they said why they don't like him? Is it him they don't like or the fact that you're not as available to spend time with them anymore? Is he a new boyfriend or are they new friends etc etc?

It's hard to give advice without knowing any of the above.

Astrogeek

Well why don't your friends like your boyfriend?

LegacyUser

Had an experience where I didn't like my best friends boyfriend for years because he didn't make any effort with me or anyone else and was ignorant in general. It was very difficult because I would try but just got nothing from him which was sad to see my friend with someone like that. However, he treated her well which was the most important thing and I just had to get on with it. If I had a chance to get to know him better it would have helped.

Maybe you should include him more and let your friends know how happy you are with him. Make a point of telling them stories of nice things he does for you - they might not be able to see the side you see in him unless you tell them or they see it for themselves.

If all else fails they are the ones who need to accept your choice. Also I'm not sure how old you are but the older you get the more accepting people become.

IndigoStarr

I had an experience where my best friend's boyfriend went out of his way to be unpleasant to me. Called me slut, whore, etc and was just generally rude and dismissive.
The worst part was that she stuck up for him, agreed with him and not once told him that his behaviour was inappropriate. We aren't friends anymore, which is sad, but she wasn't being a friend to me.

I think that you need to assess whether you think what he is doing is out of order or not. He is not in a position to criticise your friends or be rude to them. If he is doing this, you need to tell him that his behaviour is out of order.
But if you feel that they are being unfair on you and/or him, maybe sit down and tell them that you're having a hard time coping with the situation and that you'd like them to try again and let bygones be bygones, for your sake.

Loopsie

my friends and my boyfriend DETEST each other (bar one or two)
the reason for them hating him.....we have had our relationship issues which i have cried to my friends about.......dont blame them but dont agree either
the reason he hates them......they would be a fairly lively crew who would party hard most weekends and a few of them would take full advantage of being single and available if you get my drift and he basically thinks they are lairy and have no class and doesnt like me being associated with that!!!
Dont get me wrong its never been a case of them or him (except for one girl) but it does make things a little awkward but we are together over two years and im happy out

dublingal80

my friends and family HATED my ex boyfriend. I knew and understood all their issues with them but i still loved him. Eventually I saw the light and we broke up
now i have a boyfriend that my family and friends ADORE! way better!

LegacyUser

Hi,

just reading your post reminds me of a situation I have had before..
I know someone who has been seeing a guy on and off for years,
he treated her like complete crap, was with other girls and has done stuff that I will not even be repeating cause to be honest if I did you would not believe it.. I sometimes don't...

Anyway.... she has recently got back together with him... Now.. I don't hate this guy.. I simply cannot watch her get hurt again..

I think after years of watching the mental torment it is fair enough if friends do not want to witness it again..

With regards to your question, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself WHY your friends hate your boyfriend....????????????????????????????

LegacyUser

the reason friends and boyfriends "hate" eachother i normally the fault of the middle man. people when crying to there mates leave out parts of the info too make it look like his/hers fault your mates only want you to be happy but if they only know the bad stuff how can you blame them for hating him/her and if your partner hates your mates it prob because they want you to break up with him or her because of what you have told them about him or her if your not honest with both parties can you blame them for not getting on but at the end of the day your mates are always there weather you think it or not.

LegacyUser

Are you really happy with your relationship ? Does not sound like it... You should never have to choose over friends if you are really happy in a relationship... My boyfriend doesnt like all my friends but never says anything nasty about them... people have differences but doesnt mean there has to be constant childish fights... seriously how old are you, grow up ! !

LegacyUser

Guest 5 do you not think 'choosing not to watch her get hurt again' is actually not pushing her more towards him?
How good friends were you?
Ive also been in this situation and had a very close friend of mine mistreated repeatedly by a guy and he was an A&&hole to everyone she cared about, but as repetitive as it was we stuck by her every time he hurt her and EVENTUALLY she saw the light....took years no less.

Not to get off topic i think if your friends dont like your boyfriend fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion, sometimes they are valid sometimes not. Try and find a happy medium but dont lose friends because of it

LegacyUser

I think this post has gone a little off topic, particularly since the OP hasn’t come back to respond to any questions asked about her first post.
However in reply to your question, I suppose we all have different “points of no return” so to speak, how many times can you watch someone have their heart broken and cry and then watch them put themselves back into that same situation? Mine may be different to yours Giddy Goose, doesn’t make us any better or worse of a friend.

LegacyUser

If they dont like him u ask them why and then work from there.

I have been in relationships where i didnt get on my ex s friends it can be hard but really depends on the reasons and why u or they dont like the person.

LegacyUser

its simple folks if your boyfriend is cheating on you and your friends tell you to dump him do it if they just dont like him and they cant tell you why they will just have to like it or lump it
if he does not like them he should care about you enough to make an effort if he cant do that dump him


remember you will never die alone as long as you have good friends

you may die bitter and twisted though lol