The smoke...Is it worth giving it up....

LegacyUser

I am looking for experiences from people who have been in the same position. I am a long term smoker of hash/weed/pollen/skunk. Basically if its got THC in it I'm smoking it. I have been smoking on and off for over 22 years now since I was in my late teens.

I have been able to give it up here and there. Once I smoked nothing at all for a year. Then other blocks of 3 months etc so it hasn't been every single day. Recently nowadays I can go a week/10 days without it and I do have more energy but after the initial novelty wears off and I look at life with un-stoned eyes I just think oh so what, whats the point and smoke again.

I used to hear people saying it takes your motivation but I didn't care because as long as I had enough money to pay the morgage, keep the car going and sustain a relationship I didn't/don't care.

Im not ambitious for 'stuff' and I don't care what people think of me as long as I don't bring shame on my family. As I am getting older its hard to get up in the mornings with the weed getting stronger.

I am middle aged, I need to start giving it up but I don't want to. I just find life such a struggle for very little pleasure or reward. People my age have reared families/gone to college at night/got mad into their careers/achieved stuff and thats all great but there is no way I would be bothered making that effort any more. I broke my b0ll0x as a young one getting a house with an ex and trying to live a 'decent' average life but but he was abusive pr1ck and it took me years to get away from him, after that I never hitched my wagon to a man again that I couldn't quickly get away from. Burned.

I feel as if everything is life is a scam. That we are all irrelevant mice on a wheel. I don't do anything to just please the neighbours or impress my supposed 'peers' because I have no interest.

To tell the honest truth when I look back at life I regret all the dutiful 'good' things I tried to do. Its as if every good seed I tried to sow fell on stony soil and now I have no interest in trying.

Real life is such a p1le of sh1te ...I have no opinions and I don't care about anything. How can I change?

LegacyUser

Hi.

I can understand your problem about giving it up for a few days,and then being like oh well,and smoking again.
Best of not beating yourself up over this.I dont think cannabis is bad,if you use it respectively.I mean,its illegal for (mostly) stupid reasons,but i wont turn it into one of those debates.

Your question should not be is it worth giving up.Its worth nothing but negativity unless you enjoy it,but if it is becoming the main focus of your life maybe it would be a good idea to kick it.22 years is a long time,but sure people drink for way longer than that and you dont see them worrying(and maybe they should)

If its getting you down,try an activity or something to keep you busy.And much respect for not trying to keep with the jones's.Who are they anyway?

Monkey61

I can't really comment on your lack of joy in life and apparent depression - although I am willing to bet that an awful lot of it is linked to your smoking. But I will give a specific opinion on that.

My mother is in a similar position. She has been smoking on an almost daily basis for the last 30 odd years. Not all day or anything, just in the evenings. And while she does go through periods of stopping, she inevitably starts again because she really likes it, she's not in a relationship anymore or a career she enjoys so has little else that she is really into. On the one hand, why not? She enjoys it. It gives her something to look forward to of an evening. Grand.

But on the other hand, from an outside perspective, it has caused all kinds of damage. Her personality has completely changed over the last two decades. She doesn't seem as clever anymore. She is quite boring to talk to - constantly repeats herself, has absolutely no short term memory to speak of and has very little interest in life in general. I don't think I have had a conversation with her that has lasted more than ten minutes in the last ten years.

She is pushing 60, kids are almost grown up, and at least she has done an awful lot of living. She has been around the world, seen everything, done everything and experienced everything that life can hold. But you are still quite young OP and have a lot of life ahead of you. For that reason I would encourage you to think about stopping and think about what you could replace it with to make yourself happier.

Why don't you set yourself a goal of giving up, say for a year. That way you don't have to panic about never doing it again. Just give it a year. Let your mind clear for a few weeks and then think about what you could do with a year. Read books, watch films, go on holidays. Anything. Maybe think about getting some counselling as well, just to help you understand your mind better once you aren't smoking all the time. Who knows what you might discover?

kjl

Pretty much the same boat here, I smoke a lot, at least one joint everyday.

