Do girls look for the same things in guys?

Vampireskiss · 31-10-2009 11:15am #1

What are the fundemental things girls look for in a potential boyfriend?Are they the same for all girls?

Nevyn · 31-10-2009 11:17am

No.

Nervous Wreck · 31-10-2009 11:20am

Thaedydal wrote: »

No.

Aww, you ruined it! Coulda had this guy singing falsetto and playing the banjo trying to impress women everywhere!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfG__vvMM5M

Vampireskiss · 31-10-2009 11:21am

Thaedydal wrote: »

No.

Ok so, for any girl that reads this post and cares to reply. What attributes must a guy have before you would consider going out with him, and what are absolute deal breakers?

FunkZ · 31-10-2009 11:29am

Vampireskiss wrote: »

Ok so, for any girl that reads this post and cares to reply. What attributes must a guy have before you would consider going out with him, and what are absolute deal breakers?

I think she was hinting at something dude. There are no attributes because..!

Snowie · 31-10-2009 11:34am

Vampireskiss wrote: »

Ok so, for any girl that reads this post and cares to reply. What attributes must a guy have before you would consider going out with him, and what are absolute deal breakers?

To be honest, the biggist, deal breaker is personality. Its all well and good being pretty amazing body but if her personality is like a breaze block then there's not really much interest for me.

thatsa spicy · 31-10-2009 11:39am

Vampirekiss, I'm sure that you have certain preferences in girls that maybe your friends don't have and vice versa. I'm sure you agree that boys look for different things in girls eg. some like red hair, some like short girls, big eyes, tall girls, shy girls, outgoing girls..etc

The same above applies for women; they're all different with different preferences. Also, its bloody obvious what is on average preferred by girls eg. tall, not overweight, not neurotic, confident, tanned ( I would imagine)!

Vampireskiss · 31-10-2009 11:43am

What about things like if the guy

Earned less money than the girl

Was working but didnt have a car

Vampireskiss · 31-10-2009 11:49am

What if the guy ticked all the boxes but was shy and not very experienced(as in had few or no past relationships)

Novella · 31-10-2009 11:51am

Would you go out with a girl who earned less than you or who had a job, but not a car?

C'mon now, it's common sense! If you like someone and want to be with them, the fact they can't drive or just don't have a car shouldn't be an influencing factor. If you're ruling someone out because they earn less than you, fine, I'm not gonna say it's shallow, I'm sure it matters to some people, to me though, that just says you don't REALLY want to be with them.

Snowie · 31-10-2009 11:52am

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What about things like if the guy

Earned less money than the girl

Was working but didnt have a car

I wouldnt really care to be honest.

Novella · 31-10-2009 11:52am

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What if the guy ticked all the boxes but was shy and not very experienced(as in had few or no past relationships)

I don't actually have a check-list but there's nothing wrong with a guy who's shy and as for not very experienced, that's no problem at all!

thatsa spicy · 31-10-2009 11:58am

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What about things like if the guy

Earned less money than the girl

Was working but didnt have a car

Well, you see in the enviroment in which our ancestors evolved, females would all have wished to be paired with the highest "value" male they could. This might have meant mating with the attractive, strongest, fastest, most intelligent, most prominent members of the group. Doing this meant that their children were more likely to, themselves, be prominent male/ attractive females, and so the process perpetuates.

Now, in this unnatural world that we live in today, this desire on behalf of females to mate with the best "value" male they can, gets translated into a desire to mate with males who are highest on this social ladder ie. ambitious, have good jobs, not living with their parents, not of a neurotic disposition, independent, attractive etc.

So in answer to your question; yes, most girls would prefer to be with a man who had a car as it is seen as adding "value" the male, in a crude sense. The thing about earning more than the girl..seems a bit of a touchy topic, but I'd imagine girls would on average tend to be attracted to those males who are in a position to earn more than the girl ie. high up the business ladder, very ambitious and so on. If that makes sense!

minidazzler · 31-10-2009 12:18pm

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What if the guy ticked all the boxes but was shy and not very experienced(as in had few or no past relationships)

OP, are you interested in someone and not sure if you wanna go ahead because of some deal-breakers you percieve other people to have???

Wibbs · 31-10-2009 1:16pm

As Thaed said in her succinct(hence anti wibbsian:D) post No.

I would say IMHO that there may be some consistencies as a very general thing.

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What about things like if the guy

Earned less money than the girl

Was working but didnt have a car

Again depends entirely on the woman, but those things there wouldn't even register with most men if it was a woman they were interested in.

What if the guy ticked all the boxes but was shy and not very experienced(as in had few or no past relationships)

Ditto with this one if the roles were reversed. Indeed many men would actually prefer that.

So it depends entirely on the woman. You can't make a call on Women tm, but I would be of the opinion that all things being equal the guy with some experience a few quid and the trappings of that, such as a car will have more success with Women tm overall compared to the guy who doesn't. Especially as a long term bet. depends on age too. A 17 yr old guy without much cash or sans car, is going to have much more leeway than a 35 yr old guy in the same boat.

candy-gal1 · 31-10-2009 1:21pm

handsome face, stubble or beard
good body, not skinny and not too muscly
easy to talk to
sense of humour
sweet and caring side
who "gets you"

thats mine in a nutshell, descibing my OH here anyway lol:D

31-10-2009 1:25pm

I may be very niave.
But I think if you treat women well, with respect.
You'll end up with a good one yourself.

