insecure about lack of words from BF

LegacyUser

hi. i'm with my BF for 6 months. we get on very well. i love him to bits and he tells me he loves me too (sometimes). i just wish he said more about how he feels about me and it makes me feel sad that he doesn't. i say how i feel all the time and usually he'll agree with what i say but he rarely shares his feelings with me. he used to tell me he loved me more in the beginning, now it's once in a while but i say it nearly always. is it that he doesn't feel it's necessary or it just is not his way? he never gets emotional about things - he's a very level mood type of guy. in a way, i hope he's happy with me, cos if he wasn't, i wonder would he say anything as he never has issue with anything i do. i had a "check-in" last week about "us" and are we going ok etc and he said yes. however, i still crave him saying more to me, is that unreasonable? we're both 36. are there many men out there who just don't like expressing their emotions and i should just accept the actions and not expect so many words? it gets to me and i then wonder how he really feels. am i just looking for problems?

we've just been on holidays for a week. he told me he loved me once. today, i was the one to bring up how great a week it was and how i loved having extra time with him etc. he just agreed with me but he never said anything about it himself until i did. i guess now that he's just left (he lives a few hours away) i'm feeling a bit more sensitive cos i'm lonely that he's gone and have the blues that our week is over.

i hope it's not ambivalence on his part, and that the reason he doesn't say much is that he doesn't really feel what i want him to tell me he does.

dudara

Some people don't say a whole lot, but it's there to be seen in their actions.

Does he make you feel loved, does he treat you well?

Liam Byrne

dudara wrote: »

Some people don't say a whole lot, but it's there to be seen in their actions.

Does he make you feel loved, does he treat you well?

+1 (and then some)

OP, would you prefer if he said it more often but didn't back it up with his actions ?

I know girls who would freak if their other-half didn't get them presents, or spoil them, or whatever, all the time; neither the words nor the shallow stuff matter, as long as they make you feel good about yourself and happy that you're together.

Occasional spoiling, occasional saying it, but regularly showing it.....that's the key thing....

LegacyUser

It's not the quantity of it, but the quality. If you believe him when he does say it, and you feel loved, then it doesn't really matter, does it? Would you rather he said it 15 times and day and know he doesn't mean it or is only saying it to make you happy? Some guys are just like that, not big on sharing their emotions. It's the difference between (most) men and women, something I've learned the hard way!

Snukums

op maybe the reason he doesn't say it more often is that you bring it up yourself all the time. Try instead of saying it yourself when you would normally stop yourself and see if he tells you he loves you.

LegacyUser

Snukums wrote: »

op maybe the reason he doesn't say it more often is that you bring it up yourself all the time. Try instead of saying it yourself when you would normally stop yourself and see if he tells you he loves you.

have tried that. i just can't go a couple of nites without saying it cos it's how i feel and cos i want to hear it from him even tho it's much nicer when he says it first and it's not just "love you too". maybe i'm afraid of leaving it too long to not hear it but i'll try it again and see what happens.

same goes for the other stuff. i always bring up how i might feel about things and the best i get is to agree with what i said but i would LOVE him to say the odd thing spontaneously as it would make me feel more special.

maybe that's daft....