It gets to the point where any free time I get I smoke. I like you have no problem giving it up, but I just get soooooo bored. It's like every conversation I have with people feels irrelevant.

I find I'm a much happier person when I'm smoking, as for killing ambision, I don't think that's true, I recently went back to college and came first in my year, and I smoked everyday.

I also mix smoking weed in with a healthy lifestyle, I eat right, I work out and I don't drink. Anyone who tells you smoking cannabis is bad, when at the same time they binge drink on the weekend is both an idiot and a hypocrite.

I say knock yourself out, if you don't want to quit, don't bother, but always try to do something with you life, and don't just sit doing nothing, go for walks.

PS OP, I would love to meet a girl like you.

kjl

Monkey61 wrote: »

She doesn't seem as clever anymore. She is quite boring to talk to - constantly repeats herself, has absolutely no short term memory to speak of and has very little interest in life in general.

There is no link to any of that and smoking cannabis, these are charateristics in your mother, not a pot smoker.

She doesn't seem as clever, it that perhaps because you have gotten older?

Cabbage Brained

kjl wrote: »

There is no link to any of that and smoking cannabis, these are charateristics in your mother, not a pot smoker.

She doesn't seem as clever, it that perhaps because you have gotten older?

Source? I was of the opinion that there is a pretty strong link.

OP, I think you're caught in a bit of a vicious circle where the smoke is making you feel a bit down and depressed about everything, so you turn to it to block it all out. THC is fat soluble, so it will take longer than a week/ ten days for the low feeling that it is giving you to go away. Try your hardest to give it up for longer and I promise you'll notice the difference. I used to smoke every day for about 3 years, and honestly when I look back on how crazy my thoughts were during that period as a result of the smoke, I really can't believe it. Giving it up was the best thing I ever did.

LegacyUser

Firstly - your pessimistic view on life won't help
secondly - people who smoke 20+ cigarettes & binge drink are doing more harm to themselves - this is proven by cancer, alcoholism etc..

U lack ambition, not ambition thats influence by others but stuff that you want to do, for example backpack south america or the likes (u dont have to go extreme but seek happiness for yourself & u shall find).

Im late twenties, lived abroad, had to return for various reasons. Stuck in a rut at the current time. Havent smoked much in last 6 months but where i lived & in my nature of work it was smoke smoke smoke....it was part of a lifestyle, & a good one with that. But back here, in teh midst of many factors, i have tried to stay off teh smoke as everything will get you down if you let it.

Settle for something u know u can do / get better & u shall fail....

Maybe give the smoke a break for 6 months, forget about it for awhile, see how your mind & body changes & after the six months, the choice will be yours.....

Peace out fellow shhmokie

kjl

Cabbage Brained wrote: »

Source? I was of the opinion that there is a pretty strong link.

OP, I think you're caught in a bit of a vicious circle where the smoke is making you feel a bit down and depressed about everything, so you turn to it to block it all out. THC is fat soluble, so it will take longer than a week/ ten days for the low feeling that it is giving you to go away. Try your hardest to give it up for longer and I promise you'll notice the difference. I used to smoke every day for about 3 years, and honestly when I look back on how crazy my thoughts were during that period as a result of the smoke, I really can't believe it. Giving it up was the best thing I ever did.

unless she is physically on cannabis when she it talking to you, the no, there are no adverse effects, have you not been reading the news recently?

cafecolour

It sounds like you're depressed and you're self-medicating with weed. You were also hurt by ex and have since built up an emotional wall that weed helps with.

I love weed, but as sporadic recreational enjoyment, not to consistently dull the pain. The smoking or not smoking seems to be immaterial compared to the deeper reasons for it. It's like you've been on Prozac for years without addressing the reason you got on it in the first place.

Go to therapy. Shop around for a good therapist. The first of a bad therapist - they'll try and immediately blame everything on smoking instead of the underlying issues.

Once you make progress, I'd hope smoking can become a treat again rather than a crutch, and you can then reasses you desire for it.