Wibbs · 31-10-2009 2:07pm

I would agree but add that if you treat yourself well and with respect and extend that to others from you, you're on a winner.

pikachucheeks · 31-10-2009 3:14pm

Vampireskiss wrote: »

Ok so, for any girl that reads this post and cares to reply. What attributes must a guy have before you would consider going out with him, and what are absolute deal breakers?

He'd have to be funny, for one. I also like guys who can be honest with me, guys who are kind and caring. Guys who have passions in life. I also like a man who puts in effort with his appearance... Not too much, just enough so he looks well and looks like he takes care of himself.

Deal breakers? Someone who isn't willing to put in effort with my family and friends. Someone who doesn't have manners - manners are extremely important to me. Someone who has no motivation or lust for life. Someone who's into drugs or illegal substances ... Not for me, at all.

Dudess · 31-10-2009 7:07pm

Vampireskiss wrote: »

What about things like if the guy

Earned less money than the girl

Was working but didnt have a car

According to the After Hours mob, a man who's loaded, phenomenally hung and with pornstar-like sexual prowess is what all women want. You have wisely chosen not to seek advice in After Hours though...

OP, it all depends on the individual (incidentally, contrary to popular belief, a lot of women don't like a huge penis).

Personally: if a guy has looks that are nothing special, is of average height, average build - well as long as he's funny, smart, interesting, kind and down-to-earth... one or more of the following is/are a bonus: being good looking, tall, lean/muscular (not "buff").

And I have to say, while I obviously have no time for macho bullsh1t, I've no time for overdoing of the "new man"/"gentlemanly" thing either. Give me a streak of "laddishness" before that any day.

What he's earning/driving/not driving? Couldn't give a hoot - once he's not a layabout.

stovelid · 31-10-2009 7:39pm

Dudess wrote: »

a man who's loaded, phenomenally hung and with pornstar-like sexual prowess

This is no guarantee of true happiness. Take my word for it.

Dudess · 31-10-2009 7:51pm

Aw... And you thought he was the perfect guy for you, Stove...

:pac:

Cadiz · 31-10-2009 8:03pm

thatsa spicy wrote: »

So in answer to your question; yes, most girls would prefer to be with a man who had a car as it is seen as adding "value" the male, in a crude sense. The thing about earning more than the girl..seems a bit of a touchy topic, but I'd imagine girls would on average tend to be attracted to those males who are in a position to earn more than the girl ie. high up the business ladder, very ambitious and so on. If that makes sense!

Baffled by this. Don't know about "most girls" but many women would not give a monkey's about a boyfriend having a car or earning the higher salary to 'add value' to their relationship. I have my own car and I earn my own money.

Would prioritise: personality, good values (that don't include a fixation on cars or money, preferably), humour, looks after himself, good in the scratcher, able carry on a decent conversation.

That kind of thing.

Cadiz · 31-10-2009 8:04pm

stovelid wrote: »

This is no guarantee of true happiness. Take my word for it.

True, but it's fun finding out that for oneself

jenny2hat · 31-10-2009 9:12pm

No way lol.
Everyone has different tastes :rolleyes:

thatsa spicy · 31-10-2009 9:23pm

Cadiz wrote: »

Baffled by this. Don't know about "most girls" but many women would not give a monkey's about a boyfriend having a car or earning the higher salary to 'add value' to their relationship. I have my own car and I earn my own money.

Would prioritise: personality, good values (that doesn't include a fixation on cars or money, preferably), humour, looks after himself, is good in the scratcher, can carry on a decent conversation.

That kind of thing.

Sorry, I admit I didn't articualte myself well in that last post. Basically what I meant was that females are predisposed, as a result of the evolutionary pressures of our ancesters' past, to prefer to mate a male with as a high an evolutionary survival value (of which attractiveness is often a signal) or social standing as possible.

Nowadays, because we don't live in an enviroment whereby the most important trait desired by a female in a male partner is the males ability to keep himself, herself and the kids alive, females seek out other traits in males.

Pure physical attractivness is often one.

Other ones are modern construals of things that were once sought by females in the past eg. a persons wealth and ability to earn nowadays is analagous to our ancestors abilility to feed and protect back in the distant past.

A male with a strong mental charachter (eg. confident in himself, a leader, not necessarily macho btw) is going to be preferably than a neurotic mess!

Modern day ambition is going to be preferable to a lack therof, simply because a lazy "free-rider" wouldn't have been a desirable trait to have had in a male partner back in the distant past.

So, about the car thing. I basically meant that a male who had his own car and could drive is going to be viewed, all other things being equal, in a more positive light by a lot of girls because modern day possession of goods (these days a car being one of the most important goods a person could own) is analagous to stone age ability to provide for yourself and your partner/children.

With regard to the earnings thing; I would opine that males who earn more than their female partners would, by their very nature, tend to be seen, all other things being equal, as more attractive than their lower earning counterparts. I don't mean by this that its the money itself making them more attractive. I just mean that it is likely that a high earning male possesses such traits as ambition, high self-confidence, high ability, high intelligence. Lets face it, in this world where the biggest sole determinant of how well your life will turn out, he's probably physicall attractive also. If this high earning male is compared to his unambitious welfare scrounging counterpart, its likely that the former would be deemed more attractive overall.

hmm..i say all other things being equal alot :P

Do girls look for the same things in guys?

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