always alone

LegacyUser

hey i left school 2 years ago and since then i've been alone. aside from message boards i dont think ive talked to anyone other than my parents and sister on a constant basis.

i spend so much time just reading stupid stuff on internet and i have kinda resigned myself to having a crap life. its tough because its not like im from a small rural place, im from dublin and theres plenty of people my age in the estate but i never clicked with them, i think they liked me growing up but wouldnt view me as friends material. they are friends with my sister who just seems better at making friends than i am. i wonder do my parents know how i feel and do they find it odd that nobody rings/calls/knocks at the door for me.

i really not sure what i can do. i have no medium to meet friends and i went 6 years through school without making a person i really could call a close friend its not that i was withdrawn or weird i was just a run of the mill teenager but obviously theres something about me that people don't feel that i could be a close friend, well except for one but that was because we lived so close that it was kinda hard not be friends.


i know i know, theres little u can do to help me but just some positive words or something.

thanks

kittenkiller

Hi OP,

What about people from the message boards or online gaming?
Could you arrange to meet up with someone that way?

Or even a boards beers?

I think the only way to get out and meet people is to try.
They won't just land on your lap I'm afraid.

Do you work or go to college or anything?

If you don't you should consider finding a job (difficult in the current climate) or volunteer yourself to do some charity work.
You need to get out of the house and get talking to people.

You might never have a relationship with someone that ends up calling to your house, but you might just end up with someone to go out with and enjoy socializing with.
Usually one person has a few friends and you'll end up meeting more people through them.
Give everyone you encounter a fair chance before you decide you don't click or they have no potential to be your friend.

Best of luck OP, get out there!

LegacyUser

I know it's really hard for you but you have to get out there & make an effort.

You dont have to stick to people from your estate for friends. It's the cliche everybody trots out I know, but find something that interests you and get involved in a club or voluntary organisation. There must be such a variety in Dublin that you're bound to find something you like.

What age is your sister? Could you go out with her and her mates once in a while?

You just need to break out of the rut you're currently in and then it will be come easier for you. Do it now please. You're too young to isolate yourself like this. (I'm speaking from experience as I was similar to you)

mjg

OP,

It's become habit for you to not socialise with people and that's as bad a habit as you can develop imo. Are there specific things that you are interested in on the net? There is more than likely a real-world aspect to most of the internet, like a Boards beers as kittenkiller has mentioned.

I've fallen into this habit myself before, and the only thing I can say is that it gets easier the more you get out there, trust me.

You're a little depressed also, I think. Why do you think that people who may have known you when you are younger would not think that you are "friend material"? This is a cycle of thinking that you've fallen into and it's a cycle you need to break. Not a medical opinion btw. Maybe you should consider seeing a GP.

Try to find a group with a common interest to yourself. Living in Dublin that must be possible. When you start meeting these people, don't fall into the trap of thinking that they are analysing your every move, that they are intently discussing the noob, that they are just waiting for you to say or do something embarassing so that they can laugh at you. This is your own head applying a negative spin on the world. Everyone is self-centered to a certain extent and the majority of people have enough to concern themselves with than to spend time microscopically observing those around them.

It's up to you to take the first few steps, and these are always the hardest. It gets easier after that, believe me.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

haven27

I left school early and spent about four years pretty isolated, even through I lived in a city, in an estate with loads of people my age around. I loved the internet, knew a lot of people online and kept myself busy but most of the time I missed having friendships in person.

The way out of it? You have to force yourself to do all the stuff that might not sit well with, in my case I started a course and made myself talk to people and go on nights out and every time I wanted to go back to my safe life at home I had to make myself do it all over again until it stopped being hard.

Once I made new friends, it got easier and more fun. As suggested already, try meet people who are interested in stuff you're interested in.

magneticimpulse

meetup.com and check out the groups in dublin

get out there and join some things. they have different groups for different interests. theres so much happening, your young, dont let life pass you by. make use of the internet to create a social life, not hinder it.

Firetrap

Good advice from all above. You need to get yourself some sort of interest outside the house, even if it's only one night a week. It's way too easy to just sit in front of a computer screen all evening (I have to watch that bad habit myself ) but as the others have said, friends aren't going to fall into your lap just like that. Try the local paper or the internet for things that are happening in your area.