Overheal

When I smoked hash I got the wise eyed notion to write. Notes, scribbles, anything. Anything I wrote was then stashed away until I had long forgotten its original purpose. Upon re-reading the material sober I had almost absolutely no idea wtf I was talking about. And these disturbing sketches and journal entries I thought were enough to warrant quitting. In comparison to a note I had written sober 10 years ago, which I could usually dechiper what it meant pretty easilly.

what you soon realize is that thinking High and thinking Straight are two diametrically different things.

You should go see a GP and get referred to a Counselor or Psychiatrist of some description. You want to look at the world in a new way: theres your chance. I absolutely think it to be worth it. The difference is night and day. But its not going to happen over night, especially not when you have been smoking as long as you have. You know yourself its not that hard to get off. The only thing hard about it is staying off. Thats where professional help is going to come in, through CBT or some other method best prescribed for your situation. Its easy to slip back into old habits especially during bad periods in life. Learn how to resist that impulse and you'll never want nor need the stuff ever again.

Monkey61

kjl wrote: »

There is no link to any of that and smoking cannabis, these are charateristics in your mother, not a pot smoker.

She doesn't seem as clever, it that perhaps because you have gotten older?

Well that is debatable. Several studies I have read (none of which I have links for as I don't think this is the time or place for the debate) have suggested those very things. Also if considering David Nutt's dangerous drugs list, on which cannabis is 11th, it might not be the best idea to encourage daily use. Saying blindly that there are no adverse effects is naive at best.

Everybody is different though and long term drug use is never definitely going to have the same effect on everybody. I think the best thing to do is to look at whether it is affecting you in a negative way - which in the case of the OP it clearly is and plan your life accordingly.

LegacyUser

As another poster said, i think you are self medicating. I've done it for long enough. Up to approx 7 months ago I was a regular heavy smoker. Smoked every day for about 18 yrs. I had my reasons and it was also part of the social circles I moved in.
I was and still am a cannabis advocate. Booze and fags are much worse but they are the legal drugs we can use as crutches or means to alter our perceptions.
Over the last 12 months I started to recognise that I had moved from being a drug user to a drug abuser. It was no longer fun, it was just something I did. I had a career and worked for myself on the side. But I hated myself and my life. Despite promotions and payrises I still hated my job and indulged my self destructive streak by letting it all go to hell. Used to get up in morning, hit the bong or pipe straight away then breakfast, then jump on my motorbike and drop the hammer. When I got to work I would have another blast and could not wait to get home to get really ****d up. I smoked the way other people breathe!
Some 2 years ago I had a breakdown of sorts, well I just went to pieces tbh. I could no longer hide how bad my life had become. My wife and I could not agree on anything. Home was hell and work just sucked.
I went down the antidepressant/counselling route. Due to bad timing counselling didn't help me. During this time I stopped smoking so heavily but it was still an occasional thing. The so called professionals conveniently blamed everything on the weed. Whilst I knew it was causing me problems, it was for me a symptom rather than a causal factor.
In many ways I was worse of the weed than on it. The problems that I used to avoid were now inescapable. Like you OP everything was so pointless, life was like a hamster on a wheel.
So marriage broke up and job went to hell.
I have been trying to put myself back together, its not easy. I am supposedly weed free for 9 months now. I have fell off the wagon a few times but I still try to get back on it. Everyone I know tells me of the huge change in me and that I'm much better. I could say that I don't feel that much better, but being the glass half empty guy that I am I have to factor that in. No its not easy but I going to keep trying. I may well end up smoking again but I never will want it as a crutch again. When I realised I had a tobacco addiction I quit that, when I was younger and drank too much I quit that for 15 yrs. I do drink very moderately now because I think I have some self awareness.
Ask yourself what do you want, be brutally honest. We all have goals or aspirations of some sort. F**k your neigbours/peers its not about them, it about you. If you had the courage of sorts to break the law and go outside of societal norms by being a pothead, you can also turn your own ship around. You got one life, use it. Good luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. Plenty to think about for me there.

