Start a religion

espinolman

In 1938 George Orwell wrote " But i have always thought there might be a lot of cash in starting a new religion "

and i think this would be a good idea , at this time because of the recession , to start a religion here in Ireland and sell it to the world .

and then there is the religion of global warming , the bankers are going to make billions and trillions out of that religion from carbon taxes , so look why should everyone else not start a religion !

I was considering calling this new religion , the Quantumlogic religion and i am looking for suggestions as to what the beliefs and practices should be .

bluto63

We have enough trouble with the religions we have now, we don't need another

Sea Sharp

100 virgin wives if you join up.

Also we have 17 gods.

espinolman

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

100 virgin wives if you join up.

Also we have 17 gods.

It is a good idea but where would we get the virgin wives from ?

I have a colourful stone out in the garden that i thought could be god , we could take photos of it and sell them for 30 euros each .

But i'm sure we could some up with 17 stones .

Jesus Wept

I was born a Snake Handler, and I'll die a Snake Handler

espinolman

bluto63 wrote: »

We have enough trouble with the religions we have now, we don't need another

We do need more , competition is good , there is a huge market for religion , what do people want from religion , well they want to blame all their problems and all the problems in the world on someone else , well in this new religion called the Quantumlogic religion there are 17 gods they can blame everything on , and they are not even been taxed for it like in the global warming religion where they blame co2 and then introduce carbon taxes , but in the Quantumlogic religion all donations are voluntary .

bnt

Hey, there's always Dermotology - a religion just begging for a dose of Blasphemy. :pac:

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.
-- L. Ron Hubbard, 1948

espinolman

bnt wrote: »

Hey, there's always Dermotology - a religion just begging for a dose of Blasphemy. :pac:

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.
-- L. Ron Hubbard, 1948

Exactly thats what i am doing here , starting a religion , make money and help people at the same time , its the right thing to do .;)

BroomBurner

You're going about it all wrong! You're not meant to be asking people for ideas, you're meant to be preaching about how your god has described to you in detail, through spiritual visits, what the afterlife is like and how we should all live in order to have good times when we die.

dlofnep

Scientology got there about 30 years before you. Sorry. You need a new niche market.

Duggy747

Boardsology



I like the cut of that jib.

phasers

How about Oprahism, or Voodoo?

espinolman

BroomBurner wrote: »

You're going about it all wrong! You're not meant to be asking people for ideas, you're meant to be preaching about how your god has described to you in detail, through spiritual visits, what the afterlife is like and how we should all live in order to have good times when we die.

But don't you realize the 17 true gods of the Quantumlogic religion speak through the posters on this forum , and they spoke through the poster GaNjaHaN already and they are speaking through me as well .

tim0ney

espinolman wrote: »

But don't you realize the 17 true gods of the Quantumlogic religion speak through the posters on this forum , and they spoke through the poster GaNjaHaN already and they are speaking through me as well .

I know what you're speaking through.....

dny123456

Best thing, would be, not to create a new religion, but subvert an existing one. If you already have 95% of a countries population believing in imaginary figures, all you really need to do, is convince the people, that you somehow have special access to those imaginary figures. Maybe through visions, or dreams?

Lot easier than convincing them of the existence of a new set of imaginary figures.

Biggins

How about "The Jedward Faith" ?

The idea that both boys sit on the right and left handside of the one true media god - Simon Cowel!

espinolman

dny123456 wrote: »

Lot easier than convincing them of the existence of a new set of imaginary figures.

Imaginary gods are real because they are imaginary , if they were not imaginary they would not be real , Quantumlogic is the one true religion .;)

bluto63

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

100 virgin wives if you join up.

'Who wants virgins? Give me two Glasgow sluts any day of the week!'

minidazzler

bluto63 wrote: »

'Who wants virgins? Give me two Glasgow sluts any day of the week!'

+1

You have to convince virgins they are the only one for you and that you love them.

You have to buy a slapper a kebab.

Sorted.

Sea Sharp

espinolman wrote: »

But don't you realize the 17 true gods of the Quantumlogic religion speak through the posters on this forum , and they spoke through the poster GaNjaHaN already and they are speaking through me as well .

They're arguing with each other and it's giving me a headache.


I'm not the messiah, I'm a very naughty boy!!

jif

Duggy747 wrote: »

Boardsology.

Bolloxology nicer ring to it

espinolman

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

They're arguing with each other and it's giving me a headache.


I'm not the messiah, I'm a very naughty boy!!

You think i'm being serious in this thread , well then i have succeded , see how easy it is to start a religion , if i really wanted to i could start a religion and make money from it , but i'm not really into that .

Joey the lips

They always say you should never discuss religion and politics. It seems boards has a habit of only discussing religion and politics.

There is a relgion for everything already its just no one understands religion to realise this or they have already discovered it.

espinolman

Joey the lips wrote: »

They always say you should never discuss religion and politics. It seems boards has a habit of only discussing religion and politics.

Global warming is a religion , and most people have been brainwashed into this cult by the mass media , it is political and religious .

Stargate

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

100 virgin wives if you join up.

Also we have 17 gods.

If its 100 virgin wives , im in where do i sign up !!!

chughes

Funnily enough I was thinking of this very idea myself. My religion will be called the Church of the Even Latter Day than the Latter Day Saints.
All you have to do is pay an annual subscription of €1000 and I will guarantee you a place in heaven. You don't have to do anything else and you can live the lifestyle you want and the guarantee is in place as long as the subscription is paid.
PTL(ptl) PRAISE THE LORD(pass the loot).......

pickarooney

Stargate wrote: »

If its 100 virgin wives , im in where do i sign up !!!

Isn't that a bit like playing golf with 100 people who have never held a club?

spoofilyj

Feck your 100 inexperienced virgin wives.

Give me one Sexy slut who knows what she's doing, any day of the week over 100 amatures!:D

Stargate

pickarooney wrote: »

Isn't that a bit like playing golf with 100 people who have never held a club?

Haha

i could devout a serious amount of time trying to teach them how to play golf , maybe if you joined too you could help improve your swing ,
( no pun intended );)

Stargate

spoofilyj wrote: »

Feck your 100 inexperienced virgin wives.

Give me one Sexy slut who knows what she's doing, any day of the week over 100 amatures!

we talking bout golf again

Sea Sharp

Hmm, interesting feedback from the potential market.

The voices are now telling me that it's one Glasgo slut per 100 members. (Her name is 'Not-so Virgin Mary'.)
Also, unlimited free passwords to porn sites.

GavRedKing

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

Also, unlimited free passwords to porn sites.

Thats it, Im in, where do I sign up?? Praise be to 17 gods.

Sea Sharp

money shall be sent to the Sacret Paypal Account.