If you had the courage of sorts to break the law and go outside of societal norms by being a pothead, you can also turn your own ship around. You got one life, use it. Good luck

That's it though. Maybe in some ways my style of going my own sweet way doesn't do me any good. I am an outsider looking in at 'decent' people most the time. I see what they have and I think thats dandy, they worked hard for it and its good to have but I dont like to be committed into long term things. It seems to be a personal policy of some sort but I dont know why or if I ever did know. I don't care whatsoever about societal norms/the law/conventions at all. I was always that way even since a small kid. Didn't want to fit in with everyone else. Wouldn't let my mother mould me, kicked and screamed against it.

I do want to use my life and I realise I've been letting it dribble away from me. I had a couple of talents in my youth that I never pursued as just surviving daily I felt was like firefighting. I could never understand how people had the energy and peace of mind to excel at their talents. I always had some parasite hanging off me that I could never seem to scrape off. I am so defensive of my space and spare time now. But when I get it I just skin up and end up worrying about stuff. Self sabotage. Afraid to be in the game?

My mother is in a similar position. She has been smoking on an almost daily basis for the last 30 odd years. Not all day or anything, just in the evenings. And while she does go through periods of stopping, she inevitably starts again because she really likes it, she's not in a relationship anymore or a career she enjoys so has little else that she is really into. On the one hand, why not? She enjoys it. It gives her something to look forward to of an evening. Grand.

But on the other hand, from an outside perspective, it has caused all kinds of damage. Her personality has completely changed over the last two decades. She doesn't seem as clever anymore. She is quite boring to talk to - constantly repeats herself, has absolutely no short term memory to speak of and has very little interest in life in general. I don't think I have had a conversation with her that has lasted more than ten minutes in the last ten years

Well, thats me all over. My short term memory is gone. Three drinks and I am in a blackout straight away so going out is a write off so I don't bother. I have nothing to say for myself any more. I was considered intelligent when I was younger but definitely lost a few smarts since then. Funny I always used to be able to argue passionately that weed didn't take your motivation/intelligence etc but Im singing a different tune these days.

I took up guitar a few years ago and I found it so easy. But I never practiced so I soon couldn't get by on just being quick on the uptake any more. I was always stoned and although it was easy, it was hard to bother with it if that makes sense. I never bothered going back. I realised the other day I have no interest in books or movies any more. I go into a bookshop and look around and nothing there interests me so I walk back out again. I mean I used to read books in a day or two before. Always had one on the go. As for movies they just go in one ear and out the other.

I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Other than smoking I have a healthy lifestlye and dont drink much any more. I have been to a psychiatrist in the past due to other addiction problems but he said I was mentally fine, depressed was a given but no 'inherent' mental health issues. Any problems I was having back then were 'lifestyle related' (perscription drugs/booze/coke etc) But my lifestyle is good now. But I dont know if I can live without the spliff at the end of the day.

I know my outlook is bleak and depression has always been a problem but I am not a candidate for antidepressants. Counselling. They will want to rake up irrelevant stuff from the past that can't be solved or changed so Im not going to feel better about any of it.

I don't know what answer I am looking for...

LegacyUser

Does it matter wrote: »

But I dont know if I can live without the spliff at the end of the day.
QUOTE]

You can argue wether booze, cigs, etc are more harmful than weed til the cows come home 'people get violent on booze, they dont on weed etc', but if you ever have to ask yourself the above question about any chemical substance, then you are dependant on it and an addict, and you need to get the **** off it tbh.

LegacyUser

Firstly as you've said yourself this was your lifestyle choice and you've no ambition and no interest or opinions on stuff. More power to you if this is how you want to live your life and are happy to do so. But do you really have to come on hear and rain all over everyones parade who has tried to succeed in life, stayed sober etc. I find your post very patronising.

LegacyUser

I'm a grown up (35) and a (hopefully former) long term pot smoker.

As everyone is saying, it doesn't matter whether drink is more damaging. Pot is damaging too. Yeah, ok, not in a major way; you don't go out with a bang, you go out with a whimper.

I'm a south african, where we have a big pot culture, as I'm sure you know, and I'm always shocked by nice cool women who I think are 70, based on looks and mental agility... who turn out to be just 55 or less.

You think you have escaped the traps of 'society' yet you fall into another trap: 'pot smoker society'. Same same and not that different but more up its own hole, because 'society' as you imagine it is too busy living its own life to set itself up in opposition to you.

I don't mean to sound harsh... I could probably write this post to myself... what I mean is, what you think is 'society' or the 'neighbours and what they think' means nothing... nobody cares about your pot habit or your achievement or lack of because they are too busy living their own lives. Your only responsibility is to yourself. Success is on your terms. For me, being stoned all the time was nothing; just a way to suppress myself... and I like to think I'm too good to be suppressed all the time.

Reality only sucks for a few days. Then you adjust to it and its as good as any drug induced (fake) reality. But at least its the one you're born with.

Give yourself a break. There is no point hating society: society is just people doing their own thing. Try sobriety, you only have one life to live and its your business, not anyone else's, so you have a duty to yourself to make the best of it. Be brave and face it sober. Its better than being stoned, but harder.

waitinforatrain

I'm going to throw this out there as my own experience, I'm not stating it as fact.

A few months ago, I stopped smoking with tobacco and started using a vaporiser.

Smoking with tobacco made me feel lethargic when high, and a bit hazy the day after too.

With the vaporiser I get more of an introspective mild trip, it kind of activates my mind rather than turning it off, I spend my time writing, talking and playing music instead of watching TV and I don't feel bad the next day.

It's something to consider anyway, a number of my friends have switched too and we all agree on the dramatic change (for your lungs too).



Cannabis can have negative effects on your life, and if you want to stop for a while I guess the only way is to dissociate from smokers around you. I'm sure your friends will be supportive.

It's clear that you have problems that aren't weed-related though. Many people know that feeling of being a cog-in-the-machine and need to run away from it, but have a proper go at "living in the moment" and appreciating the mad endless play of life, in which you make your own point and meaning, and see if you can find your spot.

Good luck

rubensni

Exercise is damn good if you're stuck in a rut. I go through phases of being on smoke, then finding i'm hitting it too hard and needing six cups of coffee to function in the morning, not being able to remember stuff at work and just seeing life as **** when i'm sober, and getting a little buzzed when i had a chance just seemed like the normal way of doing things.

I started running about two years ago when I saw a study that exercise was as effective, if not more so than SSRIs (the prozacs, etc) in treating depression, and my logic was it has to be good for people who aren't depressed also, right? as, when you think about it, we were designed to chase after things to eat or run away from things in the middle of africa. How we ended up on a rainy island on the west coast of europe, spending our days staring at screens (TVs, computers, etc) is another matter, but we haven't changed that much as a species.

i started with a 15 minute run/walk and built up from there. I got up to about a 40 min run/20 min walk session until i did in my hamstring, and then went off it again. off/on, etc. But while i was doing it i kind of discovered my body, so to speak. If i had those pints/smoked too much i noticed the extra strain the next day, and that made me want to control my intake that evening. I found i had a little more energy over time, and was sleeping better, etc.

The key thing is to remember you're doing it for yourself, not for anyone else and although it's not easy, especially at the start, it really does make a difference. I wouldn't bother joining a gym (too many health fascists, etc and they're a total rip off) the streets are perfect once you've got a good set of headphones, some good tunes and a good pair of runners. and don't be embarrassed if you're stooped over, out of breath, or a bit heavy round the midriff. we all have to start somewhere.

LegacyUser

Does it matter wrote: »

Im not ambitious for 'stuff' and I don't care what people think of me as long as I don't bring shame on my family. As I am getting older its hard to get up in the mornings with the weed getting stronger.

classic signs of cannabis use

I am middle aged, I need to start giving it up but I don't want to. I just find life such a struggle for very little pleasure or reward. People my age have reared families/gone to college at night/got mad into their careers/achieved stuff and thats all great but there is no way I would be bothered making that effort any more. I broke my b0ll0x as a young one getting a house with an ex and trying to live a 'decent' average life but but he was abusive pr1ck and it took me years to get away from him, after that I never hitched my wagon to a man again that I couldn't quickly get away from. Burned.

I feel as if everything is life is a scam. That we are all irrelevant mice on a wheel. I don't do anything to just please the neighbours or impress my supposed 'peers' because I have no interest.

To tell the honest truth when I look back at life I regret all the dutiful 'good' things I tried to do. Its as if every good seed I tried to sow fell on stony soil and now I have no interest in trying.

Real life is such a p1le of sh1te ...I have no opinions and I don't care about anything. How can I change?

stop smoking dope, what you describe is result ofcannabis

ddef

I'm in 6th year of school. One of my good friends has been smoking weed and that legal shìt for 2 years.
The change in his prsonality has been dramatic. He used to be the life of any party we would go to, but now he says his "hi, how are ya", then fùcks off to the end of the garden to hit a bong. Even before school he is doing this shît, and were in our leaving cert year.
It's sad seeing how he has become. I can still see that under the drugs, he's the same funny, happy, nice person he was before he started it. I want my best friend back.

Give that shít up. It's a waste of money, time and life.

magneticimpulse

I had an ex who smoked for over 15 years. The relationship ended because of his addiction.

I would call to his house on a sunny day to go out and do something. He would get very angry and aggressive (even thou he was high) and say how dare i call around. He would prefer to stay inside and play silly computer games and get wasted. He was 32!!!

I went to parties with people from my company, and he would start smoking a joint in front of my manager.

He really had no motivation and there was no way I could ever have a family with him. If you are the person who is not smoking cannabis around a person who is, you definitely see the effects it has on them. They are very paranoid, very edgy and ready to explode at any minute. Yeah this seem contrary to what its meant to do. But from the outsider, its exactly what its like. The only people who were enjoying the party were his other mates stoned out of their head. None of them got girlfriends and they continue to this day on, 5 years later to do the same boring crap, play computer games and get high alone!

Really i would never advice anyone to take it. Ok an odd time at a party. But everyday it is an addiction just like alcohol! And comes with the same social problems as alcohol. I heard all the crap from him about why its acceptable, but im not sorry since the day I left him.

zootie

give it up give it up give it up, u r life will never get better if you are stoned more often thatn not, do u want to be 80 still wondering what to do with your life, u need to look at why u smoke and what u r covering up with it, loads of people get away for ****ty ex s , it can be really hard to make a life for yourself but keep going things get better

RossFixxxed

If it is having that much effect on your life I would give it up. If you've given up on things you know in your heart you should follow up on that's bad. If you are getting more edgy, anxious etc then definitely stop. I'm suffering from anxiety at the moment and it CAN make it 10000 times worse (not in my experience but I've seen it MANY MANY times in people I know) There's no real withdrawls physically but the habbit gets so ingrained. Frankly I'd take withdrawls over withdrawing from the world and my life. I'd find something you want to do and get doing it. Learn an instrument, take up exercise, whatever it is. You'll find motivation in doing things.

I'm actually the opposite in a way. I end up in so much physical pain (nerve damage) some days the only non addictive thing I've found that really helps is having a couple. It's by no means Ideal, but having a calm day or having a day where I'm nearly on my knees crying.... Not much of a trade off. I can't find the stuff ANYWHERE so that limits my useage. Maybe you should extract yourself from people who smoke/sell it and you might be able to get away easier. It becomes a lifestyle and if people around you are into it it can really start to become the same as lighting up a ciggie. Obviously I don't mean abandon your friends. But tell whoever it is that you are laying off. Give it a while you might be very pleasently surprised with the abundance of energy you have, and the concentration improvement. If your dealer is just a dealer (and not a mate) just delete the number and leave it.